95 posts
Latest Posts by alwaysseeking123 - Page 2
It’s sad to think I’ve grown so used to this by now..I’m used to waking up wishing I was dead..I’m used to hating food.. I’m so used to hating every inch of myself.. I’m used to hating this family.. I’m used to being used like a lap dog..I’m used to crying alone at night.. I’m used to being left alone and abandoned.. I’m used to being worn down until I’m completely burnt out.. I’m used to being the ugly one. The fat one. The retarded one.the annoying one.the worthless good for nothing fuck up no one wants...I’m used to thinking of ways to kill myself..I’m used to wishing a I was dead... I’m so used to it all..that there are weeks I won’t cry while wanting to slice myself apart..that I don’t think I could exist any other way...it’s sad to think I’m so used to this disgusting existence...
It would be so much better if I wouldn‘t be here. I‘m a burden, a problem no one fucking needs me. I‘m weak and fail at everything. I don‘t know where the point is. I can‘t to this anymore. It‘s all too much. I hate myself for everything. I wish I was never born. It hurts so to write this but I have never been so low in my life.
You don’t understand, I don’t want any of it anymore. I don’t want happiness or love or success or anything. I need to stop living because that’s the only thing that can make my pain go away. So no, you telling me to wait for good things doesn’t work. Don’t you get it, no matter what happens, it’s always going to hurt.
“I’m difficult.”
—
“Being emotionally neglected all your life is so damaging in so many ways.”
—
I’m thinking of reasons why I liked you. It’s because I didn’t think bad about myself when I was talking to you, I didn’t have the urge to cut when I felt your touch on my skin, when I saw your smile and heard your laugh I felt like everything was going to be okay. You were the perfect distraction and now I have nothing…
~ via @missblack22
"Everyone tells me to stay strong. But I've got nothing to hold on".
Secrets, "Lost Cause"
i am a mistake. i am a complete mistake. i am the regret that people confront. i am a complete waste of time. i ruin peoples lives without ever intending to. this is who i am.
Growing up neglected can mean you don’t feel like you get to be picky about who gives you attention or what kind of attention you even get, you cling onto anyone who acknowledges your existence and it can end up so painful
“It’s sad, isn’t it? You grow up thinking that love is some wonderful force that will somehow fix everything wrong in the world. You were taught fairytales and happily ever after’s and about princes and princesses. But no one ever told you that love hurts more often than not. No one tells you the pain of unrequited love or the crying at three in the morning, wondering why you weren’t enough. No one told you the harsh reality of letting go when all you wanted to do was hold on. No one told you the absolute torture of watching someone slowly fall out of love with you. Because no one wants to admit that something that was thought to be so beautiful could go so wrong.”
— The Poetic Boy
“Have you ever tried to have a good time or just tried to distract yourself but then suddenly you feel the sadness in your chest coming back and every second it gets heavier and even if you try to hold it back but you never win. So you‘re just there feeling how you slowly get empty again. This makes me want to appreciate those little moment of happiness no matter how long they last because sadness is always ready to take it away.”
— The Poetic Boy
Everyone I've ever known has left me,
I've been left and abandoned and neglected
Like a hurt stray puppy on the side of the road
Was I not good enough? Or did they just never realise? Did I do something? They don't have to stay obviously. No one does. But why?
I don't blame them. I don't. I wouldn't stay for me either.
Can I just be enough for someone? Please. Can someone just stay? I don't know how much more abandonment I can take.
“Do you ever miss someone so bad, you break down and bawl your eyes out, because you are having a really hard time right now and that person is the only one on this planet who can make you feel better but you don’t want to bother them. So all you can do is break down and cry.”
—
I’m a background character in everyone’s life. I’m not important to anyone. I don’t even matter.
Relatable.
(stolen from Instagram)
“Before you can love someone else, you must first love yourself.“ Bullshit. I loved you till the bottom of my heart. And while loving you, I had these fresh selfmade cuts on my body.”
— fightingborderline
I’m nothing special. I’m fat; I’m ugly; I don’t have any talents; I have a bad character; I don’t have any friends, I’m nothing.
sorrythisisallicanbe
I’m not good enough.
I ask myself this all the time.
