I Feel Like Something A Lot Of A Ppl Need To Understand With DID Is That It’s An Extremely Internal

its rather annoying to me how its so normal to demonize people that get angry and bitter because of trauma instead of sad. its such a normal reaction to get angry because something bad happens to you but theres so many people that have such tight views of "good victims" that you have anything other than depression or anxiety or smth or turn bitter and theyre like. Your honor, kill them with rocks

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

btw if you can't, won't, or don't want to brush your teeth for any reason, i extremely strongly recommend orbit gum.

it's sugar free and ideal to chew it after eating--when you do that it helps prevent cavities according to the american dental association :3 your teeth will feel and be cleaner and also like it's fun to chew gum

[personally a fan of their sweet mint flavor because it's minty without being painful/overpowering but there's also a lot more of them--bubblemint's good too]

There are no disabilities which are raised above ableism. The person in the wheelchair, the autistic person, the person with schizophrenia and the person with an invisible chronic illness may all experience society's ableism in different ways, but none of them can expect to avoid it. So the "you wouldn't say X to Y" advocacy needs to retire yesterday. They say all kinds of ableist shit to all of us and it's time to try out some actual solidarity instead of arguing about who has it slightly worse

being chronically ill with fluctuating symptoms is so annoying because when it's at it's worst im like "okay i desperately need some type of mobility aid right now, i haven't been able to leave my house in days" but then i'm able to go for a walk one day and suddenly i feel like im exaggerating my symptoms and that i actually can walk fine and it would just be embarrassing and pointless to ask for a mobility aid assessment

but like ... not struggling as much one day doesn't take away from the days that i struggle the most

our pain is valid even when it's not at it's worst and we deserve the accommodations we need even if we don't always need them at all times

you know what, shoutout to the neurodivergent people with "scary" symptoms.

the ones who:

-say dark things without realizing

-talk to themselves

-have homicidal thoughts

-get really, really angry

-make others uncomfortable on accident

-don't tolerate bullshit

-can't/won't mask

-have dark interests

-have genuinely hurt others before

-have been in a psych ward before

-obsess over people

-have intrusive thoughts about hurting people

-have sexual intrusive thoughts

-don't really care about others much

-always choose themselves first

-have low/no empathy

-are seen as creepy or scary by others

this goes out to my folks with autism that isn't "uwu cute". personality disorder havers. schizospec people. ocders. odd and ied havers. and anyone and everyone else.

this post does not support intentionally hurting people. but people who have hurt others in the past and have changed or are trying to change/in the process of changing are more than welcome here.

sick of people watering down mental illnesses online.

people who are severely mentally unwell are likely to do things that are unhealthy, irrational and sometimes just completely fucked up. that is the reality of severe mental illness, especially if left untreated.

we may do things that are harmful or damaging to others, this doesn’t make us dangerous or evil, this makes us ill. if you cannot handle the fact that fucked up people might do fucked up things as a result of their severely shattered mental state, then do not surround yourself with people who are mentally ill. don’t make your inability to accept the severity of my mental state into my fucking problem.

Sometimes being disabled feels like you’re surrounded by people with superpowers, and you’re the only regular human.

Because I don’t really feel like I can do less—I feel normal. I’m so in tune with my own body, my own abilities, my own experience. I’ve lived this way for so long.

But then I look at other people, and see how much more they can do, their stamina, their resiliency, and I’m…baffled. Befuddled. Astonished. They seem downright superhuman compared to me. They seem like goddamn superheroes.

I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.

A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".

This will be kind of long, so bear with me.

Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.

There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)

Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.

Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.

So, three main things happen.

There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD

The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)

People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.

(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)

(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")

Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support

While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"

Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.

So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.

People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.

Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.

Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.

Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.

"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??

Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.

There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.

Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.

Autistic people’s relationship with sex is treated so horribly in so many different ways it’s genuinely fucking frustrating. Whenever a character is depicted with autistic traits a thousand weirdos manifest into existence to say that their cute little autism blorbo “doesn’t know what sex is and must be protected” but over in real kink circles with high populations of autistic people (furry porn and shit) they suddenly become the crazy degenerate perverts. To the greater society at large autistic people expressing their sexuality aren’t allowed to be considered normal, we either have to be sterile and nonexistent or a group of freaky sexual deviants. Give me a fucking break dude.