maybe when spring makes its way into the seeds of trees, it will plant one into my mind too. one that will cleanse my soul of everything that is sadistic and destructive about me.
the seed will bloom into a beautiful flower that is nourished by the affection of the sun, beaming on the body i try to deplete of its forces day after day. the scent of the pollen will inspire in me a new kind of love for myself that is lost in the covers of my bed.
i desperately need this flower to stop my body from withering away as my mind starts to reach new lows i’ve never seen before.
this disorder is fucking ruining my life
I control food, it doesn't control me.
I can choose to e@t or restr1ct whenever I want.
Wanting food has little to no effect of me. I e@t what I plan.
I only ever regret e@ting, never ⭐️ving. Don't e@t, don't feel regret.
I am in charge. If I don't want to e@t for a day, I will not.
I have control over my body. It does nothing without me allowing it.
I am never missing out on food opportunities. It will ALWAYS come around again.
I will not e@t just because other people are.
I like feeling hungry. It makes me feel good. I prefer it over feeling full.
okay so this is probs a bit tmi but does anyone else weigh themselves n4k3d?
i’ve heard that this is only a thing with ed’s. like for me, i have to weigh myself n4k3d bc i feel like clothes make the scale go higher and well my brain wants to see the lowest number possible.
Petra Collins’ high school aesthetic photography changed my brain chemistry
men are so hot, I wish they were also good people.
seeing that number go down on the scale is a better high than any drug will give you.
peak 3d behaviour for me is browsing those relatable food content pages like a magazine catalog and seeing which junk recipe I should omad to
nothing beats the humiliation you get when you thought you were skinny until coming to school and so many people are thinner than you
every monday i go on crumbl's site and look at all the cals in the weekly lineup cookies like im clocking in for a job
i think i have to accept i’m building muscle
pros are burning cals at rest but cons are A HIGHER WEIGHT ON THE SCALE ARFGHG
when i was eating normally last week i probably started growing smth but still
is the wellness lifestyle for me?? xx