averagemythosenjoyer
I write. Play game. Read necronomicon. Normal human activites.Pfp and banner are not mine.
35 posts
Latest Posts by averagemythosenjoyer
What happens if I reject gender completely?
This post is for ladies only. If you are a guy, GET out of here.
I bestow upon you this dagger. It is an ancient dagger. Use it wisely.
...fine. I'll write, inspiration man.
You were the healer—the last light of your party. But now your final ally dies in your arms, and there’s no one left to save. The enemy jeers, calling you useless. You look up, eyes hollow and black. The light is gone. The Void answers. You're no longer a cleric. You're something far worse.
Happy Birthday Fish. I am sending you the beam attack of friendship. If you look to the sky, you will see it. Don't worry, it will not obliterate you.
wow :)
If you get run over by the popemobile and die, do you go straight to heaven?
Guys don't be fooled by Taco Tuesday, Lord Business is planning to Kragle everyone guys please listen I'm not crazy
Customer: "So you're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?" Waiter: "Yes Customer:"...compliments to the shref."
I've had deja vu before, but 2 nights ago, I had a LITERAL PREMONITION. I think it's getting a little out of hand...
I think it's kinda funny how Pinkie Pie has canonically fucked
Why aren't there more mangas like this? It would legit be so funny. "What's it like here?" "It's pretty cozy." "How do you make money?" "Try buying a slave." "A what?" "A slave." "And let me guess, women don't have rights either?" "I don't see a reason why they should?" "I'm gonna activate the strongest skill of my world." "A-And what's that?" "The peaceful protest."
the king has a large problem. The hero that was summoned thinks slavery is "a bad thing" and women "should have rights"
"Aww, da wittle baby has a sewvant fwom hell, I'm so pwoud of you"
You’re in the habit of repeating your baby’s gibberish back to them. Today, a portal opens in your sitting room, and a demon pops out saying, ‘yes, master?’
"I can change my future" mfs be like: "You will never amount to anythi-" "NUH UH"
Please do not read further
I've been infected with the game. If you lost because you read further, I'm sorry. Someone send me who started the game please I must know
Then God said, "Be fruitful and multiply." And the Bunnies and the Rabbits took that as a challenge.
The Eminence In Shadow Season 1 (Spoilers Ahead)
The Eminence in Shadow is the greatest thing I've ever watched. Everything about it is just so... perfect. These are exaggerations, but still. I love it. My favorite detail in the anime is the last episode, when Princess Rose goes to Alexandria. She's told to forget who she once was (or something similar), and is given the designation 666. In the credits that role while the episode is still playing out, Rose's name (IN THE CREDITS BTW) is changed to simply, "666". The attention to detail in this show is amazing. Totally watching season 2 as it comes out just like how i'm watching Bleach.
hate all the phrases that are sex-coded fr. The other day I was telling a friend “I just want more physical intimacy” and had to be like “fuck wait no” because I literally just want to be able to wrap my arms around my friends from behind and play with their hands or hair and have them come up behind me and tuck their chins over my head. “I want to sleep with you” but I literally mean I want to. Sleep. In the same bed. With you. Cuddling. Why is everything so difficult I am killing everyone
I've got some weird future sight or something and I get deja vu sometimes. It's become quite annoying.
Here's something I wrote, I guess.
(huge TW for themes of self doubt and general depression themes)
A man is trapped in his own mind. There are figures all around him. ‘Oh, it’s him.’ The figures seem to recognize the man. ‘I don’t like that guy’, ‘What is HE doing here?’, ‘Uninvited guest, much?’ The worst has yet to happen, yet the man is already covering his ears. He’s been through this before, a million times just about every day. ‘Everyone! The LOSER has arrived!’ They all start laughing. ‘He’s so fat!’, ‘He’s ugly!’, ‘He stinks like a garbage bin!’ The man is still knelt, desperately covering his ears to block them out, but it is futile. Their voices go directly into his brain, seeping into every crack and crevice. ‘This guy’s personality is just as stinky as his body!’ All the voices merge together, yet are all audible separately. DISAPPOINTING. This word is heard throughout the space. All the voices stop, making way for this one powerful one. I’M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WITH YOUR LIFE. Tears start flowing down the man’s cheeks, and dripping down into the endless unknown. WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE? WHAT’S YOUR PLAN? The man, angered, stands up and yells. “I’M GONNA GET A JOB, GET A GIRL, AND LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE! AND I CAN’T DO THAT WITH YOU HERE! SO JUST… leave me alone…” He falls back to his knees. This statement is followed by silence. THAT’S IT? DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH. YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SKILLS WHATSOEVER, YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH THE HOUSING MARKET, AND A GIRL??? A GIRL??? There’s a moment of silence befor- BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A GIRL? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I’ll ANSWER FOR YOU! NOTHING. THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE. FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT. YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING. YOU’LL HAVE TO GET THERE OVER MY DEAD FUCKING BODY. The man then vanishes, finally free of his own mind. NOTHING! YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING! JUST GIVE UP! The man is still not free of the voices. He knows not when they’ll leave, nor if they even will. But even still, he holds out hope.
If humans are so good, why isn't there humans 2?
Monkeys within the next billion years:
I'm no longer posting fandom-related content here, that's what my ao3 is for for the 2 people that care. I will be posting non-fandom content here still
I love how many manhwas/manhuas are set in like, 2023, 2022, 2021. Like I also want to die a tragic death in the front lines against monsters fighting for the whole world while the friends I made along the way cry over my dead body. Like I know I died, but I died for mankind and I have people who cherished me along the way because every person helped free us from this horrible reality.
Another cosmic horror thing for you
I wake up to the same jarring alarm that wakes me up every day. I turn it off, grab my clothes, and take a shower. Just like yesterday, I picked a short sleeve white shirt, and a pair of khakis. After that, I eat breakfast. I put on my no-sleeve light brown leather jacket. I put on my shoes, grab my keys, and leave my house. As I’m getting in my car, I hear a deep Canadian voice come from a few feet behind me.
“You gonna dig more today or study bones?” The voice says. It’s my neighbor.
“No, I’m exploring ruins today, Marcus! Nice guess though!” I answer back.
“Good luck! Make sure not to run into something that’ll haunt you, Alex!” He jokes.
“Not sure how to do that, but alright! See ya later!” I reply, then close my car door, start it up, and drive to the site.
I arrive at the site and get out of my car. ‘No other cars? Must’ve arrived before everyone else.’ I think. I walk down the sloped ground and arrive at the doorway to the ruins, although it’s missing a door. ‘I guess I’ll go in before everyone else.’ I take out my flashlight and proceed into the ruins. In front of me is a spiral staircase that goes down. I proceed down, and eventually end up at the base of the stairs. I shine the flashlight down the straight hallway, but the light doesn't reach the end. ‘The architecture of this place is impressive, but the Egyptians produced impressive architecture too, so I'm not surprised.’ I start walking down, checking the walls as I go. Eventually, I see what looks to be a cave painting on the left wall, though I can tell it wasn’t made by cavemen. It shows stick figures missing their torsos happily playing what look like instruments. I walk further and find another painting. This is the same picture, this time with an added figure with a sword with what looks to be furrowed brows, except it’s actually two lines on its head that are pointed down at each other. I continue down, and come across a third. Now there are a bunch of guys with swords chasing the guys with instruments. The next one pictures what appears to be a serpent without a tongue or eyes eating the guys with swords, with part of the painting smeared beyond recognition. The last one pictures the guys that were playing instruments now bowing before a bigger figure with long twin pigtails and wearing a skirt, though the skirt was just a rhombus. ‘That kinda looks like Hatsune Miku, but that’s probably just pattern recognition.’ I think. ‘I’m totally posting this though.’ I took a picture of the painting with my phone, then turned to continue down the hallway. Suddenly, I felt an intense terror I had never felt before. I immediately booked it back down the hallway and up the stairs, but the terror, instead of lessening, turned into a more primal kind of terror, and intensified. I finally made it out, but didn’t stop running. I kept running until I got behind the nearest car. After I calmed down, I heard a feminine southern voice from above me.
“Ya gonna let me outta my car, Caldwell?” The voice asked. I got up and backed away from the car door, which I was previously blocking.
“Sorry about that, Isabel.” I apologized.
“It’s all fine. And that’s Reyes to you, Caldwell.” She insisted. “Why were you running like a crazed lunatic a second ago?”
“I went into the ruins before anyone got here. I just felt immense fear, so I booked it.” I explained
“Why would you go into the ruins alone?” She asked.
“I was curious about what could be in there.”
“Are you okay now?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I get out my phone and show her the picture of the painting. “Does this not look like Hatsune Miku?”
“It does look like Miku.” She says, slightly confused. I looked past Reyes’ car and noticed the rest of the archeologists huddled around the door.
“Get away from that!” I yelled while running towards them. I had felt something was off, and I was correct in my feeling. Not even 5 seconds after I started running, a strong wind came from the doorway to the ruins, and the people that were in front of it were blown back. One of them hit me, and I blacked out.
I woke up a minute after I blacked out. I sat up, and what I saw in front of me was something I couldn’t even begin to describe. I wouldn’t even want to try to, for fear of eternally scarring anyone else. I will say this though: the psychologically scarring… thing in front of me was, or rather had to be, hiding behind what I could easily understand was… Hatsune Miku. It was using Miku as a cover, I refuse to think otherwise. I saw Reyes run up to Miku and gush over her.
“Oh my god, Hatsune Miku! I love your music!” She says. ‘How does she not see it?’ I think. More people flock around Miku and start asking for autographs, pictures, the whole shtick. I snap myself out of my confusion and pick up my phone. The picture I had up had changed to a picture of Miku with the top caption ‘Go ahead and try’ and the bottom caption ‘They won’t listen’. I look back at Miku, terrified. Could the… thing be her? Miku finally breaks out of the crowd.
“I’m so happy to meet all of you, but unfortunately, I have to go.” She says. The small crowd that had gathered cheers for her as she leaves. Before she disappears from view, she looks back at me, notices the terrified expression still plastered to my face, and smiles before fully disappearing out of view. I look back at the ruins, but they’re gone.
Last night, I had a dream that there was a Hatsune Miku crossover event in Arknights, but instead of just playing the game to get the unit, you had to go to a Miku concert. Either that, or it was just a dream about me going to a Miku concert.
Can't sleep again
There’s something in my brain. Be it a worm, a parasite, nobody knows. It’s fairly quiet during the day, yet when the sun sets, it begins its activities. It activates my hippocampus and amygdala against my wishes. And worse, it constantly flexes and unflexes the muscles in my leg, causing my heart rate to constantly stay up just enough to prevent sleep. I cannot believe I have to live with this… thing, but unless I consume pills, I’m stuck with it. Thankfully, writing seems to get it going long enough to quiet it down, but I’m no writing wizard. One can only write so much before running out of ideas. Fortunately, it seems to have mostly halted its nightly activities, but I assure you I must fight this unending war until the day of my demise.
Woke up way too early and had motivation to write. Enjoy I guess.
There I stood at the ocean’s edge upon a firm boulder that seemed to have stood for centuries. I cry into the night, “I don’t understand. Why am I like this? Others can sleep, yet I am tormented and wake early in the morning before the sun even breaks the horizon.” I cry out to the ocean, not in fear or sadness, but grief. “Why?” I cry. “Why?” I break down in tears, for I have no answer. All that fills the night is the waves crashing blow the overhang and wails of confusion. A voice calls from the water. “Come,” it says, “and join us in the ocean’s depth.” I understand not why this call is being made, but in my desperate fit to understand, I stand back up slowly, and answer the call. I feel the air around me stir, as if ushering me in, and I hit the ocean’s surface. I fall deep into the sea, deep, deeper, yet deeper. Yet I feel no cold. Cold is the opposite of what I feel. Warmth. The ocean is warm, opposed to the usual cold of the night, as if it attempts to comfort me. And it is. As I sink deeper, a hum, seemingly from a woman, is echoing from the deep. It hums melodies of old, new, and of pasts unknown. I hit the ocean’s floor, yet I have not yet perished. In fact, I still breathe, even when faced with the ocean depth. The voice draws ever closer, yet it drifts away. The ground seems to fall from underneath me, and I with it. The voice seems ever near, yet also as if it may be on the other side of the planet. I am caught by something that may be a hand, yet it may also be a head. I do not know, and I dare not look. I am held by it, and my mind is slowly filled with the humming. It is no longer coming from far away, nor is it close. It’s so unbelievably loud, yet soft. I know not where it is coming from, yet I have no need to know. I am warm and comfortable, even more than being held in the arms of my own mother. Nothing matters anymore, and even I can understand that clearly. I am finally free from the shackles of the world, ever to dwell in the abyss. What abyss this is, no longer matters either. I am safe. I am home. I am free.
istg if i see ONE more FUCKING POLITICAL AD ACCOUNT on my for you i will LOSE IT
Probably bad boss idea
A really strong boss that's really difficult to beat. Typical "I really love fighting" type. When you beat the boss, they just lie there for a second. Then, melancholic yet hopeful music starts swelling. The boss slowly stands back up, grabs their weapon, and gets into their fighting stance. The music crescendos as it reaches it's climax. The second phase of the boss starts, but instead of a desperation phase or a stronger second phase, the boss is noticeably weaker and slower. As you fight them, the music slowly starts to lose the hopefulness, as the boss gets slower and weaker and they constantly lose heath. They are no longer fighting to stop you. They are no longer fighting for the joy of fighting. They are no longer fighting to kill you. They are fighting to prove to themselves that they still can. They are fighting because they don't want to acknowledge that they're hurt, that they've already lost, that they're going to die. They're fighting out of ignorance. Eventually, they're health bar drops to 15%, then 10%, then 5%. They stop, and drop their weapon. The music slowly starts to fade out, now fully melancholic. They have acknowledged that they're dying. They've acknowledged that you've won. They collapse, their body now lying there, motionless.