SERENA WON HER FIRST FUCKING TITLE IN ALMOST THREE YEARS AHHHH. YES I’M CRYING! I LOVE HER SO DAMN

wait wait wait wait wait

I wake up to find rafa has pulled out and yet for some reason RBA isn’t getting to play?

what is the point of having an alternate if they don’t play when someone can’t????

let roberto play

is he ok

Sir Andrew Barron Murray: A Choice Selection of His Greatest Hits

Stefanos seeing more things...

How to kidnap tennis players

Andy Murray: Tell him his mother sent you to fetch him, and if he doesn’t come, he’s gonna be in trouble.

Andrey Rublev: He likes boxing, and his dad is a former boxer… Honestly, if you want to go for it… I didn’t tell you to do it.

Rafael Nadal: Just start screaming for help, he’s too nice not to fall for it.

David Goffin: Disguise yourself as an elderly person carrying a heavy bag, ask him to help you with your grocery.

Denis Shapovalov: Some candy, ice-cream or a cup of Starbucks will do.

Sascha Zverev: Ask him: “Do you want to see puppies?” If you want to be extra sure, show him a puppy and say: “I got more in my car!”

Mischa Zverev: Tell him you have Sascha. He can’t leave the idiot alone.

Dominic Thiem: Say you saw an animal trapped in some plastic bags, ask him to help you free the animal. Add something along the lines of: “We really need to stop the plastic plague!” to look legitimate.

Novak Djokovic: Ask Roger and Rafa for help. They’ll gladly help you make him disappear.

John Isner: Put something really high, then ask him to grab it for you because you can’t reach it. Make sure your trunk is big enough, though.

Stefanos Tsitsipas: Straight up tell him you want to kidnap him. He’ll go with it for the fame and vlogging material.

Diego Schwartzman: Just grab him, he’s tiny.

Grigor Dimitrov: Print fake flyers with a new fashion store opening. The address is your lair, of course.

Jérémy Chardy: Ask him: “Are you lost?” He’s lost 99% of the time, so it will probably work.

Roger Federer: You’ll probably have to use a gun here, because you can’t outsmart him.

Nick Kyrgios: Don’t even try.

If only there were sunny days in ireland

I just wanna drive down a country road in Ireland on a sunny day and blast Hozier

but wait there’s more…

in conclusion: please watch tennis

stay tuned for our next presentation (and tell us which of your faves you want us to badly describe)

with love and memes,

@markmcmorron & @vergne & @dieschwartzman & @livelongandfangirling & @couldntthinkofagoodpun <3

Did some say Guide To The Top 10 ATP Players Plus Notable Others? No? Well here it is anyway. Please watch this hot mess with me