There Are Days Where Things Dont Go Like You Wanted Them To Go. The Weather Is Gray And The Wind Is Cold.

advice from dad

So, my Dad is a 73-year-old Mexican man who has lived here since he was 16. He was in Watts during the riots in 1965; in 1992, when I was in LA, as soon as the Rodney King verdict was announced, he called me, told me what was coming, told me how to stay safe. He has survived horrible living conditions, being kidnapped, physical abuse, prejudice, discrimination. He learned English, got his green card, pays his taxes, works hard, and has three daughters. 

I thought he would be devastated today.

But he wasn’t.

He saw that I was sad and angry, and he asked me why, pretending he had no idea. I almost started crying. And then he said, “no se me chicopale.” 

It means, don’t lose heart. Don’t give in to despair.

I asked him why he wasn’t upset.

He said, basically, “The world has always been this way. There are always people who are afraid, who are racist, who are awful. This is not new. And it will never go away. He won. We can’t do anything about that. All we can do is what we can do. Fight for what matters to us. Take care of each other. And don’t lose heart. And here, I got these unsalted cashews for you and a bag of jamaica drink mix and can you show me how to use the new washing machine because it’s not working.”

And, for reasons I can’t articulate, I feel a little better. 

namratazakaria

helpful reminders + ways to support abortion seekers in the US right now

some thoughts/reminders based on what i’ve seen on social media today:

this decision doesn’t just impact women! it impacts anyone who has a uterus! say what you mean and mean what you say, your words have weight and meaning! (glad we could clear that up)

grieving is normal. having big, messy, unwieldy feelings is normal. taking the time to recognize and sit in those emotions is important. wanting to protest is good. wanting to change things is great. being in touch enough with your emotions to recognize that you’re experiencing trauma is just as important.

everyone processes differently. my reaction may not look like your reaction, and yours might not look like the reactions of your friends/family members. many people have jobs/situations that preclude them from taking the sort of actions they’d like to in response to this/other social injustices they’ve seen recently. hold space for those people, the people sticking it out in places where they can’t speak their minds for the sake of creating a better place for those who come after them.

the people in the U.S. didn't ask for this. CNN polled americans after the draft opinion leaked in early may, and at the time 59% of respondents said that they'd support congressional legislation codifying nationwide abortion rights. I know it's easy to make fun of the U.S. by calling us a dumpster fire or saying you're glad your country didn't do this, but know that there are real people on the other side of the globe from you who are reeling from the whiplash of swiveling their gaze between children being gunned down in their schools and the supreme court attempting to delegitimize reproductive rights. it's not a joke for them, particularly not for those who fall into multiple minority communities and will now be facing the brunt of this ruling head-on in more ways than one.

for fucks sake. donate to abortion healthcare providers. not just PP (we love them too, but the smaller ones need the most help). learn how to support yourself/your friends in the event that you need to get an abortion and don’t live in a state where it’s protected. spend time/money investing in the protection of the rights of the groups that found out halfway through the morning that they have fewer rights than family members only one generation above them. grieve with them. care for them. act just as loudly as your words and posts.

Some helpful links re:putting your money where your mouth is below the cut

Links:

National Abortion Federation (the largest national, toll-free, multi-lingual Hotline for abortion referrals and financial assistance in the U.S. and Canada, providing callers with accurate information, confidential consultation, and referrals to providers of quality abortion care)

National Network of Abortion Funds (direct donation to over 90 local abortion providers, allows you to customize your donation amount + direction)

The Abortion Privacy Guide (how to safely search for abortion access from a device)

Abortion Finder (comprehensive directory of verified abortion service providers)

Repro Legal Helpline (help with specific, legal questions about an abortion experience)

Mayday Health’s Twitter Thread and Plan C (directions on how to request abortion pills for at-home abortion access)

Donations4Abortions (resource to help you find local funds to support from state to state)

Indigenous Women Rising (abortion fund for all indigenous people who are seeking abortion services)

The Brigid Alliance (national abortion fund that arranges/funds all aspects of the abortion process no matter where the person seeking the abortion is located)

I Need An A (provides personalized, up to date info on how to get an abortion)

MA Hotline (licensed healthcare providers to answer medical questions during an at home miscarriage/abortion)

Exhale Pro-Voice, Connect and Breathe (post-abortion counseling services)

Reprocare (emotional support during medical abortion process)

my other grounding technique is remembering that the earliest abolitionists & the earliest suffragists had no proof that the world would ever make possible what they fought for and indeed many of them did not live to see it come to pass. and yet they did not succumb to despair so it would be disrespectful to their memory to let it overtake me

my therapist said, “you’ve been a badass through all of this” and i really needed to hear that. to anyone else who does too, i think you’ve handled everything like a badass. your survival is impressive all on its own.

It’s annoying but the way you improve yourself is one tiny thing at a time

25 ways to be a little more punk in 2025

Cut fast fashion - buy used, learn to mend and/or make your own clothes, buy fewer clothes less often so you can save up for ethically made quality

Cancel subscriptions - relearn how to pirate media, spend $10/month buying a digital album from a small artist instead of on Spotify, stream on free services since the paid ones make you watch ads anyway

Green your community - there's lots of ways to do this, like seedbombing or joining a community garden or organizing neighborhood trash pickups

Be kind - stop to give directions, check on stopped cars, smile at kids, let people cut you in line, offer to get stuff off the high shelf, hold the door, ask people if they're okay

Intervene - learn bystander intervention techniques and be prepared to use them, even if it feels awkward

Get closer to your food - grow it yourself, can and preserve it, buy from a farmstand, learn where it's from, go fishing, make it from scratch, learn a new ingredient

Use opensource software - try LibreOffice, try Reaper, learn Linux, use a free Photoshop clone. The next time an app tries to force you to pay, look to see if there's an opensource alternative

Make less trash - start a compost, be mindful of packaging, find another use for that plastic, make it a challenge for yourself!

Get involved in local politics - show up at meetings for city council, the zoning commission, the park district, school boards; fight the NIMBYs that always show up and force them to focus on the things impacting the most vulnerable folks in your community

DIY > fashion - shake off the obsession with pristine presentation that you've been taught! Cut your own hair, use homemade cosmetics, exchange mani/pedis with friends, make your own jewelry, duct tape those broken headphones!

Ditch Google - Chromium browsers (which is almost all of them) are now bloated spyware, and Google search sucks now, so why not finally make the jump to Firefox and another search like DuckDuckGo? Or put the Wikipedia app on your phone and look things up there?

Forage - learn about local edible plants and how to safely and sustainably harvest them or go find fruit trees and such accessible to the public.

Volunteer - every week tutoring at the library or once a month at the humane society or twice a year serving food at the soup kitchen, you can find something that matches your availability

Help your neighbors - which means you have to meet them first and find out how you can help (including your unhoused neighbors), like elderly or disabled folks that might need help with yardwork or who that escape artist dog belongs to or whether the police have been hassling people sleeping rough

Fix stuff - the next time something breaks (a small appliance, an electronic, a piece of furniture, etc.), see if you can figure out what's wrong with it, if there are tutorials on fixing it, or if you can order a replacement part from the manufacturer instead of trashing the whole thing

Mix up your transit - find out what's walkable, try biking instead of driving, try public transit and complain to the city if it sucks, take a train instead of a plane, start a carpool at work

Engage in the arts - go see a local play, check out an art gallery or a small museum, buy art from the farmer's market

Go to the library - to check out a book or a movie or a CD, to use the computers or the printer, to find out if they have other weird rentals like a seed library or luggage, to use meeting space, to file your taxes, to take a class, to ask question

Listen local - see what's happening at local music venues or other events where local musicians will be performing, stop for buskers, find a favorite artist, and support them

Buy local - it's less convenient than online shopping or going to a big box store that sells everything, but try buying what you can from small local shops in your area

Become unmarketable - there are a lot of ways you can disrupt your online marketing surveillance, including buying less, using decoy emails, deleting or removing permissions from apps that spy on you, checking your privacy settings, not clicking advertising links, and...

Use cash - go to the bank and take out cash instead of using your credit card or e-payment for everything! It's better on small businesses and it's untraceable

Give what you can - as capitalism churns on, normal shmucks have less and less, so think about what you can give (time, money, skills, space, stuff) and how it will make the most impact

Talk about wages - with your coworkers, with your friends, while unionizing! Stop thinking about wages as a measure of your worth and talk about whether or not the bosses are paying fairly for the labor they receive

Think about wealthflow - there are a thousand little mechanisms that corporations and billionaires use to capture wealth from the lower class: fees for transactions, interest, vendor platforms, subscriptions, and more. Start thinking about where your money goes, how and where it's getting captured and removed from our class, and where you have the ability to cut off the flow and pass cash directly to your fellow working class people

if you are abroad and want to help:

do not post graphic pictures of victims or videos of the kidnapping victims, especially not the ones showing them being harmed.

donate:

Magen David Adom

https://www.mdais.org/en/donation

Red Crescent

3. stop glorifying violence. this is war, both sides are doing atrocities and this suck for the people living here. all the people living here

Have a restful evening babes! Take a nice bath, read a cozy book, have a sweet treat, this is going to be a difficult road ahead and we need to take care of ourselves.