My Guilt Will Not Purify Me.

I always find the melodrama around Obi Wan being Anakin's master a bit funny. Basically a teenage dad! Struggling single parent! Traumatized child in the care of a traumatized child! Eldest daughter syndrome etc..... Yes, he was grieving, and it must have taken courage on his part to present that ultimatum to the council, and had he had to leave the Order to train Anakin, I can see how that would have been deeply challenging, true. But like,

It's the clone wars cartoon that really renders it for me. Anakin was.... I think quite objectively less ready for knighthood at the end of aotc than Obi Wan was at the end of tpm, but the cartoon basically has it happen right away. He was an actual teenager. He, unlike Obi Wan, canonically did not really want a padawan at that time. Also, he had to raise a padawan in a warzone? Hey, he also had just lost a parent, wow, the parallels. The show also establishes quite thoroughly that jedi learn to look after children and teach... possibly even before becoming padawans themselves, judging by Ahsoka, and that there is also a good degree of communal teaching even with the apprentice system, judging by Ahsoka. But never mind all that

So we're cuddle-piling the 25 year old trained teacher with a solid support system who was applying for a position that he expected to include raising a padawan, i guess... truly the meowest of meows, the burdenest of burdens. No wonder Anakin fell!

anyways

Constantine’s Kids

…so now the noble swineherd, clinging fast to godlike Telemachus, kissed him, as if he’d escaped dying. // Odyssey, 16.19-25

patrol is fun :DD

My Odyssey book is coming tomorrow and I’m so excited!!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE TURNED ME INTO. LOOK WHAT WE'VE BECOME.

The batkids love “Uncle Ollie” because he’s the cool uncle who comes over and randomly throws things at them to catch in increasingly tricky intervals.

They’re flipping backwards over furniture trying to catch random little darts constantly whenever Oliver’s there to talk to Bruce about JL stuff. They need to catch the thing, which drives Bruce quietly crazy even as he acknowledges it’s a useful test of reflexes.

Uncle Ollie sometimes gets bold enough to try and throw shit at Bruce. This isn’t a good idea for several reasons.

Bruce and Oliver except they don't have the Sun & Moon dynamic, they have a Sun and it's Shadow one.

The Sun who is always shining, who brings people into it's orbit but always keeps them at a distance. the Sun who, for better or worse, is a burning mass of energy that most will only see as the one to bring light. the Sun that will always cast a shadow for as long as it burns.

And the Shadow of the sun, always behind it no matter what. the Shadows that curl around the stars, and helps paint the night sky. the Shadows that can only be a Shadow so long as the Sun keeps burning, because Shadows without light is just darkness.

Silly Batfam headcanon that David Cain (who introduced his daughter to a lot of his contacts during her upbringing) in his younger days used to be... a lot more involved in politics.

So, one seemingly slow day in a certain american inteligence agency:

CIA agent, entering the room in a panic: Sir, Bruce Wayne has-

Head of the pentagon: The playboy millionaire? Why do I care what he has done?

Agent: Because he has publicly adopted Cassandra Cain, sir!

Pentagon head: Cassandra Cain?

Agent: Yes, sir.

Head: Daughter of internacional assassin David Cain?!

Agent: The one, sir.

Head: THE GUY WE HIRED TO KILL KENNEDY AND COVER IT UP THIRTY YEARS AGO??????

Agent: Exactly.

Head: I thought her daugther had disappeared and was missing or something, how has she been adopted by Bruce Fucking Wayne?!

Agent: We're looking into it. She's using forged legal documents but it's definitely her, should we arrest her?

Head, grabbing the agent by the collar: That's the girl who beat every single UN-wanted assassin on earth before her age hit double digits, you idiot! If you so much as lay a finger on her she will break it and then come after me for seconds, no one touches her!

Agent: Ok, sir, put me down, please. *Head lets go of him* Should we put all of Wayne Mannor under official protection, then?

Head: Yeah, yeah, that sounds about right, wouldn't want something bad to happen to Cain's new father that could send her on a vengeance quest.

Agent: Do you think the Batman knows the Waynes are harboring the singular most dangerous non-meta teenager on Earth?

Head, about to have a heart attack: Oh, God, if the Batman goes after Wayne it could send Cain into a rampage. Establish emergency communications with Batman, appeal to his good nature, offer him whatever he wants, he can't go after Cassandra Wayne!

*One day later, on a rooftop in Gotham*

Batman: Speak, I'm busy.

Agent: Yes, I won't take much of your time. My bosses want to- who's that?

Batman, without turning to look at the figure behind him: That's Batgirl, my partner. But you were talking to me.

Agent: O-of course. Listen, there's a new dangerous criminal here in Gotham you will wanna hear about.

Batman: I thought your bosses didn't like working with me?

Agent: we don't wanna work with you. We want you to leave this criminal alone, as we believe she's looking to turn a new leaf. That, and she might probe a greater threat if provoked. *hands him pictures of Cassandra during the adoption announcement*

Batman, thirty years of poker face training:

Agent: She is Cassandra Wayne, new adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne.

Batgirl, noticing the inmediate shift to proud-happy-proud when the agent refered to her as his daughter:

Batman: I've heard about her, Bruce Wayne seems very fond of her already. Very well, I will leave her alone, she hasn't done anything bad as far as I've found in my investigation anyway.

Agent, sighing in relief, looking down a second to pocket the pictures: That's great to hear, it's a pleasure to- *looks up and both vigilantes have disappeared*

*a few roofs away*

Batman, walking in absolute silence:

Batgirl, pullings his sleeve: Fond of me?

Batman, nodding, red under the cowl: Fond of you.

I want Bruce and Oliver to be so petty. Like when Lex does an evil scheme they make remarks that only he will know are about him and hang out and if he tries to crash it they post stories abt their boarding school days. Cause it will help with their secret identities but Lex will just be embarrassed af and his stocks will go down while the others go up.