Can Someone Baby Me Please For The Love Of God

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So my friend asked her 7 year old niece how can she be sure that her crush likes her back and her niece answered "Because we laugh together." I will be thinking about this for the rest of my life.

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

the spirit is not willing and the flesh it is not so into the idea either

adding onto Library Quotes Out Of Context

"are you kidnapping minors without me?!"

(this is a university campus, there are no minors of any kind present)

You overhear weird conversations in the library, I was just minding my own business when I heard this one guy say to his girlfriend:

“Are you gonna shove that child into that duct?”

There were no children present, or ducts of any kind.

i got to read a poem written by the person i love and ive never been happier

i had started doing these on my old blog but lets start it up again (because im dedicated to this list)

shit i heard in the halls at school

(pt 1)

*male voice* "THATS MY TITTY AMBER"

boy1: *runs at the other* "ImMa gEtCha ImMa gEtcHa"

boy2: *panicked noises and running away"

"I have a headache and life if meaningless but at least I finished my geometry homework'

"well sorry I don't want my first kiss to be with nasty-ass mcmono"

"would you cut off your balls? *then again, more intense* but would you cut off your balls???"

"hey *random boy* what's your opinion on boobs?"

"do you wanna try my shoe on?"

"now *that's* a DM to send to your girlfriend"

"YOU DREW ME AS MEGAMIND????????"

"thanos corn dog"

this is the current mood yall

*gets a metal pole*

Gonna beat that anons ass.

I STARTED THE MOVEMENT OF REALIZNG THAT ANON IS FUCKED I HAVE AN ARMY BEHIND ME GRRRRRR

COME OUT YOU FILTHY SLUT SO I CAN GET YOUR ASS BANNED

*sit on the sofa and watch you all run after each other * ...meow

I am a pirating god. i can pirate anything. friend of mine came to me looking for a dutch movie that came out four days ago, i found that shit in 4k, english dub, with optional diagetic subtitles. people come to me for their textbooks BEFORE checking if theres a link in their syllabus because i can find the pdf faster online. i just found my psych textbook in like fourteen seconds. call me blackbeard

shoutout to friends btw. best thing earth has to offer