Surrendering To Despair

Serial Experiments Lain (1998) Episode 2

Someone: Can you please stop repeating that movement/sound/phrase?

Me:

fairyclub

dead fairies

the worst part about ocd is no matter how much work you do, some days you just can’t get your brain off of a sticky loop of rumination

lain iwakura iconz !! for​ @ghostclout​ ^_< -☆

like / reblog and credit if you uze or zave ♡

Still thinking about how there aren't any other reasons to explain how desperate Boscha appears to be wanting Amity by her side other than a pent-up affection.

Like, “Girl, I know you've been wanting Amity to join you, but do you really need to go full yandere?”. As she implied that, despite the rest of the others leaving, if they were both together everything would be more than resolved. Amity literally left all possible evidence that she no longer wanted to be friends with Boscha, left for another realm for months, in the meantime Boscha became practically a female and school Belos, and when both, after all that, end up meeting again, Boscha acts as if Amity is the only essential piece missing from her. There is simply nothing and no one that convinces me that Boscha wouldn't want to be in Luz's shoes. By the way, what is this?

Are you really that desperate to take a bite of that Blight?...I mean, I don't judge.

list of cognitive distortions

Cognitive distortions are biased and negative thinking patterns not based on fact or reality. They impact how we see ourselves/others and are usually associated with depression, anxiety, or trauma. (Note: this list was given to me by my therapist and is not my original writing.)

All-or-nothing thinking — You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

Overgeneralization — You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

Mental filter — You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.

Disqualifying the positive — You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

Jumping to conclusions — You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. A) Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out. B) Fortune telling: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.

Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization — You exaggerate the importance of things (such as a goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or other people’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”

Emotional reasoning — You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are. “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

Should statements — You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn’t, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct “should” statements towards others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

Labeling and mislabeling — This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to them. Mislabeling involved describing an event with language that is emotionally loaded.

Personalization — You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.

awhile back i mentioned a loose spiritual sequel to a loose spiritual sequel to the "enlove" story i wrote, and here it is, along-with the draft of a VN script i never finished, + some art (for the VN) by henrietta (pictured), + some of my notes from church

demon5equal10birth5day3equal8.substack.com/p/gracecon-and-hospital-cold

chiho saitou’s revolutionary girl utena || さいとうちほの『少女革命ウテナ』