Because After Every Despicable Action That I Will Commit I Will Still Be Holding Onto My Skinnyness To

I'm miserable when I'm eating normally and when I'm starving and when I'm binging so I might as well starve because at least I'll be miserable and skinny

Ah isn't loss of appetite the biggest blessing?

• • • •

Perhaps I feel faint, perhaps I need the focus today.

Oh but I can't.

My head is spinning, reeling, and I can't stop thinking.

But at least it gives me a break from eating.

• • • •

18 hrs of work and nonstop thought.

Tonight I will stare in the mirror, as I always do.

Exhausted.

• • • •

But euphoric. I'll trace my bones, admire my stomach's concave. Know I'm in control.

At least of this.

• • • •

More work.

Then in 24 hrs the scale will show my progress.

Tell me in thin, worthy, beautiful... right.

• • • •

Oh to be perfect, see my flaws melt away.

To finally feel proud.

the biggest mistake u can do is start eating something u know will make u binge. like no, it's not going to be different this time😭 be ffr

hey sweetie remember you are a full whole unique person outside of your ed and you are allowed to enjoy things even if you are “failing” at the ed

Love days when no one is home for dinner cause I can just not eat!! 😛😛😛😛🙏🙏🙏

men are so hot, I wish they were also good people.

REASONS TO KEEP GOING:

so when it’s the first of january, you no longer have to make “lose weight” a new years resolution

because you have been craving your dream body for way longer than that high calorie, greasy food you’re craving right now

because as much as people try to deny is your worth is tied to that number on the scale.

because of how many summers have already gone by and you’re still saying “next summer”

because thin is beautiful. thin is classy and elegant. thin is chic and feminine.

so that you look good even if your fashion sense lowkey sucks. why? because skinny is the outfit.

because that 11 year old little girl deserves the skinny future she dreamed of.

because you owe it to yourself to go through life in a beautiful, fit body

because if you’re actually honest with yourself, fat doesnt fit your aesthetic does it?

because you dont deserve to complain about having to start over when its you who keeps giving up.

because you actually have potential and you’re just wasting it all by allowing yourself to be fat

Manifesting that I'll go all of February without having a major b!nge episode

never forgiving human evolution for making it so that the less you weigh the less you burn

i think i have to accept i’m building muscle

pros are burning cals at rest but cons are A HIGHER WEIGHT ON THE SCALE ARFGHG

when i was eating normally last week i probably started growing smth but still

is the wellness lifestyle for me?? xx