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is it an autistic / nd thing to say the word of something as you see it?

like i saw a bag of dirt and immediately said “dirt”, i do this with a lot of things and didn’t think it was weird until someone pointed it out

I think this is a form of echolalia (though, it probably has its own name, but I couldn't find it). I definitely do it.

I'll often say an item out loud, read signs out loud, read trucks or delivery cars out loud etc. I mostly do it when I'm very tired or sometimes when I'm really happy and not masking.

Although my autism diagnosis is a big relief, I feel sad for myself. For all the years being mistreated and misunderstood and expected to do more than I was able to. For all that time I spent hating myself for not being independent or for hitting developmental milestones slower than my peers. For all the times I tried to push myself to do things that drained the life and joy out of me. My autism diagnosis is a great thing. But i can't help but feel sad for that guy. I cant help but mourn the childhood I could have had.

I’ve experienced two bereavements in a very short period of time. My (undiagnosed) autism is making this trauma even more difficult. I feel physically ill all the time, I can’t do anything but at the same time I can’t process anything. I have barely cried and don’t even feel like this is real, or that it’s even me experiencing this. It doesn’t help that my family don’t accept me being autistic, so when I try to explain that I’m overwhelmed, anxious and experiencing sensory overload more, they just ignore that there’s even anything for me to be upset about. I just don’t know what to do.

I am really sorry you're experiencing grief so close together.

It is well known that Autistics experience grief very differently to neurotypicals. We process it far slower, experience far more inner turmoil with less ability to express it, and this can lead to a long-term burnout/shutdown relationship, where we're more sensitive to sensory input but instead of meltdowns we are trapped in our grief.

I don't know how to get your family to accept your autism, but the fact that grief is experienced differently by everyone should be enough for their compassion. It's cruel that they don't recognise that for you.

THINKING PERSON'S GUIDE TO AUTISM

Autistic Grief Is Not Like Neurotypical Grief — THINKING PERSON'S GUIDE TO AUTISM

You see, every brain only has so much space in which to process information, and if a very large part of that is consumed with emotions, it

what it’s like to learn that you’re autistic as an adult.

“im a seed

and i’ve been sowed on to sand.

my whole life i’m raised as a crop seed, like my friends and family. so that’s what i believe i am.

but i can see them growing, and im still just a seed.

i just don’t fit in.

i wonder whats was wrong with me.

i start to think maybe i’m a bad seed, not meant to be successful.

When i turned 18 i was pulled into the ocean by the tide.

i’m panicking because i know i can’t survive out here alone. no one prepared me for this.

i get to the bottom of the ocean.

i realize this is reality. there’s nothing i can do about it. this is just adulthood.

i start to sprout.

the only way this is possible is if im actually a sea plant. but there’s no way. my parents would have told me.

but i never was a crop seed.

i’ve always been sea weed.

i start to grow.

and i realize there was never anything wrong with me.

so now i know who i am, and i can live the rest of my life. happily, a sea weed.”

A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2):

Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.

The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion). Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2):

Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to per- form in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.

The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or dis- tress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neu- tralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive. Note: Young children may not be able to articulate the aims of these behaviors or mental acts.

"Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you."

Sorry, I can't even look TV characters in the eye. You're definitely not getting a free pass just because you're live.

No…no! I’m sorry!

Is it an autistic thing to get really attached to people and want to be their friend even if they don’t really like you

I was thinking about one time I was really annoyed that someone kept talking to me and confused because I didn’t know them but they were probably nd and Infodumping, but it was about my special interest at the time so idk why I would have been annoyed

Then I remembered I was talking to someone I really wanted to be my friend, and I started thinking about how sometimes I’ll really want someone to be my friend and resent it when other people want to talk to me when I’m trying to talk to that person

Is that an autistic thing or am I just really weird?

This could be related to your autism, mainly because we can struggle with understanding the correct pathway to friendship.

This can lead to several erroneous thought patterns, including:

Anyone who is nice to me is a friend

Anyone who I deem a friend is a friend

Taking over a game/conversation etc is how I make them my friend

They are not allowed other friends or should not include them when they're with me

And many other bad thought patterns that come from logical thinking of how we think friendship should work. This nuanced dance around is not logical, so is ignored or bypassed.

Unfortunately, this can lead to us being labelled weird, bossy, rude, freak, r* word, and being ostracized before the ability to form a friendship can even occur.