Yes I Suffer From APD (angelic Personality Disorder)

210325

Update: I went to the casting but I don't think I got in. They made us walk and nothing more, no chitchat, just writ your name age and contacts, walk in front of the panel, then give the paper with the details and leave.

Well, unless you were given back the paper with a tick added to it, and then you're measured and taken pictures of Infront of everyone — and as you've probably guessed by now, I wasn't part of the latter 😬.

I'll just send pics to agencies via dms, emails, and website applications.

160525

Today I went to the mall, got groceries, and got a cheescake n milk for myself to indulge in 😼, so I sat at the benches and ate to my fill, it was like a solo date honestly, I did sudoku, I drew half-heartedly yet felt full, and read abit. Came back home, cleaned my room, made myself an avocado milkshake, danced to some tunes and I'm watching YOU as I type this. Now I'm going to stretch, take a shower and tuck myself into my freshly made bed :3.

240525

143 - I Love You.

130325

I NEED TO MAKE A BD GIFT FOR SOMEONE HELP😃😭 BIRTHDAY IS IN 3 DAYS BUT STILLLLLLL, I'M THE TYPE TO GIFT HANDMADE STUFF💔💔BUT I CANT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT WHAT TO CREATE

Today was boring, oh but the shower I took hit different today for some reason, went out of the house in like a month, if you don't count the market visits (those are in my circle so it's no different and feels home)

I look at this pic when I feel sad and remember how it tasted.

OH EM GEE WAIT, YOU KNOW THAT GUMBALL SOUND GOING VIRAL RIGHT NOW, I KEEP LAUGHING MY AHH OFF WHEN I SEE VIDEOS USING THE SOUND

I CANT STOP LAUGHING HELP MEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

EVEN GUMBALLS ACTUAL FACE IN THAT EPISODE TAKES ME OUT 😭😭😭

190525

Guys the CRAZIEST thing happened to me today... I PAINTED😨😱

I know you're like, huh??. But like I really dislike using color or paint to do faces, I've been forever loyal to pencil and charcoal. Ive only use acrylic to paint 3 abstract pieces which is impressive considering I also dislike abstract works but I had to force myself to get rid of the impostor syndrome 😍.

Anyway so I made myself countdown from 5, so that I could immediately get out of bed and do something. I was thinking of painting but then I was like ehhh, but then I told myself 'NAH IN 5 SECS YOU GET TF UP!!!' so I did.

The butterfly effect is real, coz what if I didn't get up to paint...then I would've never found out that I am ridiculously good at painting for someone who hasn't EVER painted portraits before, and has only been obsessing over old art masters.

I can't believe that this is the FIRST go, and I'm just that good at it, despite THE FACT THAT I NEVER PRACTICED painting 😭

I'd stay FAR away from even ATTEMPTING to go thru trail and error with paints 😭. But youre telling me I'm just a pro like that 👏even if all I do is use pencil and look at my black n white portraits...

This is your sign to do something so freaking random, you'll never know, maybe you're talented at it 😌

how to isolate and grow⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

quick disclaimer : when i say "isolate" i dont mean the negative connotation of self isolation where you push everyone away, i mean the laying back and rly focusing and tapping into urself BY yourself.

accessibility : limit people's accessibility to you, or narrow down how many people you allow to access you. ur energy is SACRED ur time is a privilege. its important that ur no longer looking for outlets in people.

during this time of stepping back and being super picky with how and who u spend ur time with its the perfect opportunity to separate urself from the toxicity that some people in ur life might bring. in that same breath, its easier said for friends then it is for family members because when u think isolation ur probably thinking of being a home-body which is a part of it. but if ur home is whats making u sick then try and spend time AWAY of the home to do whatever u need to do.

self awareness and responsibility : take a moment and be truly objective with urself. practice having the difficult conversations with urself. u know ur goals, but are u the person that can have those goals? and if not, how can u get to become that person.

this is also the time to address things that you've been sweeping under the rug. address anything thats starting to become a problem and address bigger problems in ur life. we wanna be able to take responsibility for ourselves and PROBLEM SOLVE. be super clear on what u wanna focus on during ur self isolation period and WHY you are choosing to do this.

find a mentor : find someone who resonates with you, whether it be online or in person, who is living the life that YOU wanna live or living a life similar to one that u wanna live. u dont have to have just one mentor, it can be multiple mentors for different aspects of ur life that u wanna improve. ur mentors dont even need to know you honestly, just someone u look up to

detox ur brain : mental diet. mindset is EVERYTHING as you know if you've been consuming my content lately. everything and i mean EVERYTHING begins in the brain. the thoughts that u think today will be what u experience tomorrow. speak to urself nicely, throw away old thoughts that dont align with ur dreams and replace them with positive ones thru repetition, fixed attention and practice

do brain dumps before u go to bed, its good to get out all of the thoughts in ur head before u go to sleep, out of ur brain and onto a piece of paper or something else in general. it doesn't have to be in a negative connotation either, write down ideas that pass thru ur head, goals, inspirations etc.

clean out : anything that u tend to cling to, whether its devices, drugs, drinking etc. practice fasting from it. it doesn't have to be extreme, just taking a break from it REGULARLY will improve it so much. an analogy i like to use for gradual change like this is with a rubber band. if u stretch the rubber band as far as it can go too quickly then it'll break, however if u gradually stretch the rubber band little by little, you can stretch it super far and it won't break.

experimentation : while ur self isolating this is the perfect opportunity to experiment with ur physical. dye ur hair a color that you've always been wanting it to. grow ur hair a couple inches, take extra good care of ur skin, experiment with different clothing styles. become ur own MUSE.

with that being said i wish everyone luck and blessings as you isolate and grow 🫶🏽

200225

Day 3 no WiFi, been using my data sparsely kill me rn💔I just wanna go and watch YT coding tutorials for hours don't do this to me 💔

Look at my lunch tho 🥲

7/10 day, pay for the WiFi plzzzz💔😭

Tell me why it's 1 AM, and I just made pancakes for breakfast in advance while listening to this song on repeat. Even as I eat one pancake on my bed, I am still listening to this ear candy.

170425

Laundry day, cleaning day, shopping day today. Started watching 'when life gives you tangerines', and gosh do I love IU.