I Am Going To Freak Out! And Not In A Way Anyone Finds Endearing Or Relatable

is anyone else scared or is it just me and every deer

Posts that are so VALShrue. to me.

Free my woman she did all of it but I don’t care

I'm on some kind of gayass journey

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

ohhh. ok, got it (doesn’t get it). wait what? Oooohhhhhhhhh okay!! (still doesn’t get it)

notice how linkedin isn’t on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

Sorry babe, the thigh garter holding my daggers stay on during sex

Isn’t it so great to be the most beautiful person in the world? not that you would know cause it’s me but can you imagine?

"this meeting could've been an email" but instead it's "this ship war could've been a threesome"