“they Were Flirting With You” And How Was I Supposed To Know Such A Thing When Everyone Speaks In

My pronouns are fuck/that and I identify as a problem.

aside from being the worst person alive i am literally perfect

ohhh. ok, got it (doesn’t get it). wait what? Oooohhhhhhhhh okay!! (still doesn’t get it)

"this meeting could've been an email" but instead it's "this ship war could've been a threesome"

yeah i'm a false prophet but you believed me so whose fault is it really that we're in this mess

you want to be romantically attracted to someone? the thing that killed romeo and juliet?

no matter how insecure or shitty you feel, just remember that my muscles are massive and i can punch through walls

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

"Are you good in bed?" No, I can't sleep.

stop glorifying people who aren’t me