AFFIRMATIONS:

in the year of our lord 2024

my roommate will always apologize when their side of the room is messy and theyll never believe me when i say i dont mind but its so human? and theyre so beautiful? and who cares about a little mess when someone so lovely is in my life? and people just living and being human is so good and underappreciated?

fish want me women divorce me

“I’m an evil, mean lesbian” says the very fragile, sensitive lesbian

i used to love jokes about canes/crutches users referring to them as their additional legs. but THIS IS NO JOKE ANYMORE.

i almost feel every step of my cane. my wrist? i feel it's more of like my knee. what do you mean i have two legs? no, i have three. yes, third one starts at my shoulder, why?

oh, i need two free hands for something... *sarcastic thought* yeah let me just pull out my second arm. *realizing i actually do have a second arm* oh well...

sometimes i just don't realize i'm holding a cane. i don't realize i can stop holding it. my fingers are glued to the handle, thanks for asking.

today, i was sitting down and thought that i needed to re-tie my shoe laces. i made knots tighter on first shoe. second shoe. then i got puzzled because where's the third shoe.

yes it IS my third leg now. she's adopted.

Visceral is EASILY top ten words that feel good as fuck to place precisely into your essay one glorious time

i need a taigen and zuko crossover ep mote than i need oxygen

shit i heard in the halls at high school

(pt 5)

" he came in, threatening..." *long pause* " ..lives"

"salad without eggs is like communism"

"i wish my bf was a boy scout so he could tie me up like that"

"i was singing tacones rojos-" "you weren't singing it right"

"straight bi or otherwise keep your hands off other men's thighs"

"my favorite part about easter break was bullying seven year olds"

"a Tootsie roll with red flags"

"now they do buy 2 get one free vasectomy"

"I didn't know what to write so i wrote the plot to sherlock in Spanish"

"awww i can't download tin- wait sorry i was thinking about tits"

the spirit is not willing and the flesh it is not so into the idea either