*calls You Captain In A Gay Way*

they call me "mr lack of understanding" for reasons that are somewhat unclear to me

“who hurt you” me dude I’m fucking dumb

yeah your ship may have kissed but did they try to kill each other?

damn girl what those claws do? destroy? thats awesomeeee i love it

guy after having a completely normal social interaction: i made things weird again and they hate me

your honor i was just furthering the plot

You keep sending assassins after me but I kiss every one of them on the lips so sweetly

women are really hot. did you guys know this

it is what it is. and I don't know what it is

rememeber. when nothing is wrong you can make it wrong. the power is yours to make the situation as terrible as possible. dont give in to the situation. change the outcome. from neutral to worst. be the worst case scenario you want to see in the world. i believe in you.