I Was Happy In The Haze Of A Drunken Hour But Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now

so yes he has a six year long total nervous breakdown over a divorce which does seem kind of unwarranted on the surface but the thing is that his breakdown wasn't just because of his fiance leaving him, it's because he's lived for four decades in this absolutely untenable state of being on the coattails of the revolution. the fact that dora even has the choice to pack up and fly away and leave behind the poverty and disability and addiction and misery and, as he imagines her saying, "leave him alone in hell forever" while he has no hope of ever leaving revachol or becoming anything more than what he is is what causes the breakdown just as much as her making that choice. and so that's why he sees her as dolores dei right, like yes it's because he deifies her but it's not just that, because dolores dei isn't just some ambiguous religious figure, she's specifically the innocence of moralism and the welfare state and interisolary travel. it's not dora that failed harry, it's the world that failed harry, and because dora was able to escape and moralism and the welfare state and interisolary travel were able to save her in a way they never saved him, he projects all the ways the world has failed him onto her. like harry has this breakdown because the woman he loved (rightfully) left him yes but also harry has this breakdown because he was born into poverty in a military hospital and he got polio as a child and never quite got better and all his childhood friends are dead of car accidents and drug overdoses and he's lived his entire life under a form of capitalism that allows for no self-determination, no political representation, no upward mobility. so when she leaves him it's not just a broken heart that does him in, it's the culmination of a lifetime of misery that he falsely blames her for because she was able to escape. you feel me. and that's why his breakdown is so insane and massive and disproportionate and that's why he sees her as god you feel me. like love did him in but capitalism killed him. right

i want love

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords / Lara Williams, Supper Club / Théodore Géricaul, The Raft of the Medusa (1818–19) / Jenefer Shute, Life-Size / Ovid (tr. Henry T. Riley), The Story of Erysichthon from Metamorphoses / Guillermo Lorca Garcia-Huidobro, The Banquet (2013-14) / Maya C. Popa, from “The Color Wheel Has Been Cancelled”, American Faith / Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood / Interview With the Vampire (1994) / Yves Olade, Belovéd / Natalie Diaz, Postcolonial Love Poem / William-Adolphe Bouguereau, Dante and Virgil (1850) / J. Karl Bogartte, A Curious Night for a Double Eclipse / Leah Raeder, Black Iris / Hannibal (2013-2015) / Marina Tsvetaeva, Poem of the End / The Terror (2018) / CS Lewis, The Horse and His Boy / Beastars (2019 - ?) / Hélène Cixous from “The Love of the Wolf” / “The Cannibal” / Azra T. / Raw (2016) / Richard Siken, from Crush; “Wishbone” / Severance (2022 - ?) / Emma Rebholz, No Good Boodsuckers / Aex Lemon, Another Last Day / Francisco Goya, Saturn Devouring His Son (c. 1819–1823) / Anne Carson, Plainwater: Essays and Poetry / Black Sails (2014 - 2017) / Kathy Acker, Empire of the Senseless / Anaïs Nin, Henry and June / Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995–1996) / Tanaka Mhishi / Margaret Atwood, You Are Happy / Jennifer’s Body (2009) / KotOR II / Edna St. Vincent Millay, from The Collected Poems of E. M; “True Encounter”

Barbie (2023) + details (insp 1/2)

(taken from @/sarahofmagdalene on instagram.)

A NOTE TO THOSE WHO MAY BE PARTICIPATING IN PRO PALESTINE ACTIONS IN VANCOUVER.

Please, even if you don’t live in Vancouver, reblog to spread awareness. The canadian media isn’t covering the protests, let alone the hostility protesters face, so we can only rely on each other to get news like this around!

i have no idea how to do anything here but i love the concept of old people/aging because it can be both so good and so bad and so happy and so sad and i cry about that i hope old people get more help and attention because they deserve it

also he is gender and literally transition goals because i can't see myself getting old or aging or having any future and i desperately want to embrace aging and the future. i want things to be okay PleaSe.

this is what happened in think i dont know