awkwerdnesspersonified

Latest Posts by awkwerdnesspersonified

Haikyuu motivation

To hate and not hate my Father

To hate and not hate my Father

Let’s be clear my dad and my Father are two different people, two souls in one flesh and yet so differently similar. My dad laughs at the most childish of jokes. My father hasn’t smiled at me in ages. my dad has cried in front of me and is open to care. My Father goes through days with a stoic line on his face. My Dad has names for me that show his love, overflowing. My Father calls my…

View On WordPress

Echo (Echo)

Nathaniel Orion G. K., March 2022

Person: call me

Me: has 34 panic attacks

Me: questions my existence

Me: nope (while having a meltdown)

Person: okay

Me starts feeling guilty

somehow his talks about all the cravings i have had or will have...but mostly it talks about how i crave for the touch that i can never have the way i used to.

“You still crave lemonade, but the taste doesn’t satisfy you as much as it used to. You still crave summer, but sometimes you mean summer, five years ago.”

— Alida Nugent

Someone just texted me randomly saying...NECROMANCY is the art of breathing life in dead...since you keep on saying you are dead inside, why not let me try in on you.

is this what first hand tumblr experience looks like

shrimpboys. crabgirls. is that anything

Do you ever have those days when all you want to do is read angst so that you can make yourself feel things for life has been too numb for to long.

Looking for some one who would help me commit crime brulees

so hot🥵

Best Friends to Friends to

Best Friends to Friends to

I went back to our old home, the dusty roads and broken gates, dying trees and new nests and the old shop light flickering. I stood by the park swing near the dry water fountain, is it strange that I can still hear mumbles and laughs in the air. I went down the road and saw the rusty red building, once called home because of all the highs and lows lived in it. I went in through the old gate…

View On WordPress

INTRODUCTION OF SORTS...

INTRODUCTION OF SORTS…

Hope is a new thing for those who have been lost too long. I am in love with my future but I am scarred of what it might become.— Me (high on some random happy moment which washed away too soon) This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates. Honestly I don’t know why I am even trying…

View On WordPress

The Story...

The Story…

I knew a boy,

little scared and little weird.

he knew a girl

little sad and little scared.

they sat together, wrote together

songs of distant past.

and that’s the story of …

he loved flowers

she loved stars

he would weave her hair

while she would fight the ants.

and that’s the story of….

she would put stones in her pocket

he would put buttons on dresses

View On WordPress

hey, are you listening?

hey, are you listening?

hey, are you listening ?

my walls keep on falling,

there’s a shadow on my head and I am afraid.

hey, are you listening ?

theres a hand on my window,

the floor keeps on shaking more and more and more…

hey, are you listening ?

I am running out of air,

I am one the floor, there’s a rattling in my bone.

hey, are you listening ?

I stopped breathing.

hey, are you…

View On WordPress

is this love?

it starts by listening to the same playlist on repeat,

its Finneas, Dean Lewis, Banners, followed by Benjamin, Grey

and a touch of sugar, spice and everything that peirce my heart.

I find myself wondering if the poems say it out loud

or the songs add the missing harmony

sometimes I find it in lines traced on old yellow pages

and at others in the random flowers pressed between…

View On WordPress

The up, The down and everything between.

The up, The down and everything between.

THE UP

Its like the wind on the summer evening,

playing with your hair and making you smile.

The night sky is full with stars,

you can see the constellations you read about,

when you were 13.

There is music playing, ‘Its good to be back, no longer alone”

Your curve upwards and you let out a breath

you never knew you were holding.

There is dust on your face, but you…

View On WordPress

letters

the last letter

View On WordPress

Covid-19 has taught me once again how I have been taking the simple joys of life for granted, like the road and sky on a calm and easy day.

I am falling.

So, what do I do on my free days?

I wake up late, search for a cup of coffee,

Make myself a plate easy breakfast and then

It’s a day of selfcare.

I think of the books to read and shows to watch

I lay down on the grass and look at the sky.

I paint my nails and I curl my hair

Then bunch them and use a ribbon to tie.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see

See a void but then it disappears

Then I think of having some tea

So, I put the pan up and sit on the chair

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

The water boils over

I feel all drunk

Even when I am sober

I am sitting and sitting and sitting

I can see the sun rise and set and rise and set

The clock tics toks tics toks tics toks and tics

And I lie on my bed and lie to my self

The void in me is rising and burning and singing

The void is hungry so, its eating

Eating me and the soul and the light

Selfcare maybe is lying in bed

Feel a little dead

But I just stay and stay and stay

Then there is the night and then the day

And then something clicks

I thinks the void is full, it had its share

It is going back in and there is this light

This light, a crack on the wall

I find myself standing tall

I look at the clock oh its been just four hours

But then my cell phone beeps

‘hey there you’ve been missing from the outside world for a week’

My eyes readjust, my mouth is dry

I reach for water, there is a pan with burnt tea leaves

There is a cup of coffee half drunk

I look into the mirror, there is ribbon tangled in my hair

Well I guess this is the end of a day of selfcare

and believe me, I can feel it in the air

I am falling again.

I Am Falling Again.

I Am Falling Again.

So, what do I do on my free days?

I wake up late, search for a cup of coffee,

Make myself a plate easy breakfast and then

It’s a day of selfcare.

I think of the books to read and shows to watch

I lay down on the grass and look at the sky.

I paint my nails and I curl my hair

Then bunch them and use a ribbon to tie.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see

See a void…

View On WordPress

Tony (sleep deprived) : Come on kid move aside we need to analyse the place.

Peter (half asleep) : Mr. Stark...what are you doing here...

Tony (moving way too fast) : working on your new lab what else....

Peter : Whhaaaatttttt

Tony : Yeah...move outta way...

Peter : Does Mrs. Potts know that you are in my apartment at 4 in the morning.

Tony (vibrating ) : *_*

690 Kilometer.

The distance between me and my past is not very large…690 km to be precise.

Did I run all the way here or rode some cloud of power I don’t remember?

Funny I ran so hard and so fast and I still find myself under.

Every morning I find something crumble…is it my soul, my mind or just another blunder caused because of my dropping eyes and my body aching to lay in a deep slumber.

The wind…

View On WordPress

All things ORANGE...

All things ORANGE…

Orange used to remind me of things that made my childhood fun…like the soda that coloured my tongue, the syrup on the ice but now it reminds me of the fire and pain that eats my country slowly.

The world’s burning, people are dying, animals becoming extinct, plants been uprooted like unwanted weed, and to be honest there is nothing in this world right now, that makes you feel safe. Believe me…

View On WordPress

THE END OF THE DECADE.

THE END OF THE DECADE.

The 2010’s are ending in six hours… the thing is that I have been contemplating about writing this article for like 10 hours, or ten days, a month. End of the decade it is and we can do nothing about it. The funny thing is that past ten years have been life changing for everyone because we all grew up, some of us started the decade as 18 year olds , some stared the decade as 10 year olds, some of…

View On WordPress

Coffee cups and half read paper backs...

Coffee cups and half read paper backs…

Have you ever thought about how some conversations just exists in a certain time frame? Have you ever wondered how some laughs just stay in the coffee cup ? Have you ever realized that certain parts of a novel you started reading make you look back at your life?

The thing is that we often are so lost in the day to day ordeal of life that we stop enjoying the small parts of this enormous life…

View On WordPress

Labyrinth of suffering...

Labyrinth of suffering…

So, I am not some very intellectual bitch, I don’t read philosophical books nor do I indulge deeply in the ideas of life and life after death. I read fiction, well because real life can be very underwhelming and it is in fiction that I find solace. The thing is that no matter how hard I try to forget a book and it’s ending; some things stick with you. The labyrinth of suffering is the part of…

View On WordPress

Snape: Miss Granger, pay attention or serve detention.

Hermione: Make me.

.

.

Draco: (in a distance) like one of my french girls.

Hermione: What

Draco: What

Snape: What

Hogwarts: What

DAYS IN YOUR LIFE.

Some days it feels like I am drowning in the same sea where i always go for a swim. Some days it feels like that the pain in my chest will kill me. Some days it feels like all hope that I held on to is not even real. Some days it feels like the monster under my bed is following me every where. Some days it feels like that the darkness has consumed me completely. Some days it feels like every set of eyes on the road is focused entirely on me. Some days it feels like nothing is worth living for. Some days it feels I don’t want to wake up from my slumber ever again, and yet every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and tell myself that “you will get through this, you will survive another day, you will live.”

Some days life may be a little more complex than other days but it does not mean that you give up.

One day you will realize that you are not the center of the world and that...is...okay.

someone who realized this long ago.

THE POST

ME: the day I join TUMBLR my first post is going to be funny and people will die laughing.

ALSO ME: (First day at Tumblr) I have no idea how to post anything. I am not funny. Why did i came to this site. I'll die alone.

This how English major torture people.

I’m going to make a new font called Times New Bastard