REFERRING TO YOURSELF AS I DURING SELF TALK ISNT NORMAL!?! Huh

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

Nd culture is having to say "Sorry but I don't have the energy to care today" when friends bring up heavy topics cuz you used all your spoons on other activities.

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What if I just started going by a different name and pronouns and had different likes and ideas and memories and opinions and presented differently and acted differently... but like I'm still me though... no I'm not a system at all...

I’m genuinely sobbing this is awful and amazing at the same time

Traits of Autism in girls

As observed by Tania Marshall. My older daughter and I fit this well, though it fits her a bit better because I really matched a lot of the original Autism profile based more on how it presents in boys.

A surprising number of people are pissed off by the very fact that anyone makes a distinction between the presentation of Autism in females versus males. But it’s frequently overlooked in girls simply by virtue of how girls are raised or treated in society, or simply due to the fact that they’re girls and are frequently (though not always) hardwired differently (as opposed to my case where I fit a large amount of the original profile).

This is a long list but the gist of it is that girls tend to appear more social due to mirroring others or being encouraged to be more social. Inability to do so is often dismissed as shyness. Diagnosticians I’ve met have used that alone to dismiss a diagnosis of Autism, and I have to assume this is a frequent practice.

Keep reading

BPD culture is crying your eyes out at 1am because you can't understand why it feels like everyone around you hates you or why you feel like a terrible person even though everyone around you says you aren't.

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making some fnv companion charms involving cute little plushies so i thought id give you guys a small itsy bitsy teeny sneak peek bc im super excited about them and really like how theyre turning out so far <3

Very very rare

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