(through Gritted Teeth) Sometimes What's Good For Your Mental Health Isn't Another Do Nothing Day Or

Art by Julia Sidorenko

You know, rivers catching on fire used to be a regular occurrence.

DO YOU NEED HELP?! THIS IS YOUR PUSH TO GO GET THAT HELP!!!

IT'S NOT A FAILURE TO NEED HELP!!! ACTUALLY - ASKING FOR HELP IS ONE OF THE BRAVEST, MOST BADASS THINGS YOU CAN DO!!! SO, IF YOU NEED HELP, IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH SOMETHING - THIS IS YOUR SIGN!!! ASK SOMEONE!!! GOOGLE!!! LET'S GET YOU THAT HELP!!!

The "Might as Well" principle for people with ADHD means leaning into your urge to take care of needs immediately when you notice them, and take that task-hopping tendency as an opportunity to "clean as you go".

You were probably raised to think there's only 1 "right" way to be productive. This is false. You don't need to (and honestly you CAN'T) become neurotypical, but you've probably spent a lot of your life striving to achieve success in a neurotypical way. This can be detrimental to your mental health. You have to learn what works best for YOU.

You don't need to feel guilty for not keeping a strict routine and an aesthetically pleasing home. Your goal should be keeping your environment (minimally) livable and safe.

This principle is intended to help with chore struggles, but it can also apply to personal care, and other areas of the ADHD struggle.

Going to the kitchen? Might as well bring as many dishes/cups as you can carry.

Going to the bathroom? Might as well wipe down the counter while you're in there (or for me personally, scoop the litter box while I'm there).

Taking a shower? Might as well scrub the shower walls while you're there (Be safe! I keep a utility sponge nearby for spot cleaning, but I don't use chemicals during my showers).

Forgot to brush your teeth in the morning? Might as well brush after lunch. No need to wait until the next "designated" teeth brushing time at bedtime (minimally, keep some floss picks, tooth wipes, or mouth wash at work/school).

Stuck in decision paralysis in front of the fridge? Might as well hydrate. Drink water!

Mount doom (laundry pile) giving you anxiety? Might as well pick one category, such as shirts, and sort them out. You don't even have to put them all the way away, just separate them so your doom pile looks smaller and less daunting.

Please feel free to add more!!

Bro absolutely COOKED with this.

42+ ways to fix a story in progress

(Also posted on: 42+ ways to fix a story)

Here is a list of (some) ways to fix a draft or story in progress. I started it in the observation journal when I was struggling with some story changes.

In summary, these can be reduced to intensify; focus/tighten; swap/invert. But in a tight spot, specifics are often more useful. And making the list was also important, because it reassured me I knew all these techniques, and had used them before, and should calm down.

List 10 terrible endings (adapted from a Helen Marshall exercise), or just 20 endings. Or 100…

Re-outline it

Map it onto another story (I like to quick-outline fairy tales until one resonates, and then identify the parts to strengthen)

Fill it out as a synopsis questionnaire (I used to use Sue Dennard’s 1-page synopsis to trap story ideas)

Ask — what is the story behind the story?

Change the place

Change the era

Genderflip main character

Genderflip everyone

Change the genre

Change the adjectives

Describe the story in one emotion, & align/adjust

Do the same for each scene/section (see also three moods)

Flip (main) character’s personality (quiet to loud, etc)

What happens after

What happens before

What’s happening at the same time

It’s a metaphor for: ___

Pick/change emotional note for end

Scene-map

Match to 3-act structure

Match to 5-act structure

Give characters a preoccupation or secret

Start it later

Start it earlier

End it earlier

End it later

Map it onto a song

Blow something up

Make everything worse

Change [define & intensify] the aesthetic

Explain the reasons

Invert

Make it/ the weak bits A Whole Thing

Make it/ the weak bits a Good/Bad Thing

Make it/ the weak bits The Shape of the World

Tell from a non-obvious point of view (see also: by whom and to whom, and some less common points of view)

Change the type of character in the role (think archetypes and stereotypes)

Change drama – pose (?)

Change motifs

Change sentence structure

Change form, shape (e.g. list, pastiche, non-fiction)

And to these I’d add:

change voice, and

change age.

I might add more as I go. But in the meantime: hey, my debut collection of short stories, KINDLING, is now out from Small Beer Press (in the USA, and coming soon to Australia). It includes the new story “Annie Coal”. And if you look closely at the journal page above, you’ll see that was the story I was editing when I made this list.

I generally agree with that post going around about how you should let kids fuck around and find out with physical play but it carries this weighty implication that if you don’t develop kinesthetics at an early age you’ll never develop them at all, which is a very discouraging way to talk about the real possibilities of adult life

Not "humans are inherently good" or "humans are inherently evil" but a secret third thing (humans are inherently social animals which means that we're very good at cooperating and being compassionate towards those we perceive as being part of our community but we're also very good at being tribal and violent towards those we perceive as threats to our community and everyone defines their community differently)

my therapist said, “you’ve been a badass through all of this” and i really needed to hear that. to anyone else who does too, i think you’ve handled everything like a badass. your survival is impressive all on its own.