The Blackstone

you know, antione probably wished arthur would rearrange his guts,

just probably not like that-

ep 50 save me

Okay but when Kayne freezes time to reveal John's deal with him Larson, the Butcher and Noel are just in the background watching.

Like, imagine you are the Butcher who has the bare minimum of context on all of this and suddenly you're frozen, and everyone else is frozen, and a guy just appears beside Arthur and starts monologuing.

Like here is what he just experiences frozen and unable to move:

KAYNE (loudly): So close! 

KAYNE (innocently): John?

KAYNE: And? And!? (Unimpressed.) And what.

KAYNE: Stopped everything? Why, yes.

KAYNE: How!? (He walks as he talks.) How am I supposed to explain that to you? God, you sound just like your little host family here, questioning everything! Some things just happen, Marigold.

KAYNE: Deal? What deal?

KAYNE: Oh, I don’t recall a contract or written word, really.

KAYNE (dangerously): You’ll what? 

 KAYNE: Oh! You know what? I do remember! (Recollecting.) Oh, oh, oh. We did make a deal, didn’t we? First, you were sent back into the King. Right? (Theatrically.) Whole once again! 

KAYNE: It was right after our little crumpet tried to shave his neck with the pointy end. Right? Then… hm. (He sucks air through his teeth.) Then what happened? You don’t remember, do you? 

KAYNE: Yes! You were… well, you were cast out, weren’t you? The King just – well, couldn’t make you fit anymore, could he? (Vigorously.) Too much soul in there! A broken mirror in too many pieces to put together again. (He pretends to cry.) 

KAYNE: Oh, of course! You were changed! A new… man? Entity? Thing? What are we calling you, exactly? (A short pause. Coyly.) Dandelions are yellow!

KAYNE: And so he cast you out! While in his realm, the King still had considerable power over you. Whatever you are. And sent you back to the one place you dared not ever return! (Cruelly.) Isn’t… that… right? 

KAYNE (dramatically): The Dark World! It was scary there, wasn’t it? 

 KAYNE: I mean, scary doesn’t even begin to sell it, but Arty promised he’d never send you back there, didn’t he?

KAYNE (faux aghast): And yet, your little deal had you end up right where he promised you’d never be!? Oh, how infuriating that must’ve been! (He laughs maniacally.) Oh. You would’ve done anything to get out again. Wouldn’t you? But first! You had to sink a little lower. Didn’t you? 

Time moves differently in the Dark World, doesn’t it? You didn’t just give up. You… You fell back on your old ways. The King who was trapped there before all of this… it was only when you were truly defeated that you called to me. (Abruptly.) Begged for me! The things you did for me to make this deal… (Shudderingly.) Ooh! 

KAYNE: But you got out. How did it feel, lying to Arthur this whole time? Not being able to tell him why you were coming here and … where you came from.

KAYNE: Not true! (Insolently.) Matthew had a choice! 

KAYNE: Absolutely! That little rapscallion let it slip, didn’t he? I told him to keep a tight, heavy lid… if Arthur knew that I wanted him here, he wouldn’t do it! But… could he keep that to himself? Hardly!

KAYNE (snidely): Well, because he made his choice.

KAYNE: His to make! And you made yours, my King. And you… (Pleased.) Mm! Fulfilled our deal. In a manner of speaking.

 KAYNE: And? And you were released from the Dark World! (Dramatically.) Contract fulfilled! (A conjuring effect, the rustle of paper, and pencil scratching.) See? 

KAYNE: So now… you and Arthur can leave! (Bad cockney accent.) England, was it? (Normally.) No more secrets between the two of you.

KAYNE: I mean… I said I stopped them from moving, Johnny, but his ears still work. 

KAYNE: Am I wrong, Archie? (He snaps his fingers.)

ARTHUR (in horror): You…

Butcher: ...

does kayne know his daughter is alive.

no, listen. hear me out.

this is gonna be a lot of me interpreting kayne very specifically, but kayne DOESN'T lie. he withholds information but he does not lie. and here, he speaks as if... like he doesn't realize that lilith HAS met arthur. that she DOES love him. that he's her favorite.

and i don't have the ep 50 transcript but i believe that when lillith is being explained to arthur, mother darkness says that she was the forgotten one trapped within hattie. being FORGOTTEN, to me, sounds like "presumed dead," specifically by other gods. oscar described it as a great entity being "trapped." if lillith has been trapped long enough, which, if we're going by what mother darkness said, it has been a LONG time, it's possible her father doesn't think she's alive. or at least she's not coming back from where she was trapped.

"why would he call his dead daughter a bitch" you raise a good point. i could say he's a weirdo and call it a day, but also, the full line is:

im not exactly arguing that lillith is DEAD, im arguing that she's lost enough power that it is the equivalent of being dead to the other gods. based off what kayne says, it seems that lillith has a habit of liking humans (probably what got her originally trapped within hattie) and messing with them. i think this particular comment is more a memory. like a "ah, someone messing with a human because they like them. my daughter used to do that..."

so to bring me to my point, because lillith is a shapeshifter and because (supposedly) kayne isn't really paying attention to what's going on in season five (based on:)

(whether he's not paying attention because he CAN'T (blackstone) or he WON'T i cannot say) the point is, he wouldn't have seen lillith alive. and when mother darkness explains lillith to arthur they are hidden with the hand of malevolence. PLUS, dead children are kind of A Thing in this show, idk if you noticed (faroe, addison, marie's son, malam, mother darkness and the witch...). so, the idea of kayne seeing lillith, his daughter, resurrected to her full self after being dead for years, doesn't seem so far off for the overall themes of the show.

plus, i think it gives him and arthur something to talk about. and adds a fun flavor to his character. the way he talks to arthur about faroe? while having a daughter of his own he believes to be dead? actually insane.

sorry that's a lot. anyway.

me when the character has a uniquely fucked mindset. me when the character's fundamental views of how the world works lead to them being hurt and/or hurting others and not seeing the problem with this. me when the character is a little freak who does weird shit because their beliefs, inspired entirely by their environment, are fuckeddddd

A non-exhaustive list of things from TMA that I was 100% certain were just fandom jokes before I actually listened to the podcast:

- The homophobic vase.

- Jon being kidnapped and forcibly moisturized for a month.

- Jon being kidnapped three separate times in the span of a single season.

- The "I won't kill a man because you're jealous." "Why not?!" exchange between Jon and Martin.

- There are like seven or more characters all named some variant of Michael.

- Melanie calling Jon "The Ceaseless Watcher's special little boy".

- Jon asking Martin if he was a ghost.

- The "Statement of Joe Spooky" quote from Tim.

- The "Except for the vampires." "Yeah, obviously except for the vampires." exchange between Jon and Gerry.

- Mike Crew trapping a dude on a ladder forever.

- Jon asking Martin to gouge his eyes out and run away with him.

- Nikola Orsinov. Like, just in general.

- Elias being a pothead.

- Georgie being literally incapable of feeling fear.

- The bone apple teeth.

- The guy who married a bug.

Never getting over how basically all the comments on a reuploaded Pin of Michael meeting Captain Foxy are literally just calling him autistic

HONESTLY THATS SO REAL THOUGH

THE JACKBOX GAMES FANDOM IS DYING. REBLOG IF YOU JACK OFF

I remember saying that “oh Lillith hates her dad so much, that she’s going to risk death by awakening Azathoth”

No. it’s actually Kayne. Kayne hates his dad so much he’s going to risk actually dying just to kill him, make sure he doesn’t exist. This is what daddy issues do to a man.

malevolent fans i think this is my first time sharing the song i wrote about the podcast so here. enjoy. its one of my favorite songs ive written.