Same Tbh!!

yes I'm now on the other side of top surgery and I'm allowed to lift things again 💪 You might have already seen this one on my substack -- did u know you can subscribe to my substack for early access to comics like this?! Sent directly to your email inbox??? FOR FREE????? (there is also an optional paid tier for exclusive bonus content for five bucks a month but like 80% of my posts will be free and publicly available) ty ily♥

I kinda feel like I kind of grew up like this:

Little kid (kinda gender neutral childhood, I didn't feel pressured to be anything. I looked like a little girl, but my childhood was more masculine kinda) -> hell™️ (puberty, first E puberty hopefully I'll have my T puberty soon!) -> purgatory (my current stage, waiting to move out and start my life.)

I was very detached from femininity most of my life; I have and had masculine hobbies and interests, stuff like that, but it's like I was cursed to grow up in a body that didn't suit me.

It kinda feels like I was not a female-looking and feeling person until my puberty.

Hope this made sense!

The trans FTM experience of not knowing how to feel about your detachment from femininity and growing up a woman

It's such a mervyn peake dead rat poem morning

One of the poems ever.

Dude (if that's okay to say) I literally went down the same path as you. I thought I was only okay with gender neutral descriptors, but I was lying to myself kinda (by kinda I mean it was a step in the right direction, but not right still), I really didn't want to be a man and I still do not know why. I went "cis" -> demigirl -> nonbinary -> demiboy -> trans man.

Then when I discovered male terms for myself it just kinda clicked. I was uncomfortable calling myself a man, still kinda am tbh because I look incredibly fem and there's nothing I can do about it, but once I grew into them and started calling myself a guy/man/boy etc. I got used to it more and more and now I'm not okay with being called anything else.

You don't have to be a trans man to be transmasc, you don't have to be a man if you don't want to, but you may start liking it like I did.

How do you feel about he/him in general? For me, I thought they/them felt right but then I thought about it and tested it out in sentences and it wasn't as right feeling as he/him. The only times I've been called "August" and "he/him" in public was at the mental hospital, but it filled me with a joy that's hard to describe.

How would you describe your dysphoria? For me, I thought I just wanted a flat chest and short hair, but then I realized I wanted male features all over, and didn't really want to be androgynous. I was drawn to FTM bottom surgery in particular, and that is and still is my main goal. I used to just think it was cool, but now I realize I want it.

I could test out some names and pronouns in a sentence if you'd like!

Sorry if this wasn't helpful or didn't make sense, sometimes I spill words out that don't quite make sense.

I just need to get this off of my chest, so here i go. Ive been out as nonbinary for almost 10 years (since i was 14) but over the past year ive started to Wonder if i might actually just be a man(meaning i would be trans ftm) and i dont know what to do with this information. I have friends that i know would support me (obvi since they support me as enby) but im so sceard of being a man. I hate the thought of calling myself s man or being called it by someone, but i love being called things like uncle or son. And my dysphoria (which has always been bad) has gotten so much worse over the past months too.

Idfk what to do about this. Any advice would be apriciated.

NORMALIZE loving horror movies but also NORMALIZE covering your eyes during them because you are a SCARED LITTLE FREAK

(Just watched The Fly i loved it but uh, hoo boy)

I'm autistic, mentally ill and take SSRI's. I may be fucked I fear.

I hate RFK with my whole soul, and my grandparents still love the guy and the rest of trump's goons.

Hmmm. I wake up to hear RFK suggesting we ban all SSRI mental health medications and send the mentally ill, autistic, asthmatic, and obese people to government run “Wellness Camps” for 3-4 years each.

Huh…. So he wants to “concentrate” the population of sick people in camps where they will work in the outdoors.

Because that fixes autism? All because he believes, with no scientific basis, that these conditions are caused by vaccines. Since President Musk says he has autism I wonder if he will be in a camp, too?

How long will it take to come up with a final solution to that problem…

Dark room shower supremacy ‼️

I live in -misery- (missouri) and i dont think I can ever move so that’s fun. Illinois is so fucking close but I can’t move there!! Help me!!

For my Americans out there, here is a map with the safest states for trans folk. These are the states that have the most laws in place to specifically protect trans people.

Maryland is currently the safest, here is an article about it.

t.co

Maryland Governor Declares Maryland A Trans Sanctuary State

Maryland is the 12th state to enact policies that refuse compliance with out of state laws that target transgender people. Governor Wes Moor

Starting a diary series! I'm starting today hope I stick with it lol