Alina Zhytielieva
“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” — Benjamin Disraeli
Girls do better than most men and boys
I want to feel you 😍😘
Practice Self Care First
قال الإمام ابن قدامة رحمه الله تعالى:
« إيَّاكَ أن تَشتَغِلَ بِمَا يُصلِحُ غَيرَكَ قَبلَ إصلَاحِ نَفسِك »
"مِنهَاجُ القَاصِدِين" || (ص: ٢٢).
Imam Ibn Qadamah said (May Allah Ta Ala have mercy upon him), “Don’t get busy in what fixes the affairs for others before you fix yourself.
Minhaj Al Qasiddin 22
The Natural selection
Take advantage of the seasons of your life and do not waste time! Use knowledge (ilm) and wisdom (hikmah) as guides. Race the time by taking advantage of it; and hold your 'selves' accountable and take a lot of good deeds to survive your journey for indeed death is about to knock on your doors.
[Book: Captured Thoughts by al-Ḥāfiẓ Abū'l-Faraj Ibn al-Jawzī, p. 359 | Translated from the Original Arabic | Dār as-Sunnah Publishers]
i wanted to take some time and talk about self-worth. this is something that was extremely difficult for me to find and realize for myself, but as i look back on my life and reflect on my growth, i’ve found myself truly knowing my own worth. of course, i still have those days that are more difficult than others, but i’ve been able to quickly pick myself back up. why? because i know my worth. i want to share a few things that have helped me realize that for myself, so i hope this post is able to enlighten you. ㅤ♡
let’s begin …
୨ৎ — lose interest in outsider opinions
in simpler terms: stop caring. i kept asking myself, “why do i care so much about what others are thinking of me?” and then i came across a couple quotes where one said, “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, why would you take their criticism?” and the other said, “i would never want to trade lives with someone who hates me.” those two quotes really stuck with me because it reminded me that those people who didn’t have a good opinion of me were the same people i needed to stop caring about.
so what if someone didn’t like me? that person is either no longer a part of my life (for good reason) or they don’t know me in the ways that my loved ones or my own self do, so why should what they have to say or think about me matter?
i knew myself better than anyone, so whatever anyone had to say about me shouldn’t have bothered me, and i let it stop bothering me. i also realized that as my day goes on and i find myself not thinking about what someone said, i tell myself that it wasn’t even worth a single thought in the first place because, clearly, it doesn’t bother me anymore!
if it won’t matter to you in 5 years, don’t continue to give it any more of a meaning.
୨ৎ — stop seeking validation
to piggyback off of my previous point, seeking outside validation is 1. not worth your time and 2. pointless. other people should never be the ones who define your worth. you have to seek validation from yourself. nobody else has a right to tell you whether or not you’re worthy.
i was always looking for validation from others, and it made my own journey to finding myself even more difficult. there were so many different opinions about me that i kept hearing, and it made me feel lost. it felt like i was getting further and further from truly discovering myself and feeling like i was worth something.
i had to pretty much force myself to seek validation within myself rather than from anyone else. it was hard, but the longer i kept searching for some kind of worth to others the more miserable and empty i felt.
୨ৎ — self reflection
time to bring out that journal, babe. we’re going to write about ourselves.
no, seriously, take some time to reflect on yourself. look within yourself and understand yourself a bit more. getting to know yourself and taking the time to focus on yourself can help you figure some things out and even bring you one step closer to truly knowing your worth.
prompts for reflection:
what are 3 characteristics about your personality do you like about yourself? why?
what are your strengths? how do those things about you make you a better person?
what’s your favorite thing(s) about you? how would they compare to what a loved one would say about you?
what are the things that weigh you down? what can you do to lift that weight off your shoulders?
how have you changed within the last 3 years? what about you has changed that you’re really proud of?
self reflection has helped me grow so much. i’ve learned so many new things about myself and it’s helped appreciate myself way more. you’ll be surprised at all the things you find about yourself, and guess what? one of those things will be your own worth.
୨ৎ — surround yourself with positivity
the people who you surround yourself with will play a huge role in how you feel about yourself. i spent too many years surrounded by people who made me feel like i was never enough, and i continued to keep the same kind of people around. i was sick of it. i was tired of being mistreated and feeling betrayed. those people made me feel miserable and they only ever brought me down rather than lifted me up.
even the media i consumed didn’t help me. i was always so focused on comparing myself to those instagram models and tiktok girls who looked nothing like me, and it made me feel worse about myself. even watching videos or shows that brought me down made my esteem drop too.
it’s important to surround yourself with people and media that make you feel good, that lift you up, and that help you feel confident because that kind of good treatment is what you deserve! you shouldn’t have to submit yourself to negativity, it only makes you feel worse and it’ll continue to get worse the longer you keep those things and people around.
now that i have people in my life that make me feel genuinely loved and cared for, i feel like i can offer that same energy those people give me to myself! it really makes a huge difference who your close circle consists of, so make sure those people are people who are genuinely and unconditionally there for you.
୨ৎ — final notes
if you do need a reminder: you are worthy, and you always have been! finding and knowing your own worth is no easy feat, but the journey you’ll go on to discover it and implement it into your life will be so extremely worth it. i promise!
you will always be more than enough, and i hope you can continue to remind yourself of that. treat yourself with genuine love and kindness, and don’t ever take yourself for granted. you have achieved so much and you have so many things to offer in life. you may not see it now, but once you do, you’ll see just how beautiful and bright your own light is.
with lots of love, faustina 🌷
Mornings with you ❦
“This (ring) distracted me from you (ie: his Companions he was with) all day, shifting my gaze from it to you (and back again).” “ شغلني هذا عنكم منذ اليوم، إليه نظرة، وإليكم نظرة. Then he threw (the ring) away. ثم رمى به. يعني الخاتم ”. Reported by al-Nasāʾī, Ibn Ḥibbān in his Ṣaḥīḥ, Aḥmad on the authority of Ibn ʿAbbās (may Allah be pleased with him) that: the Messenger of Allah ﷺ took a ring and put it on, أخرجه النسائي (2/295) وابن حبان في “ صحيحه ” (رقم 1468 - الموارد) وأحمد (1/322) من طريق عثمان بن عمر أنبأنا مالك بن مغول عن سليمان الشيباني عن سعيد بن جبير عن ابن عباس “ أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم اتخذ خاتما فلبسه، Then he ﷺ said: (the above). ثم قال: (فذكره). I say: The isnād (ie: chain) is ṣaḥīḥ upon the conditions of (al-Bukhārī and Muslim). قلت: وهذا إسناد صحيح على شرط الشيخين. Muḥammad Nāṣir ʾl-Dīn al-Albānī, Silsilah al-Aḥādīth al-Ṣaḥīḥah 3/189 #1192 محمد ناصر الدين الألباني، السلسلة الصحيحة ٣/١٨٩ #١١٩٢ https://shamela.ws/book/9442/1886 Telegram: https://t.me/aljadwal Tumblr: https://al-jadwal.tumblr.com
I think she’s in trouble!! 💜💜💜💜