aakritisitaulaa

Latest Posts by aakritisitaulaa

— v, from “excerpt from a book i will never write” (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

Whole New World

@taylorswift do you know me enough to miss me?

"so where are you if not in my mind"

excited for the life i am going to live.

things are getting better. change is scary but not more than staying in the same place forever.

~august/fictionflaws

When Celine in before sunrise said, “I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away.”

When Praveen Shakir said, “sabse nazar bacha ke wo mujhe kuch aise dekhta, ek dafa toh ruk gai gardish-e-mah-o-sal bhi.”

And Jaun Elia said, “Jab uska deedar hota hai, dil ko sukoon milta hai, Aankhon me uski tasveer sajti hai, yaadon ka ghar ban jata hai”

And Faiz Ahmed Faiz said, “teri surat se hai aalam me baharo ko sabaat, teri aankhon k siwa dunia me rkha kya hai”

Change, Strange.

                                                    Untitled

I’ll not love you in songs,

My love will be shown to you by writing poems on your name.

Sports aren’t something I’m keen about,

But for sure I’ll gaze at you as most beautiful prize while you watch your favourite game.

I wonder if you’ll know how love is shown in books,

Would you be able to see me beyond my appearance, my looks?

In this field of affection I’m a beginner,

Getting your presence in my life will make me the most successful winner.

I’m just an unsolved puzzle with no clues,

But I can promise to cheer you up whenever you’re feeling blue.

I would love to become the reason behind your smile,

I don’t desire for big gesture but holding your hands through every aisle.

I wonder if it would be like fairy tales.

But wait, if Romeo-Juliet is your favorite rom-com then we might not click,

Because I grew up listening tales about Ram-Sita, Radhe-Krishn, Muna-Madan which makes you lovesick.

I could not give you expensive gifts to keep or wear,

 All I have to offer is affection, admiration, respect, trust, and care.

Books-of-insecurities

Bitter expectation

I kept my door open

Hoping you’ll come by

Hoping you’ll notice how my eyes rained

Hoping that you’ll ask what happened

Hoping you won’t buy my lie

I kept my door open

With a burning believe inside

That you’ll stop by my side

Thinking you’ll comfort me while I mewl.

I kept my door open

Trying to comprehend if I was right?

Lingering till midnight

Stacking up coldness from January wind

Deceiving myself that it'll be my last try

I kept my door open

Well-known that it’ll all become a waste

Knowing that I should leave the rest

I kept my door open even after knowing how bitter expectation taste.

YOU ARE PRETTY

WILL THIS END WITH ME ?

fall for me.

Hanif Abdurraqib, A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance

{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}

the world, so shallow for some and for remains, a beautiful home.

~august/fictionflaws

Mary Oliver, from "Serengeti”, House of Light

Hey, where are you from?

Hiii. I am from Jhapa, Nepal.

my heart, buried in the woods of anguish and forlorn. the restless game, should i keep it in or let go? in the labyrinth of tears i lost the battle. my mind, weeps in solitude impotent of surviving. blabbering to stars and staring into space. my body, covered in blood of my assassinated soul. cuts and bruises bleeding wounds what keeps me alive? a speck of hope.

~august/fictionflaws

Clarice Lispector, tr. by Ronald W. Sousa, The Passion According to G.H.

watching movies is my top favourite thing to do.

One day

One day someone is going to love this When I'm in the kitchen on a Friday night Smiling for the first time in weeks Bare feet dancing to the Mamma Mia soundtrack Doing dishes by hand because The machine broke and I'd rather suffer Than call someone to fix it Singing along until I remember the window is open And my voice is broken

One day someone is going to love this The way I write bedtime stories to myself In which I am the hero or At least someone who is seen So that when I finally dream I feel like I am an actor And not just the screen

One day someone is going to love this The pile of books on my nightstand Post-its marking my favorite pages The covers collect dust from time to time But my refusal to move them is final You never know when you might need them

One day someone is going to love this The bruises all over my legs My mind doesn't always see doors or tables through its daydreams 

One day someone is going to love this They're going to fall for all that I am Not just the parts I put on for show They're going to see everything And then choose to stay

One day someone is going to love this And I won't settle for anything less

there was a room in my house

which was as secured as

the main door

i wasn't allowed to go

neither i had keys.

but every time i passby that room

it called me inside, cried for help

i was just 7

each night i went there

sat infront of the door

i talked with it, we talked for hours

it was 3 AM now.

i want to bed.

when i woke up, i was 14

i remember nothing

except for talking with that room

it was a normal day

but house was different and

noone was concerned

then i remembered

i opened that door next day after i woke up

~august/fictionflaws

Franny Choi, The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On

Claudia Rankine, Citizen

TODAY I'M 19.

when i turn off the lights

I'll not run but stand there

so the ghosts can take me

and wipe away my tear

oh how i dare to be that

i should be scared instead

but that's not me

and i will rather choose be dead

when the ghost comes near

i will ask it something

are you real.?

or are you too pretending.?

"i am too heartless", I'll say

but with skin and bones

and you're void darkness

like everyone knows

yet i could feel you shivering

just as frightened as me

you and i are no different

we are tied, even when we're free

~august/fictionflaws

i have a monster with me. i have kept the darkness locked inside. the fear of surviving in this world is more deeper than the fear of this monster that lives within me. i am more scared to live than to die. i don't want this monster to leave, it kept me alive. i just wish i could feel alive again and not let it feed on my soul. this world is as cruel from under as beautiful it is from above. let me escape this world and run somewhere where there's no sign of existence of mankind.

~scream of my soul

-august/fictionflaws

🦇 Starry Night x Halloween by Aja Trier 🦇

there's always something i hide, something i whisper to myself at middle of the night.

-august/fictionflaws