->Yennefer & Geralt Interactions<- - Blog Posts

ofmvoonlight​:

When she took his hand, he gently squeezed it. He didn’t know if he could ever forgive himself for what happened between the two of them. But he wanted to temporarily let that go and actually appreciate the moment they were sharing. He wanted to be with her and she wanted to be with him. That was the only thing that mattered. Everything else would just have to wait until tomorrow or the day after. To have someone that made you feel so alive was rare. Most loves had a tendency to drain you but not Yennefer. Oh never her. 

Her words caused him to chuckle. Moving closer, he let his free hand cup her cheek. “Now that sounds like a good deal to me” Geralt nodded. “You want the dinner to be over there at Caffi Rhees or at my place? The choice is yours" 

No matter what she would always find a way to bring him down to his knees. She would always so easily break down those walls he had built up. He may have wished for her but he could clearly see that it wasn’t just a wish but a need. He had longed to be with someone who in a way understood him. So yes he may have wished for her but it had been her decision to stay and that was a comfort.

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Geralt was laughing. It had been a long, long time since she had heard that sound. It was nice— familiar. A tiny speck of comfort that it would all be alright in the end. 

Yennefer weighed the options only for a moment; the answer was easy for her. She had little intention of making any of this night a public affair, and the state Geralt was known to leave his bed most of the time was… not at all appealing. “Mine is fine. We can get something on the way. I think that would be easier than trying to piece together a meal from stray items in my cupboards.”

Smiling, she easily pulled him into a kiss. He was always so pliant under her grasp. It was endlessly amusing to the witch. When he was lost enough in it she murmured a soft “And Geralt?” 

Sparing only a moment for him to process and reply, she kissed him again, hand travelling up to his throat. Her grip went from feather light to harsh in mere seconds, nails digging crescents into his flesh. She pulled away from the kiss, meeting his eyes. 

“If you ever do anything like that again, I will rip you apart with my bare hands.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, though there was a slight smirk on her lips, magically still perfectly painted a pale red. She relinquished her grasp on his throat, but kept his hand in hers. “Now, what should we pick up for dinner, dear witcher?”

ofmvoonlight​:

“Oh” he breathed out as his gaze moved to land on her beautiful face. Just standing there, flabbergasted by her words, Geralt then ran a hand down his face. “Oh I am such a fool” he whispered. Of course his mind went into chaos mode the second she started to talk. He was in a constant fear of losing her and yet he always said and did things that could possibly push her away. Geralt was not only confusing to other people but also to himself. He had all of these feelings yet he didn’t know how to express them. He had all of these opinions and yet he didn’t know how to say them without coming across in a certain way. 

“I am sorry" 

Rubbing his forearm for a couple of seconds, Geralt then felt a small smile form on his lips. "If you want me back then I am the happiest Witcher in the world” he extended one of his hands towards her and arched a brow. “Would you like to join me for dinner? Or do you want to be alone for the rest of the day?”

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“Yes. You are a fool,” Yennefer replied with an exasperated fondness. She shook her head a little, happy to have finally gotten through that thick skull of his. She didn't need the ability to read his mind to figure out how sorry he was feeling right now, it was evident enough. “I know, Geralt. I know you are.”

Reaching for his hand, she accepted it with a practiced ease. She thought about his offer momentarily; it was hardly a difficult choice. She had spent so much time alone these past months, and didn’t want to do it for longer than she had to. 

Despite her striking independence and tendency to bite at the hands that fed her, she desperately hated being lonely. 

“How about dinner, then you can show me just how much you've missed me?“ she proposed, mischief gleaming in her eyes.

ofmvoonlight​:

Geralt really did wish that he had a filter because hurting the people he loved the most wasn’t really the way to live. He didn’t like seeing the pain in their eyes after he had once again opened his mouth and said something harsh and even unforgiveable. He wondered why he was the way he was and why he had been so comfortable with the way he carried himself. No one should like being cold and harsh, no one should like pushing people away and no one should like being this lonely. 

He wanted to protect her from harm and that also meant protecting her from himself and the way he was acting. Yes he was a rather selfish man from time to time when it came to Yennefer. He was selfish due to the need of keeping her in his life and the lengths he would go to make sure that she would always be there. But could he really do that when he had said the things he had said? When he had been acting in such a disgusting and vile way?

When she started to talk, he could feel his heart sink further and further down into the pit of his stomach because he knew that she was right. “I understand” he mumbled. Running a hand through his hair, Geralt looked at her and let out a shaky breath. “What I did.. I do not deserve a second, a third or a fourth chance. If you want this to end then I will respect your wishes and leave you alone" 

It’s the least he could do after all the torment and emotional whiplash. Sometimes he even confused himself with the intense emotions he constantly went through. The up’s and the down’s, the love and the hate. It wasn’t easy to have a heart that was beating inside your chest and it wasn’t easy to feel that heart shatter into a tiny little pieces.

But he deserved it.

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Exasperation. It was the only emotion that Yennefer could manage to feel when he spoke. Her brow furrowed in momentary confusion before realization settled over her. This bumbling idiot was so stupid, and it was a miracle that he had lived so long with a little brain like that rattling about his head. 

She pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to collect herself before speaking again. What the hell was she going to do with him? 

“Geralt.” Her voice was strained, trying not to bounce back out of control, “You deserve the award for stupidest witcher in creation. I’m not breaking things off, you oaf. I’m taking you back.”

Yennefer sighed, eyes narrowing at him, “So unless that isn’t what you want to do, can we just get on with things?”

ofmvoonlight​:

Geralt felt so heavy. Because no matter what he did or said he only dug a deeper hole. He should have never even wrote the things he wrote in that group chat but yet he did. He made the decision to send those messages. Could he ever forgive himself for the things he had put Yennefer through? Yes sure people make mistakes but to constantly make the same one? Now that wasn’t a mistake that was just a habit. 

Just watching her and the beauty that she was, listening to every single word that left her lips, he sighed softly. Of course he wanted to fight for her. He would fight day and night, year after year for decades because he loved her that much. He didn’t want anyone else and he knew that the second his eyes landed on her all those years ago. Now Geralt wasn’t someone who believed in the notion of love at first sight. But if he did then what he experienced that day sure fell under that category. He wanted to spend forever with her but how would she know if he didn’t tell her?

He closed the gap between the two which could be a big mistake. But he was willing to take that chance. “I do” Geralt told her and nodded. “Yennefer” letting out a soft sigh, he tilted his head to the side. “I have wanted you from the second I saw you. You are so much more than anything I could have ever dreamed of. You are everything. My everything” looking away, Geralt felt the blade of guilt dig into his flesh once again. “But I hurt you”

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Had Geralt always been this infuriating? Yennefer supposed she had heard it enough times from people on their various trips about the Continent, but she had never actually considered its truth before. She considered little that did not pertain to her, especially in those days. Even if he hadn’t been infuriating then, he sure had figured out a way to be extraordinarily so now. He made her skin crawl, though she didn’t know if it was in a good way, bad way, or combination of the two.

Despite everything, if she were truly honest with herself, she still knew what she always had: she would never not choose to be with him. It didn’t matter what evils he did to her, as Yennefer would never be able to truly stay away. She did love him, and always had, even when he had made it extraordinarily hard to do so. Geralt could cheat, steal, lie, betray, murder, or do anything to anyone at all, and at the end of the day, she knew she would go back to him. She wasn’t stupid enough to think that to be healthy, but it was the truth of the matter nonetheless. 

“Geralt,” she breathed his name, but said nothing else until he had finished speaking. 

Yennefer listened, actually taking in his words instead of hitting them back with a metaphorical  verbal tennis racket. On a nicer day, in a better circumstance, she would have teased him, but this was a rare occasion of silence. 

“You did… You said something despicable to me, merely because you knew it would hurt, because you were angry with me for what I don’t even know. But I shouldn’t want to remain like this, not for any longer. Frankly, I’m tired of it-- of all of it.” The mage paused, knowing that she could get one last jab in making him wait to hear her choice; her last bit of cruelty on the matter before she finally relented. “I think it's best if we stop acting fools, and put this situation behind us. I think you and I both know that's how this was always going to end, and I don’t see any point in drawing it out any longer.”

ofmvoonlight​:

Just looking down on the ground, he slowly nodded. “I didn’t mean to make myself sound like the victim because I am not one. I dug this hole and I shall lie in it” because that is what he should do. He should lay in the cold and realize that what had transpired was far worse than any other mistake he had made back home. Because this time around he used something against her that should have never been used in the first place. It should have been left alone, kept away from the rest of the world. He hit her where it hurt the most and for that he could never forgive himself. That was why he could never blame her if she didn’t want to forgive him either.

“Do you want me to win you back? You have a choice in this as well, Yennefer” he finally looked at her and sighed softly. “I could never force you to stay. That is just not in my nature” he had always believed that every single person had the choice to stay or to leave. And now when he had hurt her so deeply it was only fair for him to actually back off and let her decide what she wanted. 

Geralt loved her and he always would. Wishing for her, yearning for her and begging that she would one day be his had become such a big part of his everyday life. But could he with a clear conscience continue this if the damage was too grave? “You deserve the world, Yennefer. And if you want me to fight then I will. I will fight until my body screams for misery and even then I will push through it. Because you are my wish, my one and only. You always will be no matter what happens”

To be this in love with someone was dangerous. Geralt knew that but he did not care. Because she was everything he wanted and more. She had passion and she had a fire inside her heart that many people feared. But not Geralt. Never.

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Making fists at her sides to steady hands that were shaking with rage, Yennefer wanted to scream in frustration. Why was this all so difficult? Why did life have to be so cruel to her after all this time? Was her childhood spent tending to pigs worth more money than her not enough? Were the days trapped in Aretuza with nobody to write to her, the days serving selfish kings, the pain of fighting battles not her own not enough to satisfy whatever cruel bit of the universe that was seemingly after her? Why did Geralt have to be wrapped up in it too?

“Do you think you would still be alive and standing here talking to me if I didn’t want you to? After all this time I thought you’d know me well enough to get that.” Yennefer took a breath and let go of the fists she had made. She wanted somebody to try for her, to want her in the same way she wanted. She had wanted Geralt back so badly, she took drastic measures to be able to have him. It wasn't the fact there had been someone else that made her angry, it was that he had put so little effort into coming back to her after. 

There was the talk of the wish again. It got to her more than it should’ve. How did she know what they felt for each other wasn't just some djinn’s spell and not their own natural feelings? He had known her all of five minutes when he made it, and they had been wrapped up around one another ever since. She would dwell on that another day. 

“I want—“ a sound of frustration. “I want you to want me like I want you.” It sounded almost pathetic to her as she sighed in something nearing defeat. The tide of anger was slowly receding from her at last. 

ofmvoonlight​:

“I don’t know” he told her. Because that was the truth. He didn’t know what he wanted and especially not now when his memories had come back and the last thing he saw before ending up here was Yennefer taking Ciri away from him. He didn’t know what he wanted and he didn’t know what he felt towards the other because everything was just so confusing. 

Geralt had never been the best when it came to communication. Misunderstandings and clumsy words was more his cup of tea and once again that had manifested in the worst of ways. Because here he was standing in front of the woman he loved trying to apologize but no words came out. Because he didn’t know if she would actually hear him out or if she would curse him for all eternity. Not that he would ever blame her if that is what she would do. Kinda hard to put the blame on someone who had just gotten hurt by the actions of a clumsy man. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the white haired Witcher shook his head. “Actually that is a lie. What I want is you. Always” clearing his throat, he closed his eyes. That way he could actually talk to her and not feel dread and shame wash over him. “I have regained my memories. And I had been foolish enough to think that the last memory I would have of home would be a good one” it had been much better if that had been the case. 

“My last memory is watching you take Ciri away from me. I didn’t get the chance to reach you in time to stop it from happening because I woke up here immediately after with no memories whatsoever. I know that doesn’t excuse how I acted in the public group chat. I just.. wanted to explain myself” he felt so uncomfortable standing here talking to her. He knew how Yennefer could get when she was upset. But then again he did deserve it. 

“I should have never said the things I said to you and for that I apologize. That’s all I wanted to tell you. I will leave you alone from now on. Once again I am sorry for not only wasting your time but also hurting you in the process” he finally opened his eyes and looked at her, feeling his heart ache for the woman standing before him. But this was for the best. She deserved happiness and if this was the way she could possibly achieve it then so be it.

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Yennefer didn’t think it was physically possible to roll her eyes any harder than she just had. She had always known Geralt to be a fool on the best of days, but this was something else entirely. How the hell was she supposed to keep her cool when, by his words, he didn’t even know what he wanted from her?

It turned out it was possible for her to roll her eyes harder, as she managed it the second time he spoke. Of course he wanted her. They were bound by destiny. It was the same wanting she had for him. But right now, she was far too wounded to even consider trying to dig that feeling up. 

There was one thing he said which suddenly made her understand. He remembered actions recent to him, but nearly five years past to her. That explained why she didn’t know what he had been on about. Still, it wasn't enough. 

“So you think it’s appropriate to cause a scene in front of the entire bloody town? You think, having full understanding of what your words really meant to me, that you can play the victim card? You think you can explain away the pain you caused me with some shitty half baked apology!?” Each of her questions got progressively louder, but she quieted down when she caught the look of a stranger passing by. Yennefer always lashed out when she was hurt. It was one of her less appealing qualities. There were very few who could escape her wrath when she did. “And now, after all of that, and everything I did for you, you don’t even have the balls to fight to win me back? Some Witcher you are.” 

Her jaw tightened as she looked back at him, not wavering in her stance. And yet there it was. Longing, regret, hope, and fear.

ofmvoonlight​:

@bombadills​ | Yennefer

Great job, jackass. 

What had transpired in that group chat was a mistake and one he knew he would have to pay for in months or even years to come. He should have just shut his phone off and gone to sleep but no of course he had to dig his grave deeper than it already had been to begin with.

Standing outside of Caffi Rhees, he looked down at his phone trying to come up with something to write to Yen but nothing seemed to come to him. His phone found a new home inside his pocket and he was about to leave when he saw her. His heart dropped. What should he do? Should he approach her or leave her be? 

“Yennefer”

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A quick cup of coffee and some fried food, and she would be fine. Yennefer of Vengerberg Wilczynski was always fucking fine. She was nursing a slight hangover, and wanted to do something nice for herself however small a thing it may be. She could eat quickly and curl up in bed and sleep this whole thing off. 

She was attempting to sleep off far more than the hangover.

It was cold as she stepped outside (it was always bloody cold here), yet she was white hot with rage when she saw him. Geralt's words had cut deep into her, making her feel a rage that had been long latent in her chest.  His words were calculated, cruel, as only someone who knew you to your core could be. ‘Not her daughter’ as if she hadn't trained Ciri, protected her, guided her through her life when nobody else would or could. She was so angry, she was ready to tear his throat out with her fingers alone. He damn well knew what Ciri was to her. 

When Yennefer focused on him, she felt the ley lines of chaos divert and pool around her feet, ready to take her under. She pushed it back. She wouldn’t lose control. Not in public. Setting her jaw, she let him approach. Despite her size, her presence, swirling with confidence and energy, made her feel much bigger than she actually was. 

In that moment she didn’t care about timelines or magic. She didn’t care about fate or destiny. She didn’t care about wishes or history. She hated him. A burning and furious hatred she hadn't felt for anyone, save the sad excuse of a mother and stepfather she had as a girl. 

She could barely meet his eyes when he approached, afraid if she did that she would spiral out of control. Her voice was low, scathing, as she spoke, “What. do. you. want?”

ofmvoonlight​:

Did it leave a sour taste in his mouth when she made that comment about kissing? Of course it did. But it really shouldn’t because she wasn’t his. He had Louisa so why was he standing here feeling jealous over the thought of Yennefer kissing other people? Pathetic, if you ask him. He had no right to act any kind of way around her, he didn’t even remember her. So he had to swallow it down. 

“Well it’s nice to know that I am special”

He told her, flashing her a soft smile. When he was about to speak once again, he felt the buzzing of his phone. As he grabbed his phone and looked at the screen, it was like cold water was thrown all over him. Louisa. Of course it was. “Ehm well.. it was nice seeing you”

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He would always be special to her-- even if he didn’t know her name, or if he was old and rotten, or if he never wanted to see her again. Destiny or no, he would always be special.

Turn and walk away, Yennefer.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he checked his phone, and she knew enough not to. Her eyes narrowed momentarily, then she looked off.

Turn and walk.

“I suppose... Well, I suppose it was nice to see you, too.” Her words, stiff and too big in her mouth. It was a lie, because it hadn’t been nice-- not at all. It had been horrible actually. She wished Geralt was spheres away, toiling over her and Ciri and the bard, because that would be so much easier to bear than this. “Until the next meeting.”

Finally gaining control of her own legs, Yennefer turned, jammed her fists into her coat pockets, and she walked away. 

ofmvoonlight​:

Writing down the number into his phone as a new contact, he smiled to himself. Yeah sure he did feel rather stupid asking for her number like that. But it was the only way he could remember her. Because her voice was the most sweetest of sounds and it always made him feel so at peace whenever he had his dreams. And now that he had heard her speak in real life.. yeah he was done for. No one had ever made him feel like this before. No other woman or man. And that was a sign, right?

Looking up just in time to see the sun lower into the horizon, he almost forgot how to breathe. Because the sight before him was more beautiful than any work of art. Her eyes, her hair, her face and her entire being was just so gorgeous. It would bring anyone to their knees, that’s for sure. Maybe she already knew that. 

Taking the picture, he then cleared his throat. “Giving people your number or kissing them?” Geralt asked.

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One of these days, Yennefer told herself, I’ll learn not to run from my problems. It was all she had ever known to do. The problems of others were easy; the mage had no problems taking a side for the purpose of money or promises. Her own were different.

Amused, she gave a little shake of her head, “Not the kissing. That's commonplace.” A part of her knew that comment would likely spark a bit of jealousy in him. Another part of her liked that. “But I don’t give my number. Or make a fool of myself by crying in the street. Or any of this. I just keep walking.” 

Yennefer didn’t know if she actually wanted him to call or not, and even if he did, she didn’t know if she had it in her to answer.

ofmvoonlight​:

Normally he wasn’t this nervous around someone. But then again he didn’t really try and seek out conversation with other people, no he mostly tried to stay in the shadows. But not when it came to Yennefer. No when it came to her all he wanted to do was stand in the sunlight and be seen for the first time in forever. He didn’t want to just exist anymore. He wanted to actually live. 

“Ah yes yes the memory thing” Geralt rolled his eyes at himself as he looked at his phone. “Tell me your number and I will write it down as a contact. I will take a picture of you and use it as my contact picture. In a way I will remember you the second I call you” he smiled.

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Exhaling a laugh, Yennefer looked away for a moment. This felt so childish, so monumentally stupid. What were they doing? What did they hope to accomplish here? She hadn’t a clue where this could go, nor what she could do. Seeing Geralt like this was worse than if he was stuck on another sphere. At least he wouldn’t look at her like that, making her feel sick with every sweep of his gaze. 

She gave him her number, and looked him over again. An unnatural wall was between them, and she wanted for naught more than to knock it down. 

The sun was beginning to lower, casting golden rays on the back of her head, highlighting the dark curls of hair that tumbled down her shoulders. It lit his eyes too, which made her silently curse herself for not having the guts to look away for long. She could be a foolish woman.  “I hope you know, I don’t do this sort of thing often.”

ofmvoonlight​:

Did he want her to leave? No of course not. But she had a life to live and to be selfish and ask her to stay wasn’t really his thing. He didn’t want to ask for too much when all he had done was ruin things between them. Because that’s what he had done, right? Due to his oblivious state of mind, he must have ruined whatever the two of them had. There was no way someone could forgive him for forgetting who they were. Right? He didn’t want to assume but he couldn’t help but to worry that he had stepped over the line without even knowing. 

“Oh right right. I am so sorry for keeping you” Geralt cleared his throat, trying to keep his composure. “Seems like time stopped the second my eyes met yours” and with that he looked down at his wrist watch and cringed. He was late, oh so late. How the hell would he explain to Louisa why he was late? Oh yeah I met a woman that makes me feel a hundred times better than you ever have. 

No it would be best to bite his tongue and come up with a different explanation. “Can I have your number?” when he noticed how weird that sounded, he let out a groan and waved his hands. “Ah sorry I didn’t mean it in a creepy way. I just.. I want to actually keep in touch. I feel like you could help me remember”

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Hair neatly tucked back into place, Yennefer sighed. “No matter. No need for apologies; it's far from the worst thing that's happened to me. Simply a little run in. Nobody’s fault.” Other than destiny’s. She nearly chuckled at the comment. He never had been good at flirting, or compliments, or many things of that nature. 

“My numb- oh, yes.” The initial confused expression on her face melted into understanding. Despite having been there for months, mobile phones as a concept were still a little elusive to her. The earnest nature of the question made her laugh, not having expected such a schoolboy air to be about Geralt. “I want to keep in touch, though I’m no expert on memory. Do you want me to write it down for you or just let you put it in your mobile yourself?”

ofmvoonlight​:

Guilt, shame, longing and love. It was the emotions he felt when his eyes landed on her. The love part did confuse the man as once again; he had not met her before outside of his dreams. But maybe the dreams was enough to make him fall?

It was a good question, a great one even. But it was one he had no answer to which made things even more frustrating. Because all he wanted to do was hold her, kiss her and to tell her that everything would be alright. But how could he say such a thing when he didn’t know if that was the truth? Was it alright or was he in a weird state of denial? Yeah he only made things worse by asking himself all of these questions. And it didn’t make the conversation with Yennefer less awkward and strained. 

“Not really. I have been alone for years. And around here especially so. But maybe that fits me. I have always been told I am rather grumpy”

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“Because you are,” the comment came before she could think better of herself to bite her tongue. A half smile. “I don’t know if it fits you or not. I think one can only reap from life that of which they’ve sown.”

Yennefer tried to take all of him in: his stance, the shape of his shoulders beneath modern Earth clothing, the fall of his hair, the look in his eyes. She wondered what he was thinking, but found herself hesitant to take a peak in his head. She really only did it because the dry way he responded made her laugh, but she felt little like laughing now. 

“I’ve interrupted your day.” A true enough statement. She didn’t want to end things, not really, but at the same time she wanted to run from him. Half to save her own heart, and half to see if he would come chasing after. Yennefer ran her fingers over the hard cover of the book she had originally come out for, not knowing the best move. She was snapped out of it when a little fumble caused one of the pages to cut her finger. She quickly retracted the hand and wiped it against her black coat to dull the feeling. Barely acknowledging it otherwise, she looked to him again. “The universe always seems to have plans for you, Geralt. You won’t be lonely forever.”

ofmvoonlight​:

Geralt would have to soul search once he was alone. He would have to wander inside that head of his to see if maybe just maybe he would unlock a memory or two. He couldn’t just let this pass. He couldn’t let the kiss that just happened be the only one they shared. It had felt wrong to pull away and it had felt wrong to not kiss her back the moment her lips met his. He would have to soul search when he was alone because it shouldn’t feel so right to be with someone he had just met. To look at someone the way he looked at Yennefer. With admiration and want. And maybe just a tiny bit of sadness. 

He was at a loss for words but then again he had never been a man of many words to begin with. Awkward when it came to small talk? Yep. That was Geralt indeed. But when it came to her he actually wanted to try even though it may come across as forced. He didn’t want to just stand there and look like a fool. It was horrible enough to feel like one. 

“I like the idea of wildberries being the reason behind your eyes. I don’t know why but it sounds really sweet” Geralt nodded. Letting out a deep sigh, he clasped his hands behind his back. “I wonder what the explanation would be behind my eyes. I never really got the chance to ask any of my parents”

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This was unbearable. There was a wild swirling wind of emotions trapped inside of her, and it was quite overwhelming to attempt to sort it all out. The chill of the air, previously unnoticed, was creeping in on her more and more. 

It was painful to see him like this, to know he looked at her and didn’t see her was disquieting. He would look at her how they did when they first met in Rinde, but with a little less distaste than he had then. Their first meeting had left her with a pile of feelings, slightly similar to those she had now, and she hadn’t missed having to muddle her way through them. She looked at him as she had in Aedd Gynvael, defensive of herself and her feelings. Scared of the hurt he could do as she realized what he truly meant to her. For a moment she remembered what she had thought back then, and she was beginning to think it now. Truth was a shard of ice. It was cold, and it hurt, just as the feelings between them were in this place. 

“She wasn't a sweet woman,” Yennefer stated simply. Yennefer wasn't sweet either. She amended after a moment, “but on its own it is a nice thought.” She didn’t know what to say to him; the whole witcher thing seemed like a topic for another day “Parents have never been a favorite of mine. But it sounds like you had them here?”

ofmvoonlight​:

She didn’t need space. So that option was off the table. Good. The last thing he wanted to do was to just leave and for that to be the final time the two of them talk. Not when he had so many questions to ask and not when he wanted to actually get to know her. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too much of him to ask for. 

Running a hand through his hair, he gently tugged on it. “It is a promise indeed. I truly do hope my memories will come back to me someday soon” not only for his own sake but for Yennefer’s. It would feel like he was stringing her along and like he was just playing with her emotions when that was not the truth. At the moment everything confused him and he knew that it would become a big part of his everyday life. But as long as he had her by his side? He felt like he could handle anything. 

“Have anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes?”

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

It was only in moments like these wherein Yennefer wished she was a good person. Objectively, she knew she wasn’t. Years of self preservation turned into decades of selfish acts. On most occasions, it didn’t phase her, but this was different. She wished she were wiser, more selfless, more patient. Maybe then she would know what to do. Maybe. 

It was pointless to dwell on such things, because she wasn’t that person, couldn’t be. 

“Yes, I think it’s obvious where I stand on the matter.” He hadn’t laughed. She didn’t know why she had expected it. His compliments were expected, though. He had given them to her freely, often at the most inappropriate moments possible. Some things hadn't changed it seemed. 

“They have. You have, many times.” Yennefer wasn't lying. Violet eyes didn’t occur in humans, only in elves, and even then it was a rarity; meaning her having them was exceedingly lucky. She didn't know how much or little to explain, but it was Geralt. There wasn't any of it he hadn't heard before, and it was a stupid bit of small talk, but it would be nice to talk about anything other than what had just happened. “My mother always said it was because she had too many wildberries while pregnant with me, but they’re from my father’s side.”

ofmvoonlight​:

“I do not have any right to say how you feel or dictate the outcome of this situation. But I do have say in my part in this. The last thing I want to do is cause more hurt. I just don’t know what to do because I do not want to torment you with the fact that my memories are not intact. I do not want to look into those gorgeous eyes and see anger and resentment. I don’t want to stay away. I don’t want this to be our first and last encounter in this town. But if needed be, I will at least try to give you the space you need”

That’s all he could do at the moment. Geralt couldn’t give Yennefer empty promises of a better tomorrow when everything was still up in the air. He couldn’t pretend to know what was going on because that would only end up coming back to haunt him. He wished there was a book somewhere that could tell him how to cope with what was currently happening. How to cope with crushing someone’s heart without even trying. 

“You have not disturbed me one bit. That kiss? It was glorious” he felt a small smile form on his lips as he nodded. “I just have too much respect for you to kiss you back right now. Once my memories are back I shall give you what you seek”

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

Yennefer’s gaze finally met his. He was not met with anger or resentment, or anything at all. She wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of seeing his affect on her, if she could help it. Now that she was collecting herself, it was becoming a little easier. She sighed, dropping her head for a moment to fully collect herself, before picking it back up.

“I don’t need space, and I don’t want it to be our only encounter, either; at least we can agree on that.” Eyes roving his face, Yennefer’s mind was racing as she tried to find an answer for him. She couldn’t give him one. Taking a step back, antsy hands re-tied the belt on her coat, looking for anything else to occupy them beside reaching out to touch him again.

“I’ve been told such things before, but the person saying it is usually much more desperate than you seem to be,” it was a weak attempt at a joke. “Is that a promise, then, witcher?” Yennefer didn’t know what she was supposed to do or say. She didn’t define herself by men, never had, but it was unnerving to think for the first time in over half a century, she didn’t have the safety net of Geralt to fall back on any longer.

ofmvoonlight​:

Destined to stay intertwined. Nothing made sense. Her words only made the confusion ten times worse and he was about to tell her that when she grabbed his collar and kissed him. So familiar. It felt like whatever or whoever it was that had taken his memories was now laughing at him for how foolish he was. The kiss felt right but he knew that it was wrong. So he fought against the urge to kiss her back, hold her close to his own frame. Reluctantly he pulled back and looked at her.

He knew that would only hurt her even more. And he hated him for it. But he was still with Louisa and he couldn’t hurt her either. 

Cupping her face, he shook his head. “Kissing me won’t solve anything. And it will only bring you more pain. I am hurting you by simply talking to you so tell me how that is fair? Tell me why I have the right to crush you like this? No one should have that much power over another person. And I am sorry. I will tell you that over and over until you realize that I never wanted this to happen”

Leaning forward, Geralt pressed his lips against her forehead. “Yennefer” the man softly whispered and it felt so effortless. Her name carried no weight and no shame, no regret and no sorrow.

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

She knew it wasn't right before she did it. Nobody had ever taught Yennefer how to process emotions. Her parents never cared, and Tissaia had merely shown her how to bottle it up until she felt no longer. It's why containing herself when feelings got too big was such a challenge; a little anger and frustration caused her to boil over, joy caused her to get overconfident, fear and pain caused irrationality. 

When he moved away, she did not meet his eyes. In her head, she was blindly searching for her bottle in the dark. She needed to shove everything back inside of it as quick as she could. In trickled the frustration and fear, and out came the anger and irrationality. Voice low, Yennefer was losing the battle with herself, “Do not think I don’t know what I’m doing. You mistake me. It is not by your actions that I feel the way I do, that's my own doing. You don’t get to lecture me. You’ve not the right, nor the understanding of to whom you speak. You asked who I was to you, and why you felt that way, and I showed you the answer. To accept it or not, that's your decision. I won’t force you to love me.”

This was her reward for giving her heart away. She accepted that much. “Do not pity me,” she whispered. “I don’t want your pity, Geralt.” I just want you. “But tell me what you wish of me, and I'll do what I can. I’ve obviously disturbed you enough already today.”

ofmvoonlight​: 

He wanted to kiss each and every tear away from that beautiful face of hers. To know that in a way he caused her that much pain made the decision almost final. But that should be her decision to make. Geralt didn’t want to just leave more heartbreak and he especially didn’t want that heart to be hers. The last thing he wanted to do is hurt the one person who made him come alive. The one person that made sense in this wretched world. Everyone else just melted away into a blur. Louisa, she was gone. The only focus at this very moment was her. 

If he only knew just how much power the other possessed over him. Every movement he made, word he said and glance he threw was her’s and her’s alone. His last wish, the only wish that mattered. To be with her to the end of days. To lay next to her, kiss her shoulder and feel the warm embrace of someone who wasn’t afraid of him. The only woman who had ever caused the ground underneath his feet to crack open. 

“You do not need to apologize” he assured her and then cleared his throat, nodding to himself. “If you want me to stay away then I will. I do not want to cause you more pain. I just can’t do that. Not when it’s you. I may not understand why there’s such a pull towards you. But truth be told, I don’t even care. The only thing that matters is you. Which is why I will put the offer on the table. I will stay away. All you need to do is say the word and I’ll be nothing more than a distant memory”

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

The words that he spoke dug right into her, and every alarm bell in her head was going off at once-- fear, panic, worry, and the one that only stirred into action when she was about to do something incredibly stupid. Making peace with that, she let it happen. She would feel just as bad if she didn’t make a move, than if she did. It was the look on his face that did her in; one Yennefer was familiar with quite well. though, she was familiar with all of Geralt’s faces, a side effect of having known him for decades.

“Shut up. Isn’t it obvious, you oaf?” It was not obvious to anyone except Yennefer. “I don’t want that at all. Not even a little. I want you to- fuck. If I told you all of the things I truly wanted, you would go red as an apple. You feel like this because you made a choice that destined us to stay intertwined, and I chose you back, because I-” There it was again, the words stubbornly lodged in her throat.

The way she looked at him, eyes piercing, pupils dilatated, said what she couldn’t. She reached out, and, grabbing him by the collar to pull him sharply down to her level, kissed him. Yennefer knew that she would likely loathe herself for it later; she didn’t know if she could bear the look on his face when they parted, but she would suffer it for one tiny moment of selfish joy. 

ofmvoonlight​:

He listened intently to each and every word, letting them hang in the small space between them. Time and space ceased to exist and for once he did not care. He was content in this little world of their. He was far away from all the hurt and from all his fears. He was safe here, happy here, warm and maybe even loved here. He could feel the words sink into his skin, burn like the summer rays. 

This was not fair. It wasn’t right to finally find someone who gave him the sensations he had been yearning for. Every single face he looked at, every body he had touched during his years here in Sallow. None of them made him feel like she did. Just one glance and he felt whole again. It made it hard to breathe almost because every single gasp for air made his lungs heavier. And now that she touched him, his soul almost left his body all together. 

Please remember. Please just remember, you fucker. 

Geralt’s eyes closed at the kiss. It was like his body almost betrayed him because when she turned, he felt his hand reach out. Finding a home on her arm, he didn’t do anything to turn her back around. He did not have the right to dictate if she wanted to face him or not. That was her’s and only her’s. “I truly am sorry” the former Witcher whispered. “I want to remember. I want to look at you and not feel confusion”

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

Anything Yennefer could do or say would be unfair to him. He didn’t know better, and none of it was his fault, yet her chest ached and eyes stung. She tried and tried and tried to keep it together, but failed miserably the second she felt his hand settle on her arm. By the time she turned toward him once more, tears had silently slipped down her cheeks. 

The only person who could ever break Yennefer of Vengerberg was Geralt of Rivia.

“And I want the same,” her voice remained level, if not a little strained. “Because you mean very much to me. Very much indeed. And the thought of you walking around here like some stranger is... I cant, Geralt. I cant do that. I look at you and all I want to do is-” She stopped, not for herself, but for him. He didn't need to hear this. 

Wiping her face with the back of the wrist on her free arm, Yennefer steadied herself. Her mascara probably smudged, but she barely found it in herself to care for once. Appearance had already been spoiled, after all. Clearing her mind, tucking her heart back in its gilded cage, drying her eyes, and squaring her shoulders, she looked at him properly once more. Façade back up. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

ofmvoonlight​:

Her voice was familiar not only because of his dreams but because of some nagging sensation in the back of mind. So many times before he had heard her speak his name and every single time it would bring him a raw sense of happiness. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her frame and shield her from the world. He wanted to protect her but what would he protect her from? This town may not be perfect but it wasn’t all that bad. It wasn’t dangerous unless you wandered in the woods at night. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He refused.

“I feel many things when I look into those eyes of yours. I have dreamt of you. Of your voice and the sound of your laugh. How could that be when I have not met you before? How could that be when I have searched high and low for you only to be met with blank stares. No one is like you and that is confusing”

Geralt was a normally grumpy, cold and brutal man who hid his heart and emotions from the rest of the world in order to keep himself safe. But around this woman all those walls just fell to the ground and his heart was exposed. In his hands was his beating heart and it was yearning for the other. 

“Please just tell me”

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

The hand that was placed atop his between them gripped tighter, and the other moved to his face, a thumb smoothing over the crease in his brow. A silent urging to relax. She always thought him beautiful, scars, rough edges, and all. 

Yennefer cupped his cheek, pad of her thumb sweeping over it for a moment before moving it to rest in the center of his sternum. Forcing a smile, “Fine, I will tell you. Believe me or not, know that I do not lie, especially not to you. This town, wretched place, is not all it seems. Some find their minds… distorted. Memories gone, emptiness or new ones in their place. You seem to be one of those few. You don’t know anyone like me, because there isn’t anyone who could ever match up. I am one of a kind, as you once told me,” her smile went a bit more genuine before falling again. 

“You’ve met me before, of course. We are…” she never knew the word for their bond. Not friends (no matter how many times they had made that joke). Dating was too silly. They certainly weren’t married. “We are important to one another. Very important.  Neither of us are very good at saying it, but I..” 

Love you. She couldn’t finish it. Not now. 

Yennefer leaned up, difference in height aided by the slight platform of her boots. She placed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, swiping the light transfer of lipstick away with her knuckle. Not realizing how much it would affect her, she let go of him, turning away. Jaw clenched, looking up to the grey sky, eyes tightly shut in prayer that she wouldn't begin to cry. 

ofmvoonlight​:

It was a surprise but a good one when she placed her hand in his. It belonged there. The two fit like puzzle pieces. And for once he didn’t fear anything. He didn’t fear the unknown and he did not fear the woman before him because he had looked into those eyes so many times before and heard that voice whenever he longed for relief. She was his safety, his home, his anchor, his life. And if only that barrier could fall to the ground and become nothing more than dust, he would finally be free. 

With all the other people he had went to bed with and tried to date it felt like he was lying not only to them but to himself. Because no one was like the woman from his dreams, the woman before him. The aching in his heart, the yearning in his soul. Nothing could fill it and nothing could replace it. Geralt always tried to find a name but he was met with nothing. Just laughter, moans and crying. 

But then she said her name and something just clicked. Two of the walls fell down and he just looked at her. “You are heaven” was the only thing leaving his parted lips, eyes roaming over that face of her’s. A face he had mapped out within the realm of his mind and his dreams. Why did she feel so familiar? What kind of a relationship did the two of them have? 

She was not just a dream. Not just a wish. She was real, she was here and he couldn’t have been happier even if he tried. So the witcher lifted his hand, his finger tips dancing over his cheek. “Why are you so familiar to me? Why does it feel like we have walked alongside one another before?”

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

There was a warmth that radiated from him, as there always had been. Witchers ran hot, which was quite a nicety for Yennefer, who was seemingly always cold. His hand felt just as she remembered, that was for sure. In better circumstances, she would scold him for not cleaning the dirt under his fingernails, he would huff about it, but would yield to her all the same. 

Fuck, and when he spoke, she wanted to kiss him, to press up against him so tightly there was no room left, to the point it would be entirely inappropriate to be in public any longer. She wanted to be entirely inappropriate with him. Yennefer’s eyes went a little glassy. Only Geralt had the ability to do such a thing. “I missed that awkward flirting of yours,” came a low voice. She had shared the sentiment to him more than once before, and she truly meant it. 

His next line of questioning made her stomach turn. How was she supposed to explain any of it? I’m familiar because we’ve been tied together for decades. I’m familiar because I’ve helped you time and time again; as you've mapped every inch of me. I’m familiar because we have a daughter. I’m familiar because we love one another, not perfectly, because we are not perfect, but as best we can. She said none of those things. “Why do you think? Don’t you feel there's a possibility that we have? Do you want to know who I am, Geralt— what I am?”

Placing her spare hand atop his, she looked about ready to break. Any bit of Yennefer-typical confidence had drained from her, no longer looking like the biggest person in the room. She steeled herself, trying to muster it back up. “I am something more.”

ofmvoonlight​:

His heart sank, his walls did as well. And that was the weirdest part of it all because they never fell. Not even around Louisa. No because around her those walls just went higher. But the purple eyed beauty in front of him made everything shatter and fall. How could this be happening? And why didn’t he know who she was when she clearly looked at him in such a way? Strangers did not look at each other like that. And that made him feel like the worst person on this planet. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Why? He did not know. But he felt bound to her. Like it was his duty to keep her heart safe. 

He should be asking the questions but instead all he could give was confused grunts and silence. He didn’t know what was going on and he didn’t know what criminal offense he had done to deserve such a bad case of karma. But whatever he had done in his past life must have been wretched. That was the only explaination as to why he felt so stuck between what was real and what was fake. 

“I-” he whispered and then reached his hand out, palm up as a way to invite her to hold him. “I am so sorry” now Geralt was never one to apologize. He wasn’t proud by any means but he was stubborn. When he felt like he had done nothing wrong, he would stand behind that even if it meant he would lose people. But around her he felt the need. What was happening to her was unfair, she did not deserve it.

Whatever that may be.

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

For a brief moment, Yennefer wanted to scream at him, as if she would somehow knock his memory back into him by doing so. They had their fair share of shouting matches in the past– putting a hotheaded mage and a stubborn witcher in close proximity was bound to lead to such things. She knew this was different from all of those occasions, though, because at the end of those they would make up and move on, but this was… something else entirely. 

He had amnesia once before. That had been difficult (it would have been easier if a certain red haired sorceress hadn’t gotten involved, but she mattered little now). Yennefer was not there for the bulk of the experience, which made the idea of dealing with it now– all on her own– all the more nauseating. Seeing him like this was undoubtedly strange. He was so… quiet. It was like a brick wall laid between them. 

“Sorry,” Yennefer repeated. Her voice had gone quiet, level, trying to figure out what to do. She stared at the hand outstretched to her. Finally pulling her hand from her coat pocket, she flexed her fingers to dispel the remnants of Chaos; setting her jaw tight, she placed her hand atop his. The gesture was tense at first, as if she was reaching out to touch a hot stove, as if touching him could burn her. Her arm relaxed a bit a moment later. Her hands were clearly that of a mage, fingers long and delicate, a few calluses along the sides of them (something she paid close mind to, often using a carefully crafted hand cream which smelled of lilac and gooseberries).

Meeting his eyes at last, she sighed at the sight of him. No way forward was clear. She couldn't fix this. She hated not being able to fix things, especially when it came to Geralt. “Fuck,” she whispered, before speaking normally once again. “What am I going to do with you, Geralt of Rivia? What in the world am I supposed to do with you?” the woman cleared her throat. “You need something to call me by. Yennefer, that’s my name.”

ofmvoonlight​:

Love came and went, friendships ended and life was spilled. Guts, gore, broken hearts. That was the life Geralt of Rivia was used to. But Geralt from Sallow was a different story. Here he was nothing more than a farmer. His long milk white hair and amber eyes was the two things that made him stand out from the rest. It was like he had a target on his back and the most frustrating part? He didn't even know why he looked this way. He also didn't know why the darkness felt like home and why his hand felt so empty. Was he used to holding a heavy object? And why? Why did it feel like he was an imposter walking around pretending to be an ordinary man when he was nothing of the sort? 

His dreams only made his confusion ten times worse. Because every single night he heard the same voices, the same names and he saw the same movements. But he never saw their faces. Yet it felt like he was home for the first time in years. The happiest time he experienced was whenever he closed his eyes and fell into a fast and deep slumber. That was when his happiness washed over him. Relief was also an emotion that took over his senses whenever he heard those voices again. 

A woman, a man and a young girl. Every time he asked for their names, he heard mumbles. And every single time he tried to reach out he was met with nothing. Now Geralt wasn't someone who liked to be this confused and left in the dark fumbling to find a light source. He wanted to just yell at the world for making him this vulnerable. 

It made his love life worse as well. No one compared to the woman of his dreams. He tried with Louisa, he really did. But from the get go it felt like she was deceiving him. Used him. But what for? It actually hurt him to not feel appreciated or wanted. He wasn't someone who ran after people begging to be loved. He was usually content with being left alone in the cold. 

He woke up from his thoughts when he felt someone collide with him. "Maybe you should be the one watching where you are going?" he suggested. But when he heard her voice, her sweet voice, his heart soared. It's her. The woman from his dreams. But how? About to ask who she was and how she knew his name, he felt his body tense up. 

Letting out a low grunt, he placed his hands on her hips as a way to make some distance between them. "I do not know who you are. I apologize"

⊱ ──────────── {⋆⌘⋆} ──────────── ⊰

Hands flexed and clenched to fists, Yennefer pulled them back hard and fast, not for anger at him specifically, but for fear of having an outburst. Staggering backwards a step, she felt the Chaos sparking between her fingertips, it was a rushing flood through her veins. Tiny flecks of purple light flickered on her hands, which she quickly jammed into the pockets of her coat. 

She, of course, had heard stories about what this town could do, but she had never considered what she would do if it affected her. At that moment she truly hated this place; a distaste was quickly morphing into loathing. It made a home in the back of her throat, making her feel sick. The choker round her neck felt like it was tightening with every second. 

The next thought to cross her mind was Ciri. How would she take this? Likely, not well. Geralt meant as much to her as he did to Yennefer. How was she supposed to look her daughter in the eyes and say that he didn’t know who she was. The idea of it only made her feel worse. 

“You mean… Please tell me you’re joking. Tell me you’re just mad at me and playing some stupid game, because I cant…”  violet eyes boring into him, she seemed desperate, and Yennefer was very rarely a desperate person “Geralt. Please.”