Every Fucking Time

I’ll die alone. Don’t say that. We should all live. Yoon Chan Young & Park Solomon as Lee Cheong San & Lee Soo Hyeok All of Us Are Dead (2022) dir. Lee Jae Gyoo

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this is not a very peaceful way to spend christmas...

fluff, chaos, headcanons, scenarios, short fic, modern school au, host club trope a/n: alright folks it's december 1, queue the christmas themed fics!! honestly this isn't that christmas themed, but it was a perfect excuse to write something host club inspired ehehe pls dont flop ahahah i lost the light in my eyes while writing this !

"alright everybody, listen up!" you shout desperately, wanting to get the attention of your noisy class. albedo, who was beside you, had already covered his ears, preparing for the chaos that was about to happen.

"tartaglia, please be quiet." you rub the side of your face as you pointed at him.

"as if i'll allow myself to listen to a bunch of officers my age! you're not the boss of me o esteemed class presi—"

"could you at least show some decent respect?" diluc said, turning to face the back of the classroom where childe was seated.

"yeah! you entitled piece of shit!" venti shouted and pointed at childe.

"hey! no swearing!" you put your finger to your lips, "you're gonna get in trouble for that!"

"ehe..."

"could we all just listen to the officers? it's pathetic how we're high school students, but we have to be treated like grade schoolers by the more mature people of the class. grow up," lumine said (very coolly), not even having to move in her seat for everyone to keep quiet.

"thank you," you cleared your throat before turning to the board, writing '3-1 christmas fair ideas' in all caps.

"so," you took a deep and tired breath, "the student council is holding a christmas fair, and all classes are expected to come up with a creative fund raiser. the funds will go to partner communities in need as part of the school's christmas drive project. so uh, this period is allotted for confirming our class activity, planning, and assigning work for each class members. any questions?"

aether raised his hand.

"yes aether?"

"are each classes limited to only one activity? what if we do two activities for extra funds?" he suggested.

"hm, i think there aren't restrictions, but i could ask the council president right now while you guys list down ideas." you turn to albedo, handing the marker. he nodded in agreement to take over as you hop off the platform.

"you can all go crazy with suggesting; i'll go to the office while albedo lists down ideas."

you enter your classroom once again after successfully confirming that, unfortunately, jean said only one activity was allowed per class, since each classes across the school is also expected to each have unique activities.

"guys—" the class was absolute chaos.

"why do you even want to do a maid cafe? that's so cringe, venti!" diluc said. you turn to albedo for an explanation, but he could only look at you and defeatedly shrug.

"well, we could always do a cafe without maids; like a bar, but no alcohol," kaeya suggested.

"but bro, that's so uncreative!" childe commented; he's in his thinking position, trying to come up with something better.

"oho, can blockhead think of anything better?" kaeya retorted.

"hey!"

in the corner of the classroom, xiao and aether were having a peaceful conversation.

lumine on the other hand, was about to stir up more chaos. "listen! listen. a host club."

the class went silent.

"soooo," you make yourself known, "about the two activities, i was wrong; only one activity per class is allowed."

"albedo!" lumine pointed, "host club!"

albedo wrote it legibly on the board, along with the other suggestions made thus far.

"hm, i suppose that's a pretty good number of suggestions. any more to add?" you ask the class, to which most either ignored or shook their heads in answer.

"let's vote already then. the sooner we submit, the more chances what we want to do will get approved."

"everyone who votes host club, raise you hand," albedo said.

and of course, whether begrudgingly or not, almost everyone raised their hand.

it seems you're having a very hectic christmas this year.

it actually starts under the cut!

lumine + aether

- they work in pairs. do not separate.

- lumine looks absolutely stunning in a suit (aether does too but lumine hits different), and unknowingly became very popular

- their table is crowded!! they're slowly overtaking the fan favorite

- people are attracted to their dynamic and interactions since lumine plays as the older sibling, and it's hard not to find aether cute when lumine seemingly babies him

- if you order a lot, they'll perform a christmas duet for you!

- one of their costumes during the duration of the host club was matching christmas elves

- even though the two of them are really busy doing their own part of the task at hand, they do make sure to ask how you are every now and then

- they know that organizing the class event is an extremely difficult task, so they try their best to show their appreciation of your hard work every so often :D

diluc

- the bartender that, to his misfortune, accidentally turned into a host

- he was literally just supposed to make and provide drinks considering he has experience from his father and their business

- but it somehow turned into people looking forward to entering your little host club in order to see diluc make a drink for them

- "may i take your order? we have a special promo going on, apparently," diluc tries his best not to sigh, "if you order a drink and a snack, i'll give it to you with a wink."

- venti came up with it and through your convincing (that diluc could not resist at all), he tried it

- you were the first tester, and as soon as you saw his wink, you just had to make it a special promo

- worked very well, to say the least

- diluc sees you standing most of the time, either greeting guests or walking around to supervise, so he tries to remind you to take a break at least every hour

- would give you a drink and a free wink and smile just to make you sit down and eat

venti

- everyone thought he was just kidding when he said he wanted to be a host; basically no one took him seriously except you

- he's a very good host though, to everyone's surprise

- he's sort of the idol within the group of hosts; he sings a lot for the people at his table, and if requested, he'd even play an instrument for them!

- he'd also often ask guests he's particularly fond of to dance with him while the others clap (you, eula, and amber were victims of this)

- he kisses the guest's hand and takes a bow in front of them after dancing, especially when it seemed like they were shy while doing so, and that's why he's so popular with the crowd

- he once started a tumult by offering a toast for you

- "i offer a toast!" venti shouted, garnering the attention of the people not only on his table, but from the other tables as well. "a toast to our beloved class president who helped organize this event!" queue the shouts of applause and clinking of glass

- you were so embarrassed because it was so sudden and random, but now you get random messages of gratitude and "merry christmas, manager, haha!" every now and then, so you guess it's heart warming...

kazuha

- he's from a different class, but he is your close friend, so he checked on you and your activity

- he's the vice president of class 3-3, so during the early days of the school year, you bumped into each other when the two of you accidentally entered the wrong venue for the leadership meeting

- you've became close friends ever since, often updating each other about leadership activities and other things that class officers have to attend

- he was with you when venti declared the random toast, and he was just as confused as you when everyone started shouting your name

- he laughed when you turned red with embarrassment, and raised his own ordered drink when he finally understood what was going on

- tries to stop by as often as he can to check on your mental health,, because your whole batch knows: your class is the rowdiest and has a reputation for being the least well-behaved (a very sad reputation, i know 😔)

- he got you a gift on the last day of the christmas fair! it was also the last day of school before the christmas break, so he took the opportunity to do so

- "congrats on a successful christmas fair, [name]," he smiled, offering you the gift. "i hope you enjoy the holidays! though we might not see each other till next year, it would be nice if we stayed in touch through text."

albedo

- during the first day of the host club/christmas fair, you had a breakdown after being told that the student in charge of the design team got sick, delaying the setting up of the venue

- albedo helped you in maintaining the organization of the activity, and offered to lead the design team and recall the tasks you needed to do

- when you came back after checking on the hosts and helping them wear their costumes and props, you came back to a very organized and well-set venue

- he reminds you to relax and trust the process, and often asks you to share some of your burdens with him

- gets really jealous when you talk to another vice president that's not him *cough kazuha cough*

- the two of you probably spent the most time together during the christmas fair

- you go to other classes' activities together!! totally because of obligation and not because he wants to spend time with you, of course

- he offers to buy food for you when the class you're visiting set up a food stall

- the two of you are teased for being a couple because you two have intertwined hands/arms whenever you're outside checking out the activities throughout the school, but you quickly dismiss it while albedo just shrugs

- you once lost him in a crowd because he sort of just silently accepts when he gets pushed away, and though he tries to catch your attention when you're getting carried far away by the crowd, his voice gets drowned

- so the obvious solution is holding hands, duh!

xiao

- a waiter turned host because he became popular by accident

- usually bangs drinks heavier than usual when he's delivering to childe's table

- he doesn't like childe in the slightest, if it isn't obvious

- he does have his own table but a lot of people still ask for his pictures because he looks really nice in a waiter outfit, and very cute when he wears that christmas hat

- after everyone knew that you were the president/ organizer/ manager/ turning maid of the class, people started asking you to take pictures of them with xiao

- some who are too shy to ask even ask you to ask xiao for them

- when the crowd learned that you and xiao were actually close friends, they bothered you even more

- xiao would use his scary dog privileges to ask them kindly to leave you alone because you're busy with more important stuff

- you laugh and tell them it's fine and xiao's obviously joking but everyone took it very seriously

- he doesn't mind getting pictures but he'd rather be asked directly

- there was a day when you wore a christmas costume with the twins (yes it was also an elf) and he asked someone to take a picture of him with you this time

- ever since, you've been hearing rumors around that xiao has a crush on you, but was too scared to ask (and he was making neither confirmation nor repute)

- asked if you wanted to meet up some time during the christmas break during the last day of school

- "oh uh... your christmas gift, i'll just send it on christmas eve if you uh, don't mind."

childe

- your relationship with childe is very weird (it's his fault smh)

- he's usually kind, or at least treats you normally when the two of you spend time together alone

- but for some reason, whenever you're doing officer duty, he becomes more irritable? annoying? obnoxious? disagreeable? loathsome? okay i'll stop

- but he's genuinely a nice guy, maybe he just has some hatred for the student council and officers after being sent to the principal's office for unruly student behavior too much times

- he's really popular!! the host club was a really good time for everyone to see the tamer and friendlier side to childe

- they love it when he talks about how he takes care of his brother and all silently agree that he has malewife potential

- the time when you were dressed up as an elf, he invited you to go to his table, and since you had to supervise anyway, you agreed

- he introduced you as a host and tried to make you act as one too, and though you were embarrassed at first, some of the people present at the table actually thought you were really cute!

- during the last day of the christmas fair, he picked up his brother from the elementary department and though everyone was already home because of excitement for the holiday break, he found you at the venue, cleaning the room

- he says that you should go home, but you refused, saying you'll stay a while to make sure that everything's tidy before leaving; you might get in trouble as the class president if you leave the venue dirty

- despite him only stopping by to get something he forgot, he and teucer gladly helped you tidy up, and you ended up going home together

kaeya

- THE FAN FAVORITE

- his table is crowded with people, and you always find yourself having to visit his table every once in a while to clear it of flowers and gifts

- you've dedicated your locker to keep all of the things that don't fit in his, to make sure no gift or flower gets wasted

- you usually help him and diluc transport all the flowers and gifts to their van by the end of each day too

- you were called to the principal's office one time during the christmas fair because of a very 'dedicated' fan of kaeya

- someone apparently reported that you were stealing kaeya's gifts and flowers behind his back (since you would usually take them away discretely and kaeya didn't pay attention most of the time)

- the news of you going to the principal's office spread wide, especially since your class knew of your absence— gossiping and talking amongst students is a magical force of it's own

- so when kaeya heard you were at the office getting your name tarnished for something so stupid and so false, he immediately barged out of the classroom and left everyone without a word

- he explains to the principal that you were only helping him, and you did it with full permission from him, and finally, you were dismissed

- apologized profusely because of having you go through all that useless business that just added to you already busy schedule

- gifted you flowers the next day

- "here, for yesterday. hey! stop laughing! i promise that's not from my fans, diluc can testify!"

scaramouche

- from class 3-2 (there are only three classes, btw)

- their activity is theatrical performance, which he is very good at, though it might not look like it

- invited you to watch prior the fair, and gave you a free ticket, saying that "your poor ass might not attend just because you're cheap" which you refute; you're going regardless if he invited you— you're gonna watch your other friends too!

- his performance was absolutely amazing together with the other class members (he dances really well)

- he once visited your class wearing his traditional inazuma costume for the play and everyone who watched their class's performance were so amazed to see him there too

- so he got really pissed when you should've been touring him around, but was instead bombarded with people asking to take pictures

- he lost his smile and composure when someone asked to wear his hat

- once it was peaceful and you managed to drag him away from the crowd, you asked if you could wear his hat as a joke

- but to your surprise he actually let you wear it

- "i think i understand why you like this hat," you say. it does its job to protect you from the whether, but it's also pretty refreshing and not too enclosed for the head to feel hot

- "you better give me a free drink for this one." "and you say i'm cheap!"

eula + amber

- part of class 3-2 too; amber's a script writer and director while eula is a performer/dancer!

- eula's the president and amber is the vice president, so you meet each other and became friends through leadership activities

- you toured them around one time after seeing they came, saying they wanted to support your class too after seeing you attended theirs earlier

- when you reached venti's area, he inevitably took this opportunity to take the hand of the dancer eula

- "why don't you dance with me, o performer from class 3-2?" "hmph. i suppose it wouldn't hurt."

- they absolutely made a stunning performance; the crowd was cheering on them and they were dancing as if there was music

- eula grabbed a hold of you, and you happen to be holding amber, so the two of you just got kind of got dragged to perform with venti and eula

- the four of you just enjoyed dancing to the claps of the crowd, and though you shyly stumbled here and there, it was undeniably, a really fun experience

- amber unfortunately had to go because of a next show, and eula needed to be on stand by for the next show, so the fun unfortunately came to a stop

kokomi + sara

- they were part of the student council, so you knew them through there

- part of class 3-3! the two of them found you and kazuha in the wrong venue after jean worried the two of you might have not been informed of the venue change

- you got a chance to catch up with them when you visited their class!

- their class has the least chaotic activity,, they basically just set up a gift shop, but what makes them unique kokomi's usage of each class member perfectly

- she suggested that gorou becomes a sort of adviser on what to give a specific person, while mona uses her astrology knowledge to tell whether the recipient is a good match for them if ever they're getting the gift for a crush (they're scarily very accurate in giving advice and intel)

- sara on the other hand suggested for yoimiya to put her pyrotechnics into good use and make safe and campus friendly sparklers, party poppers, and mild fireworks to sell in their small shop

- you have to admit that you used your connection with kokomi and sara to get discounts on the party poppers that your class wanted to get

- they invited you to stay at their shop for a while to catch up after seeing the absolute chaos at your class

- since they also had a polaroid rental, you bought sparklers and asked to buy a picture with the two of them before parting ways!!

- do not underestimate the power of polaroid pictures in making others jealous. *coughs in harem*

thoma + ayaka

- class 3-2 too

- when you learned that thoma was in charge of both moving props on stage, helping actors wear their costume, and touching up makeup, you'd be lying if you said you didn't wish you had him in your class

- ayaka looks absolutely gorgeous in her costume, and thoma did her beauty justice with the way he applied makeup

- the three of you met up backstage when all of you were having a break

- after asking about props and costumes and their process of preparing for the play everyday, thoma asked if you wanted him to put makeup on you just for fun

- ayaka, of course, second the motion, and you could not refuse when the two of them looked so willing to fix you up

- it was relaxing to say the least, that amidst a stressful day, ayaka was there practically giving you a head massage while fixing your hair, and thoma was carefully applying makeup onto your face, with a gentle dab here and there

- "oh! you're doing a look similar to scaramouche's i see," ayaka comments, looking at you with wide eyes

- "yeah! i thought the eyeliner would look well on them," thoma says proudly, and he sure was correct!

- you left their class looking like you had just performed, and though your class was a little disappointed you got pampered by class 2, they were not going to deny that they did an absolutely good job at doing it

ganyu + keqing

- class 3-2, part of the student council, ONE OF THE POPULAR KIDS OML

- they were going on rounds to keep each activity in check, and happened to meet you directly when they checked your class

- ganyu says it's doing great, but the critic keqing was, she said she absolutely hated how crowded it was, no offense

- you agreed though, there was no day that the venue of your class wasn't jam-packed

- so to continue your conversation, you just accompanied them, taking a walk outside as part of your break

- it was quite overwhelming to be receiving a lot of greeting as you walked by casually, and you had to remind yourself that it was of course because you were walking with one of the two most popular kids in school

- after you expressed that this christmas fair was indeed very tiring, they treated you to some ice cream away from the part of the campus that was occupied by a lot of people

- they also showed you a secret empty room that was always air-conditioned, saying you're free to use it under the council's permission if ever you needed to take a break from being around so many people <3

bonus: class 2-1 and 2-2

- since you wanted to support the christmas fair, you also checked out the activities prepared by the other batches, one of which was from the batch below you

- you were surprised that two classes actually banded together to achieve a sort of singular event

- class 2-1 were a class of performers, but they had one member who wanted to do a restaurant so bad

- class 2-2 on the other hand felt as if their restaurant idea was too plain

- so together, they banded a musical restaurant!

- xinyan + barbara: main vocals

- chongyun: drummer

- yun jin: main dancer/face

- hu tao, xingqiu + yanfei: rappers/second vocals

- xiangling + razor: chefs

- noelle + sucrose: waitresses

- bennett + fischl: hosts/ main organizers

bonus: elementary

- since they were too young to come up with their own activities, the little ones were performing a dance show that others could attend and watch

- the officers were required to watch, while childe was watching for his brother, so you, albedo, and childe all go to show together

- qiqi: flower

- klee: sun

- diona: cloud

- teucer: lion

- sayu: tree

- it was fun seeing the absolute chaos they were wreaking on stage, but no one says anything about it because they're just too cute while doing it too

bonus! if u wanted reference and visualization of who was in who's class

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Kept Jewel

A request done for @vilithshaven and @that-one-lilith <3 this was supposed to be out last night because i put it in queue but then later forgot to put it back there after editing it some fkjejjre

Fyi this is NOT sagau!!

Warnings: yandere content, minor character death of someone who's only there for two seconds, reader is implied afab and uses she/her pronouns, kidnapping and imprisonment.

For as long as you remember, your world had been full of vibrant, bright colors. The grass had always been green and the sky blue and the sun a glowy yellow and thus you had never suspected that it was rather unusual for someone so young to have already met their soulmate— that was because you didn't know about soulmates and the little connection between meeting their eyes for the same time, the world finally blooming in color for the two half-souls that had been separated long before their creation.

You had been an orphan, placed under the tender care of the elders of Higi Village. When you heard the tales they told, you merely assumed they were just that— fairy tales meant to brighten up the children's days and to give them a new game of pretending they could not see colors, using whatever words they could use to describe something without mentioning its color. 

Higi Village, before the curse of Tatarigami completely spread through the land and polluted everything in its wake, before the Vision Hunt Decree and the Sakuko Decree, had been happy to accept visitors and outlanders, often showing them the wonderful sights and the mines and all the cute little trinkets handmade from the ores. 

One such visitor had been the strangest person you'd met— a beautiful boy with long, midnight blue hair, eyes as purple as the Shogun's lightning and Electro yet he'd been so sweet and gentle you had felt ashamed of thinking of him like that. Kunikuzushi, he'd introduced himself, his smile making his eyes crinkle just the slightest bit. A wandering vagrant. 

He has entertaining tales to tell, little superstitions and stories from the rest of his travels and so in return you tell him of your own stories, laughing under your breath when you talk about soulmates and colors. Why wouldn't you? Color has always been visible in your life as far as you were aware, and thus that was more than enough proof for you that soulmates simply did not exist. 

Foolish, young and naive you remains unaware of the bright gleam in his eyes. 

He leaves, eventually. He is a vagrant and a traveller after all, and still has many places to see. He is not the first visitor to grace Higi Village nor is he the last, and so you forget him just as you have eventually forgotten all other visitors. 

But he has not forgotten you. 

He is unable to forget you, the one person who does not know about their soulmate's existence. The one who does not know about soulmates at all. 

That was more than alright for Kunikuzushi or as he goes by now, Scaramouche. You were his; you were clearly meant for him alone— he who has no soulmate, for he is a puppet more than a human and not even the archons can dictate which souls belong to one another, but Scaramouche knows that you and him are meant to be together for how else could you remain so oblivious to the truth if not for the threads tying you two so intricately? If you were meant for whoever had let you see, then they obviously weren't important enough if you have not met them ever again. 

You are his. So he returns to Higi Village, and at what an opportune time, too! The Tatarigami has truly and well stripped the island of all its previous glory, and all the Shogun and her little military had done was create a furnace to harness it, rather than ridding the island of it. All of it means he is right to come for you; he will take you away from this barren island to somewhere safe and secure, where only he may have have access to you—

He finds you amidst his musings, asleep and curled under the shade of a wilting sakura tree. A meagre shelter against the battering rain and the lightning striking the sky in a maelstrom of color, but shelter nonetheless. 

They've kicked you out just as I payed them to. Wonderful. 

He picks you up— and oh, you aren't asleep, but rather passed out. Your body is sweating and heated, and now that he is close enough he could hear how nasally your breath was. You are sick, he realizes with a chuckle. All the better for him, really. With you sick and weak and so clearly starved, it will be easy for him to convince you to stay with him.

And so he took you, sick and weak and vulnerable, back to a place he'd created solely for the two of you. You will be safe here, where nobody but him will ever interact with you; where your soulmate will never find you; where you are far too grateful to have a stable roof over your head and a warm meal three times a day to complain about Kunikuzushi being strangely affectionate with you. 

It makes something cold and uncomfortable curl in your stomach when he holds you, someone practically a stranger to you yet he adores you as though you've known him for centuries. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't eventually forgotten Kunikuzushi in the sea of visitors of Higi Village, but it appears that he has not forgotten you— each night you find yourself in his arms despite how uncomfortable you are, listening to his awful whispers of how he'll keep you by his side for all eternity, of how beautiful you look and how you belong to him.

But it is either this or being left to fend for yourself on an island that is no longer suitable for living and that has kicked you out— you both know this, and so you bite down on your tongue and let him be as affectionate and controlling with you as he wants even if it feels stifling and scary at times.

Scaramouche is not fond of leaving you alone in the mansion, but sometimes needs must. Sure he can order any of the maids that have strict instructions not to ever show their face to interact with you, but he does not yet trust you and them enough not to try and pull some stunt to escape, despite how well-behaved you are and how you're slowly starting to lean into his touches, smiling just a bit and no longer always asking to go outside.

He's sure you'd be horrified if you realized you've come to like your kidnapper caretaker's company, so he doesn't bring it up but nonetheless it still makes him quite smug and all the more convinced of his beliefs. 

He wants your every second of wakefulness and otherwise, he wants your attention and your focus and everything that you have to give and everything that he has to take— these are all reasons why he hates leaving you, but he's still a Harbinger and he has duties to fulfil for her Imperial Majesty the Tsaritsa of Zapolyarny Palace, and among those duties is pest control. 

Certain agents have less loyalty than they should, and some of them often try to do a funny little thing where they sell information to other groups in and outside of the nation of everlasting winter. These agents need to be put down, so to speak, and Scaramouche is here just to do so and then return back to you, his dear unknowing wife.

The Fatui have long since marked out the location of their little hideout, so Scaramouche does not need dally by searching around before he and some of his own men are already tearing it apart, the little traitors soon captured and presented to him. 

He orders the rest, save for their Inazuman leader, to be killed. Let him see what will be his fate as well, he thinks with a nasty chuckle. 

Scaramouche is thinking of you even here— he hopes you haven't gotten bored of all the books he's left for you, or perhaps you're now doing some embroidery? Hmm, while he can't have you speaking with others that doesn't mean he can't give you a little pet to spend your days with— 

Scaramouche doesn’t give the leader a chance to beg for mercy before his Electro has surged through his hands and catalyst. The sooner he kills this little pest, the sooner he can get you back in his arms. 

He expects many things for his return— he does not expect to find you crying and panicking, pacing in circles in your lavish bedroom. Upon seeing him, he is further surprised by you throwing your arms around him and sobbing. 

"Beloved, what's wrong? Has anybody hurt you?-" 

"Kuni, I- I can't see colors anymore, I can't what color is the sky or- or what color your eyes are, everything's black and white," your voice shakes and trembles with your cries. "Why can't I- why can't I see?" 

Scaramouche's mind is reeling with just how good this opportunity is. Your soulmate is dead, and now you can truly, fully belong to him. 

He pulls you even closer, making soft shushing noises and caressing your hair. "I don't know, darling," he lies as easily as breathing— even easier, as he doesn't really need to do the latter to live. "Calm down, my beloved, I'll try to search for a cure and an answer. But for now, stay with me?" 

You are still crying, but that's alright: Scaramouche gathers you in his arms and pretends expertly as though he's as confused and worried as you are when in truth he's quite happy about this new development. 

"Oh my darling wife, it's alright, I have you now," he keeps murmuring to you, smug in the way you don't protest but nod your head. Oh dear, it truly is bothering you huh? "You belong to me, I'll keep you safe and sound, my love. Only stay good for me. . ." 

He takes you to your bed, slow and steady to keep you from asking him to leave. He does not falter in telling you little "assurances", but if the way you keep yourself so unusually close to his side then he knows that you find comfort in his presence and his words. 

Mine. He thinks with delight at feeling you still crying yet keeping your arms around him, so desperate for his comfort and who is he to deny his lovely wife anything her heart wants? 

You're my soulmate. 

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POV you are one of Scaramouche subordonates and you didn’t listen to his orders 

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sub rosa | jjk

👻 part of the ghouls just wanna have fun collab 👻

➛pairing/member: jungkook x reader (e x t r e m e l y loose, questionable/unhealthy); slight yoongi/tae x reader ➛genre: the thing ! au, alien au (sort of), horror, thriller, angst ➛word count: 18.6k ➛rating: nsfw (gore) ➛warnings: major character death, themes of horror, gore, graphic descriptions of blood and gore, major character death— please do not read if any of these things upset you! ➛notes: happy halloween!!! I hope you enjoy my contribution to the collab,, loosely inspired by The Thing (1982)!! Please let me know what you think! Also, Afraid by No Wyld is a good mood-setter when things start to shift!

A long-awaited camping trip with your friends takes a turn you couldn’t have ever expected, and you find yourself wishing you’d never left your house in the first place. What are you to do when you let a wolf so unknowingly into your herd of sheep?

— posted; 30.10.2018

— masterlist | collab masterlist | ao3

“y/n, stop moving! You’re going to make the tent fall over!”

You rolled your eyes at the dramatic way Taehyung had called that out, hands remaining in the steady grip on the tent they’d maintained the whole time you’d been helping him.

“You’re the one moving the tent, idiot,” you snorted, grinning when he sent you an affronted look. “Also I know we’re a good few miles from the town at the bottom of this mountain but that doesn’t mean you can be so loud, jesus.”

Taehyung beamed at you, nimble fingers making quick work of straightening the pole he had to slip inside the tent to keep it upright. “On the contrary,” he said, chocolate hair sticking to his forehead slightly from the light sweat he’d managed to work up while setting up tents. “I pitched this whole idea just so I could have somewhere to be as loud as I want for a week.”

His words made you laugh, since that very much sounded like something he’d actually do. In the apartment building you’d both managed to nab a unit in, you with another girl who attended your university and him with Yoongi, he wasn’t allowed to be very loud at all— and even then he struggled to keep quiet, if the numerous noise complaints he’d received were anything to go by. You wondered if there was anyone on his floor or the one above and below that hadn’t complained about his yelling when he played online games with his friends.

Keep reading

---

A Balladeer who dreamed

A sort of prequel to all of the Scara pieces I made

In a time before you would make your permanent arrival upon Teyvat, an event occurred before you had gotten a chance to play the game.

One which resulted in the 6th harbinger sleeping softly on a beach, coincidentally not too geographically far from where the Traveler and yourself would eventually wake up. Though marks in the sand imply that his slumber was not so peaceful at first, he now lies still. Breath slow and steady, face half buried on the sand, but no signs of discomfort of any kind are present.

He stood at what seemed to be a throne of some kind. Though the surroundings were quite, surreal. In fact, there was only void. The platform where the throne sat led nowhere, columns rose far in front reaching nowhere. The throne was made of the same material as everything else. A pale, stone like texture yet it pulsed and writhed like the figure sleeping upon the throne itself.

You lay asleep, though not quite soundly, your face was contorted in worry and anguish, small noises of unease would come from you in this otherwise deafening silence.

Hesitantly, Scaramouche makes his way towards your sleeping figure. As he gets closer, the sheer size of the throne dawns on him. You could fit a mattress for two comfortably on the thing, and yet there you lay, sleeping on the armrest like one would a normal couch.

Unconsciously, Scara reaches a hand out to your figure

“You”

A voice echoes all around him, causing him to flinch away from touching you.

A figure seems to slip in from the very blackness surrounding this place. Before manifesting into the figure of a woman. Long dark hair and near sickly pale skin wear a dark dress seemingly woven from the night sky itself. The fabric, though seeming quite thin, obscures even the shape of the woman wearing it. The only distinct piece they wore was an amulet vaguely resembling a jagged vortex, emitting a soft purple glow at its centre.

Her expression is neutral, not quite harsh, not quite soft. Deep dark night coloured eyes gaze upon and seem to lay all of his secrets bare. Yet Scara can’t bring himself to look away.

“Who are you”

Their voice echoes all around, yet is still barely above a whisper.

“I am… The Balladeer”

Never in his life has he met someone so non threatening yet so incredibly intimidating.

“How did you reach this place”

“I… I don’t, remember” he bows his head, almost as if in shame

The woman approaches him, and when he lifts his head again, her expression has changed to a softer one.

“All I remember, is… I was having a nightmare, I think.”

“I see” is all she replies, before stepping past him and towards your restless form. She lays a gentle hand upon your head, instantly your expression relaxes. She turns back towards him before continuing

“This place is a realm of thought, here, they replay their own nightmare over and over again. It’s not surprising that even now, they’d still seek to help someone even while they’re unconscious”

A protest bubbles up in the Balladeer’s throat, but he cannot bring himself to say it aloud.

“You are a native of Teyvat, I presume?”

He nods his head

“Then may I ask you one small favour?”

He nods again

“Look after my youngest sibling” she pauses to look down at you, still fast asleep, clutching onto something underneath your head rather tightly.

“Knowing them, they’ll overexert the use of a power they don’t have full control over yet, and as much as they insist that they can go out on their own, I still worry.”

“And what would I get in exchange?”

At this, she rises to her feet, regaining that subtle aura of intimidation.

“As the Void Mother, I’m not quite sure what a material being could possibly want of me. But I’m sure you could think of something, and when you do, then I’ll do what I can”

Scaramouche ponders for a minute, before replying

“What makes you think I’d be any good at protecting them?”

“Are you a sword, Balladeer?”

He does not answer, as much as he wants to say no, he knows what he’s capa-

“Then it should be no surprise that you’re capable of more then just hurting people, no need to be afraid of yourself” she speaks, a sly smile gracing her lips

Before he can even ask how she could’ve done that, a vortex of shadows manifests at his feet, beginning to drag him within

“You still have time to consider Balladeer, do think it over for me, would you?”

The gentle sound of waves lapping at the sand greets him back to the land of consciousness. Dreary and confused, Scaramouche begins to rise slowly, but recoils at the sensation of something clutched in his hand.

A small amulet, bearing a strange, jagged vortex symbol, is found when he checks beneath his palm. Upon picking it up and examining it, everything rushes back to him at once.

The Harbinger sighs, wrapping the amulet around his neck and tucking it beneath his shirt before looking around the small island

It would seem he had much to consider

@nicebonescomrade COME GET Y’ALL JUICE

---

Deep Sea II. Yan Scaramouche x F Reader

>Rating: Mature. >Warnings: Mild yandere themes, amnesia, violence (not against Reader).  >Word count: 4.5k. >Deep Sea Index.

CHAPTER II // WROUGHT FROM THE SEABED 

Your earliest memories are not of collecting chirping crickets during the warm Inazuman summers, hearing ghost stories about trickster tanuki turned to stone in Chinju Forest, nor playing ohajiki late into the evening with the neighborhood children until your mom called you in for supper.

What you can remember, however, is painful enough that you sometimes wish you couldn’t.

Coarse sand rubbing your skin raw. Seawater filling your nostrils, your lungs, your soul. Ocean waves crashing down, manipulating your limp body to and fro as if it were a rag doll. Even when you were on solid ground, you had no energy to lift yourself. So you laid there and waited for whatever to claim you first — the ocean’s waves or death. You had no preference between the two. All you wished for was that whichever it’d be, it would come fast and be done with.

There is no fate worse than an eternal wait.

Keep reading

---

Honorable Or Not(Scaramouche)

Summary: You are a nuisance to Scaramouche’s mission objective, and he loathes people like you. However, he does not plan to end your life right away.

A/N: Some scara being awful!! This idea has been on mind a while back but then JJK brainrot happened. I love the power trippling trope too much smh

Content warning: Gender-neutral reader,violence, corruption kink, unedited, plot twist ending

People like you makes Scaramouche feel sick.

Always so cheerful and enthusiastic, ready to help others at the blink of an eye, and that smile.

Those qualities stirred something in him.

The sentiment is well above and beyond normal irritation, and he cannot quite put a label on it yet.

However, Scaramouche can at least be certain of one thing. He wants to see that sweet façade of yours break. A captain of the knights of Favonius. Who came from a modest middle-class family and landed on a commanding position by nothing but your own merits? The ultimate embodiment of chivalry? Diligent, skilled and that readiness to help the weak.

You pose a major threat to his current mission.

All captains of Favonis do, to be frank. But he finds you so much more irritating compare to that shady looking calvary captain, or that pathetic exucse of a Lawerance.

Scaramouche does not plan to kill you unless the situation calls for it, however. He wants to break you first instead.

Your privileged origins never gave you any opportunities, to wonder on the other side.

What are you, under all those layers of righteous ideals?

Where would you be without that long list of morals and principles?

Oh, how Scaramouche takes joy in seeing, those laughable confident faces distorted with fear! Those used to look down on him as if he is lower then dust, groveling at his feet, begging for his mercy.

With that eagerness to please others, the Harbinger thought you would be quite gullible.

He was proven right when one of his underlings lured you out of town alone, by just claiming to be needing some help with broken carriages. How easy, too easy perhaps.

How you manage to pull yourself up after being subjected to his electroshock is extraordinary. As expected from a high-ranking knight of Favonis, Scaramouche scoofs. But he still got you in his camp, far away from the city of the wind. Better do your best to entertain him, during your stay here.

So you can imagine the shock the little man feels, when you draw your sword at him as if nothing has happened. The way you put down his men is impressive even to the sixth of the Fatui Harbingers.

An electro vision...how did he missed that? Of course you are more resistant to shocks if you have that little gem, it was foolish of him.

You are one of that woman’s chosen...

That smile on your lips.

It is not those warm, daily ones you wear around town. Nor it is one of those encouraging ones you show to your subordinates. Sinister is one way to describe it.

“What kind of fool do you take me for?” Furrowing your brow at blood stains on your armor? Do you know who you are dealing with here?

So, this is what you hide under that jovial demeanor. A cruel beast, with little regard to human lives you deem unworthy.

“Two can play this game, Master Harbinger. I believe the acting Grand master would be pleased to hear I captured a Fatui officier alive.”

This is way more interesting than Scaramouche had ever imagined.

But you know how the saying goes. It's no fun if you do not resist a little.

---

“To me…”

---

sincerely,

yours truly (part one). / sincerely (part two).

premise: your diligent efforts to uncover the identity of your secret admirer had ultimately amounted to nothing. in fact, your investigations only raised more questions — your companions' strange behaviors and shifty-eyed gazes hadn't completely escaped from your awareness, not to mention you've become... privy to some of their affections...

and what is the last thing you need while trying to search for one person who liked you? more people to like you, of course!

but that is exactly what you receive. (goddamn it all.)

includes: zhongli, kaeya, scaramouche, itto & the real secret admirer !

note: oh god i have done it. it's even longer than the other one but since this is the 10k celebration fic, it's only rightfully so! i hope you enjoy this... likes and reblogs are appreciated <33 please read the first part if you haven't already!

zhongli:

all things considered, zhongli is an unrelated figure to your personal issues, not particularly concerned with such trifling matters. you lived worlds apart, and he's generally preoccupied by his own studies anyway, too absorbed in his thesis to mind who has a crush on who and whatnot.

yet it seems as if fate is intent on pulling you two together whether you like it or not.

you belong in different majors, your lecture halls on opposite sides of campus, and he's an upperclassman. not to mention the upperclassman everyone looks up to, the senior equivalent of albedo. though he holds an air of benevolence and warmth, he's unapproachable in the way nobody would dare impose themselves in fear of bothering him with their presence.

professors only speak of his name in accordance with endless words of praise, and legend has it that any paper he proofreads is guaranteed to receive a high grade... not that anyone could confirm it, since nobody has been gifted that luxury.

except for you, of course, living the y/n life — you'd been slaving away on your assignments per usual at diluc's cafe when, in a moment of misfortune, zhongli had crashed into a waiter and spilled his coffee on your papers, soaking pale sheets in brown splatters and smudging the inked sentences you'd painstakingly written for the past hour.

if only your laptop hadn't run out of battery, you wouldn't have resorted to drafting with pen and paper. or you could have done your work in a later date instead of being productive for nothing. fuck.

witnessing your expression crumpled to disbelief and misery, zhongli apologized through offering his assistance in doing your assignment with you. and oh boy, he did it well. it was better than what you could've ever done, the insight he provided beyond profound. he was humble even as you showered him with compliments, still looking quite apologetic for the fiasco he caused.

and. right. it could've ended there. after that occasion, you would wave at him if you passed by each other at the hallways, but that's where the extent of your relationship ended, a pair of underclassman and upperclassman who'd known each other once.

but of course it's never that easy.

he pops up when you least expect it, running into you frequently even though the rumors articulated “you'd hardly get a glimpse of him since he's busy all the time” clearly. and he's acquainted with people you know well, just that you never paid attention to it; keqing seems to respect him a lot, so does xiao, ganyu perks up whenever he's brought up in conversations, and childe sticks to him when given the opportunity. perhaps it was only a matter of time that you begin a friendship with him as well...

but what's up with these horribly timed drama tropes you keep experiencing with him?!

bumping into him and dropping your books to the floor so he offers to walk you to the library, locked into a room when a professor asks you to collect materials for class with him and the door has a faulty knob, getting photographed by a student while you study in the same table and everyone assumes you're dating,,

you've been seeing far too much of him.

everyone's patience has been wearing thin. xiao tries his best to keep his annoyance at bay but fails. childe has resorted to bribing zhongli for free lunch to lead him away from you. albedo straight up drags you to the opposite direction whenever he spots zhongli within vicinity.

but it's like there's a force of nature compelling you to stick right back to him.

hosting events for college fests had never been your kind of thing, but attention follows you if you're acquainted with famous people, and keqing was unwilling to be an emcee if she didn't have a friend alongside her to act as a second host. of course, that meant everyone was deadset on dragging you with her.

you're not very keen on standing on a stage to face the whole school like a kid participating in a talent show, but you've never been good at saying “no” to your friends.

hence why you find yourself clutching on a microphone now, blinded by bright stage lights. you would much prefer if you were part of the audience. or if you were in ayaka's place instead, holding up cue cards behind the curtains.

there's some kind of beauty pageant going on, a popularity contest for the prettiest people in uni. votes are collected via online polls, and you're tasked to reveal the top 10. you don't doubt for a second your friends will all join you on stage eventually, and you've already asked ganyu to drag xiao up the platform if he tries to escape. sweeping off a piece of confetti by your shoulder, you flip open the folden paper in your hand and announce the winning names.

zhongli steps up as one of the candidates for first place and you faintly hear gasps of awe and high pitched squeals.

you nod at him in acknowledgement, and he returns the gesture in kind. you head on over to hand him a mic of his own, keqing busying herself by doing the same job for other contestants, and...

in your carelessness, distracted by fumbling with the paper in your hand to hide it back inside your pocket, you trip over an electrical cord.

you've been waiting the entire night for the time where you'll eventually embarrass yourself in front of a crowd. perhaps a voice crack in what's supposed to be a tense situation, a stutter in your words, falling off a stage even, but here it is, even more horrifying than what you could've imagined.

squeezing your eyes shut instinctively, you brace yourself for the hard surface to tumble onto. instead, what meets you is something squishy, someone's hands gripping around your shoulders, and-

FUCK. you banged your knees on the ground.

the first thing to pop in your mind is a myriad of swears that could stun a sailor.

the second is the oddly plush surface your lips had landed on.

the third is the sight of widened golden eyes. they look very familiar. but you'd rather not think about who they belong to.

the ugly screech of the microphone dropping to the floor is drowned out by gasps, yelling, and the scandalized choke of keqing behind you. xiao — who did end up being a contender for the stupid popularity contest and is standing only a few meters away, makes an alarming noise that could trigger a person's fight or flight reaction.

you hastily attempt to rise to your feet, but the floor is slippery what the actual fuck, and zhongli, oh for fuck's sake, innocent and oblivious zhongli grabs your hips to keep you steady.

.....of course the accidental kiss and caught in a compromising position tropes were going to happen eventually.

kaeya:

“it's from me.”

your gaze travels from the fresh, new bouquet of flowers emitting a sweet fragrance lying in your arms, and the face of the man currently standing before you, lips curled in what seems to be a supposedly reassuring smile.

“you mean... this and the carnations last time?”

his lips are still firmly quirking upwards, admirably patient in spite of reiterating the same phrase over and over again whenever probed with your repetitive questions.

still, he doesn't quite give off the impression of someone deeply infatuated.

and okay, not to be narcissistic, but you expected a secret admirer to... well, admire you more, yet this person looks as nonchalant as ever.

and he doesn't look like the type to profess love through subtle means. at all.

you'll be blunt. you've heard of kaeya. who hasn't? whether it be of mischief, or something more scandalous in nature, he's more or less always involved with trouble, gossip about him traveling fast. it may be an insane prank in the boys' dormitory or someone he bedded (who's supposedly out of everyone's league, yet fell for his charms so easily), you hear of his name quite often.

it's just that you didn't expect you'd associate yourself with him...

and if you have at least two brain cells to rub together, you can easily piece together the conclusion: this guy is definitely talking out of his ass.

nobody has ever heard of kaeya pining over someone so badly that he personally sent bouquets and other small gifts to appease them, admiring them from the shadows. it's so clearly not his style. if he likes someone, he'd flirt with them a bit and cleverly worm his way into their heart, and absolutely not give away presents expecting nothing in return.

but if he's not your secret admirer, then for what reason is he pretending like he is?

you want to seek the truth, and playing along for the meantime sounds like the best option. and this may draw out the real secret admirer, the sly part of you voices internally.

thinking it'll be rude to turn him down publicly (since of course he initiated this exchange in the middle of a crowd, and that only gives you more reason to doubt him), you decide to see how things go first.

if anything, this whole “wooing” business with kaeya seems like it's done out of spite. does he have a bone to pick with you? or he made one of those stupid “it'll only take a week for you to fall for me” bets with his friends? hopefully not, because that's terribly out of trend.

your indifferent responses do nothing to deter him from sticking to you like glue though, doing this and that to earn your favor. he's... not doing anything wrong, actually. if you didn't know any better, you'd think he's like any other eager guy who wants to receive your love.

he does a great job of remembering what things you like and dislike, making a habit of inviting you out for a meal in your favorite restaurants every now and then or taking note of what movies you're looking forward to so you could watch it in the cinema together.

... it feels more like hanging out with normal friends now.

kaeya eases into the idea of that notion, too, insisting on meeting you outside of his shady “i'm your secret admirer” business. it doesn't take too long until you begin to reach out to him as well, inviting him to go shopping with you to look at jewelry together (and dear lord, does kaeya know how to accessorize) or giving him a ticket to the amusement park when kokomi bails on you. (“so i' m just a rebound? a back-up plan?” kaeya arches a questioning brow, acting deeply hurt to provoke a reaction. you smack his shoulder and he laughs in mirth.)

(he definitely tries for the “let's go to the haunted house so you can cling to me when you're scared” cliche but fails. why does he feel disappointed though...)

if given more time, maybe the time would come where you'll both just shrug off the secret admirer thing and continue on normally as friends. it'll be the last thing on your minds, a joke that never had a punchline. just some prank kaeya didn't see through the end.

but then it resurfaces when kaeya had already given you your daily dose of coffee — yes, he somehow knows the secret recipe you like, something you plan to ask him about later — but another cup is waiting at your desk, its once warm temperature turning lukewarm.

you inspect it, judging for yourself, and you confirm it's the same recipe you like.

so this one is from the real secret admirer then, the one who's still hiding in the shadows. that, or this recipe is just popular.

the people residing in the same room as you observe the scene with interest, because apparently your romance drama became a spectator sport, stares pinned in kaeya's direction.

you knew he was a fraud from the very start, but others do not, and he's not sure what to say.

someone else makes the excuse for him. “do you have another person who likes you, [name]?” amber asks innocently, essentially saving kaeya's ass without her realizing it. you let your gaze shift from her to kaeya.

“...maybe.” you place the two cups of coffee side-by-side, feigning nonchalance.

if the real secret admirer found out that someone's pretending to be him, this must be his way of saying kaeya's a fraud in front of everyone. after all, if he was actually the secret admirer, there'd be no need for kaeya to give you another cup when he'd already placed one on top of your desk.

and a couple of people already know who the real one is, anyway. xiao just doesn't want to tell you.

kaeya sends what seems to be a longing gaze your way but ends up turning away to head to his own classroom. he'd only offered to walk you towards yours, and you didn't share classes. it gives you more time to ponder how to confront him.

you didn't have to. he explained things himself.

it comes in the time you least expect, a peaceful lunch like any other. he suddenly arrived at your table, tray in hand, and sat opposite of you. “it's not me,” is the first thing he says, no context at all. he admits the obvious truth and you shovel more food in your mouth in your hopes of hiding how curious you are for what else he has to say.

“but i know who's been giving you flowers... and the coffee. also the chocolate the other day. i helped him pick out the presents, actually.” and that's where you choke because that's not what you were expecting at all.

“he was considering sending a love letter, but i told him you'd recognize his handwriting because you know him very well. and he refused to give a printed letter because he thought it was 'lacking' and you deserved better than that.” he scoffed at the thought. “and that's cute of him. endearing, if you will. but he seriously pissed me off last month and i wanted to mess with him a bit.”

“so you... tried to date the person he likes?” your expression sours. that's a dick move. he immediately shakes his head, as if to say perish the thought.

“not that. i knew for a fact you wouldn't like me anyway. i was just teasing him,” kaeya huffs. “and he got angry at me. well, it's a justified reaction. but i didn't plan on keeping up the charade for long. i only wanted to fool around for a few days.”

“and then?”

“...i missed the timing to pass it off as a joke. then we started to hang out like friends. but i assured him that you didn't actually think i was the real secret admirer, so he forgave me as long as i... do some work for him.”

oh. he's right about that though. and that also explains why kaeya looked so tired recently, helping out a friend with his project as a sincere apology.

“does he plan on revealing his identity anytime soon?” you can't help but ask, your eager eyes betraying the nonchalance in your voice. kaeya sighs at that, leaning back on his chair and crossing his arms.

“i've been trying to convince him to. it's exhausting to look at him flailing about like an idiot. he talks about you all the time.” he frowns at the way your cheeks color. “you should try luring him out.”

you tilt your head in question. to show his point, he reaches out his arm, grabbing your hand. you let him do as he pleases, even as he brings the spoonful of your meal to his lips, and takes a bite out of it.

distantly, you hear a metal clatter against the floor and a voice cry out in surprise. you turn your head towards the noise, and you see—

the hell. it's just bennett tripping.

... but it's not like bennett dropped a metal utensil or anything. he is the one who cried out, though.

“wrong direction, sweetheart. you were supposed to look at the right. what a shame, you didn't see him picking up his fork like a fool.” kaeya laughs, releasing your hand from his grip.

he seems strangely reluctant in doing so, but you decide not to look further into it.

scaramouche:

at best, he is an unwilling spectator.

emphasis on “unwilling” because he truly does not wish to see you. like at all. you're pretty sure he hates your guts, but he'd amassed a lifetime's worth of misfortune and keeps seeing you... and the guys around you.

it's safe to say if your love life was turned into a k-drama, he'd probably seen the entire series.

he'd walked in on you when childe confessed he likes you, purple eyes narrowed into a sharp glare before he turned on his heel and left the room. he'd seen the way xiao looks at you, starstruck and excruciatingly fond, because of course scaramouche sat beside him in class (long, long ago they settled a mutual agreement to not speak to each other unless necessary, even if they hadn't verbally discussed it). he'd seen you at diluc's cafe, too, when diluc poured coffee at the angry customer. scaramouche's clothes were stained, as he was the customer sitting beside your table.

he'd seen you with kazuha when kazuha came to pick you up in the rain. he'd seen albedo draw sketches of you in the corner of his notes. he'd seen thoma with you while out for grocery shopping. he'd seen gorou follow after you not unlike a loyal puppy.

he's, reasonably, tired of seeing your stupid face and your stupid harem and he hates you.

by the looks of it, none of your friends like him. especially mona. she had a few arguments with him already. they didn't mix well, and scaramouche liked poking fun of the astrology she loved, a firm disbeliever of such things. “how is my birthday supposed to dictate my personality? or my relationship status? is this fortune-telling? tell me, then. what's my lucky color for the day-” and he only shut up when mona landed a clean kick to his shin.

...yeah. he's kind of an asshole. the type to scowl 24/7, glare at you for no reason, and bump into you without apologizing. then when you do try to make small talk to alleviate the awkward atmosphere, he scoffs and pointedly ignores you.

but you can't blame him for finding you and... the guys following you irritating. you imagine it must be an eyesore for outsiders. there's already quite a bit of rumors about you going around seducing men (and women, you add, because apparently you can't be friends with pretty girls without having those kinds of intentions... and yoimiya and ayaka could be somewhat touchy) and rumors are almost always wildly changed with each pass of gossip from one person to another.

of course your friends don't believe it one bit and are ready 24/7 to defend your honor, but scaramouche is very obviously not your friend, and he may regard you with something less than pleasing.

it's only understandable you're caught by surprise when you chance upon him picking a fight with people badmouthing you, shoving a boy to the wall with brute force you wouldn't expect from someone his size. (you berate yourself for making fun of his height in this kind of situation.)

“shut the fuck up,” scaramouche drawls out, fisting the boy's shirt collar. “your voice is grating to the ears. surely, you have better things to do than yap nonsensical bullshit out in the open?”

“what's your fucking problem?!” the guy responds, panicking within his grip. “it's not like we were talking about you! don't think so highly of yourself!”

that prompts a scoff from him, and he tightens his hold on the boy's collar. he immediately shuts his mouth, thinking it better not to retaliate. scaramouche's glare promises something beyond simple violence if he continued to act prideful.

somwhat satisfied by the fear glistening in the guy's eyes, scaramouche finally releases him. “scram.”

the group runs off, and you quickly duck behind a wall to hide from his sight as he walks away. you're not sure what to feel, conflicted by his usual prick demeanor and shockingly kind(?) actions behind the scenes.

unfortunately, your confusion reflects directly on your face. after a handful of times catching you staring at him, he finally snaps, “what do you want.”

your expression twists into something complex, and scaramouche's frown deepens. “uh... no, it's nothing, really...”

“you've been looking at me all day. do you take me for a fool?”

your face sours. so much for planning to thank him. maybe he didn't stand up for you and actually just found the noisy gossiping annoying enough to choke a guy and pin him to the wall. if it's scaramouche, it isn't too far-fetched at all.

and what were you going to say to him, anyway? it's not like he explicitly stated he did it for you. it would be beyond mortifying if you thanked him for it and he clarified that little detail, thinking you were stuck-up enough to assume the world revolves around you.

... no, that's too much overthinking, isn't it...

“well?” scaramouche impatiently taps his foot, raising an eyebrow expectantly. you hold back a defeated sigh and decide to stay put.

“sorry if i made you uncomfortable. i was, um, looking at...” who does he sit with again? “xiao!” you mentally apologize to your friend, using his name as an excuse.

impossibly, he becomes more irate than before, his taps ceasing into a calm quiet. the silence pierces more than the tense conversation prior.

without another word, he walks away.

...well. okay. that was safely evaded.

life continues on per usual. you don't interact for the next week, and you want to leave it at that.

except your life is a joke. a romantic comedy you never wanted to be a part of.

...you're assigned to a group project. with him. with childe too, no less. the childe who confessed his love to you not too long ago and you still have problems wrapping your head around it, not sure how to talk with him like you did before.

amidst this drama, scaramouche is stuck smack dab between you. he's unquestionably furious.

he's present when childe looks at you in the same excruciating way xiao does. he's present when childe tries to make jokes to ease off the tension, and it doesn't work in the slightest. he's present in the lingering gazes, awkward pauses when you graze fingers as you hand materials to each other, and reluctant conversations that never last any longer than seven clipped sentences.

scaramouche feels wronged. had he committed a war crime in his past life to deserve this despair?

and you. you just want to get this over with. collect information, make a powerpoint, and present in front of the whole class. easier said than done.

the three of you together doesn't sit right with you, but left with only two isn't any better either. childe and scaramouche don't get along if you leave them long enough for an argument to brew. scaramouche hates you and doesn't fill the silence when childe leaves for a bathroom break. childe tries too hard to talk when scaramouche leaves for a coffee break.

when the first day of working together ends, you nearly cry tears of joy.

“i can walk you home,” childe offers out of goodwill. it's certainly not because he has other intentions in mind, he's just concerned since it is pretty late.

“we take the same bus,” scaramouche speaks, for the first time joining your conversation. “we can go together.”

childe smiles in relief, lifting a hand to ruffle your hair. then he stills. old habits die hard. damn.

for his sake, you don't comment on it. you walk out of the library, scaramouche in tow.

the stroll to the empty bus stop isn't a comfortable one, but at the very least, you're accompanied by an acquaintance and you don't have to feel anxious being alone. you take a seat as you wait but scaramouche chooses to remain standing, placing a fair amount of distance between you.

“...you haven't made up?”

his voice is small, almost swallowed by the howling winds. you're surprised he wants to talk about it, but you laugh. “we didn't fight or anything.”

“fighting would've been better,” he replies. “an apology could still repair your relationship. but there's nothing you can do if you don't see him that way, and he can't see you as a friend.”

you look down at your feet, heels resting firmly against the pavement. “yes... it's tricky. i don't know how to act around him. i don't want to hurt him, but... maybe not rejecting him is painful, too.”

“then turn him down properly.”

“it's not that easy...”

“would you rather him still have hopes for a chance with you and eventually get disappointed instead of dealing with it once and for all?”

he makes an excellent point. it's reasonable enough... but you don't know how to bring it up with childe. not now. not yet. you'll have to think about it properly, the way to reject him with the least amount of discomfort from his side.

“receiving relationship advice from you... if someone told me this would happen today, i'd think they've gone mad.” you chuckle. “do you deal with friends whining about hardships like these often?”

“apparently, they think of me — someone who has no interest in dating — as the perfect person to consult for relationship problems.”

“hm? you don't date? do you like anyone, at least?”

he gives you a look. it's perfectly blank, devoid of his usual arrogance or irritation. you blink at him, the pause in the conversation stretching too long to be comfortable.

“you could say that. but i don't... try things i know won't work out.”

“...like?”

he rolls his eyes. “think about it this way.” he removes his hands from his pockets, approaching your seated figure. he comes startlingly close, mere centimeters away, and his fingers curl around your wrist. your lips part and close, and you wonder if he's trying to kiss your knuckles-

“if i told you now that i like you, with this many people who like you too, there's no way i'd win, is there?”

it's an example, you tell yourself. you asked him a question and he answered it.

“...so the one you like is popular...”

but his gaze looking directly into your eyes is too earnest, too honest. sincere. light reflects against the violet pools, a turbulent storm clouding within.

you neither nod nor shake your head. the bus arrives and you scramble to get on it.

scaramouche pulls you by the wrist when you nearly trip over the small set of stairs, leading you to a pair of seats. if you have something to be grateful for, it's that he doesn't try to talk anymore, using the pair of headphones resting by his neck for the rest of the ride.

itto:

itto barges into your life in a whirlwind of chaos.

it comes in the form of a stray volleyball plummeting towards your back, and the sheer force behind it knocks the wind out of your lungs. your knees buckle and you kneel on the floor, heaving violent gasps of air. the searing pain makes you wonder if you broke your spine.

distantly, a screech bellows from the court. a figure almost flies past the gymnasium's doors to check on your condition. “are you okay?!” it's gorou, you realize, his eyes blown wide with panic.

you don't want to worry him and say you feel as if you've permanently shattered a bone, but your back hurts like a bitch and you tell him so, “fuck me with a hammer, did a bowling ball crash into me or something?”

he ignores your interesting choice of words and answers, “my friends and i were playing volleyball, i'm so sorry! we didn't see you there at all!”

you steer your sight to the gymnasium entrance and oh my god. the doors aren't especially massive, and one of them is even closed, so what are the chances you walk past the small space and precisely get slammed by a stray ball? it's gotta be lower than a five star drop in gacha.

“can you stand?” gorou holds up a hand for you to take but you really can't move away from your fetal position without an explosion of ache jolting through your body. he's three seconds away from offering to carry you when someone else beats him to it.

“did you get hurt?!” a blur of white hair passes through your eyes, and you blink up at an unfamiliar man. gorou's friend, you're guessing, most likely the one who injured you too — that powerful force from the volleyball could only come from someone like him. tall, athletic, muscular. he's ripped. shredded. probably tore your muscle fibers too.

you don't let the pain cloud your mind. he didn't mean to kill you, you remind yourself. you stretch your lips into a smile, but it may just look like a grimace.

however, with a gentleness you didn't expect from him, he carefully hoists you on his back. oh. he's strong. and really warm.

...sticky with sweat too, but you'll try not to mind it too much...

“i'll carry you to the infirmary!”

your brain clears up from the haze of agony. “...wait, you don't have to-” before you get another word in, he rushes to the clinic, and you bypass many, many people. you settle for hiding your face as best as you can.

after proper treatment, he gives you a serious apology. you learn his name is itto, and you instantly recognize him. you've heard of the name itto before, that one popular student on a sports scholarship for basketball, but he's known more for goofing off with other sports teams. he's broken a lot of windows when he played baseball... and probably also broke bones of other people when he roughhoused too much on the soccer field. it's just that he's insanely talented, enough for most people to overlook his troublesome tendencies.

anyhow, famous or infamous, you can't tell yet. but he's very much willing to make up for your injury.

a free meal would honestly suffice just fine, but even after that, he insists on following you around, offering his assistance whenever needed. and, well. you have no problems with having an extra hand to help when you need to carry heavy equipment.

then he learns about the whole secret admirer thing and he proposes he'll help you lure him out.

“and how do you intend to do that...?” you inquire just as you enter the lecture hall, itto trailing after you and setting your bag on the table. his face splits into a grin and you have a vague idea of what he plans on doing.

he wraps an arm around your shoulders and tugs you close to his chest.

several things happen at once. a huff leaves xiao's mouth involuntarily. the crack of pencil lead breaking into pieces sounds from beside him, scaramouche holding the pen in his hand with too much force. the laughter ringing seconds prior comes to a halt, childe's face no longer displaying a bright smile.

itto blinks, retracting his arm. he didn't expect this outcome. “you have really overprotective friends, [name].”

as one would expect, you never got the results you want because too much people react to his provocations. it's tricky to pinpoint which one of them exactly is your secret admirer when they all like you the same. (this whole situation is truly absurd. it's not that you fed all these guys love potions by accident, right?)

itto doesn't dare upsetting gorou with this though, but with anyone else, it's free game. he begins calling you the most ridiculous pet names he could come up with, in the wrong place and in the wrong time.

my precious cupcake. my sweetest honeybun. little ducky. snugglepuff. they send shivers down your spine. (albedo is noted to be most affected when itto does this. it's not hard to imagine his brain cells frying when itto shamelessly calls you by such awful names.)

but then it becomes a habit. he's not doing it ironically anymore. his mouth had become accustomed to addressing you in manners only lovers do. more often than not, your friends would be caught by surprise when he wholeheartedly calls out “babe” to earn your attention and you turn towards him as if it's like the most natural thing in the world.

the cherry on top is when you attend one of his games for the basketball team.

it's not like you wore his varsity jacket to rub into everyone's faces the fact that you're dating. nor did you wear a cheerleader outfit of some sorts to show your passionate support as his significant other. you'd only come with gorou and kokomi, waving the banner the three of you made into the air as you were seated in the stands along the sides of the court.

when they won the finals, people on your side all rejoiced, flocking over to the team to praise them and offer their congratulations. thinking it would be better to stand by instead of joining the sweaty crowd, you stood aside with kokomi while gorou insisted on diving headfirst to the sea of people.

then a tall head approaches from afar. white hair, bright eyes, and a similarly blinding smile. “[name]!”

you didn't expect him to come to you. well. spares you the effort then. you throw a towel around his neck. “you're drenched in sweat. please don't touch me.”

he frowns. “not even a congratulatory hug?”

“not when you're this gross.”

at least that wasn't a stern no. itto grins. “wasn't i great out there?” he cards his fingers into his hair, fishing for compliments. you thought he had enough of those from the crowd currently swarming him. “i did a ton of 3 pointers. you saw me, right?”

“would you be disappointed if i said i was on my phone the whole time?”

immediately, his face twists into an offended look. of course that was a lie. you laugh and lean on the tips of your toes to reach his hair, ruffling it into a mess. “kidding. you were amazing, babe.”

that moment, you hadn't seen his expression clearly, occupied with patting his head. perhaps you hadn't even realized what you called him.

but to everyone around you, they could see it, plain to the eye — the shock in his gaze, the small twitch of his lips, the rise of his brows. then his cheeks flush a lovely color as he stares at you under his lashes with a hesitance as one would look at the sun, longing to admire its radiance yet afraid to be scorched by its brilliant rays.

he takes the leap anyways, staring at you as long as he wanted.

a lovestruck fool, keen to your touch.

your secret admirer.

relatively speaking, it's an ordinary day so far.

or as ordinary as it can be with a life as silly as yours. the past few weeks didn't feel real. you wish they weren't. everything has become too complicated. everyone kept on acting suspiciously and skirting around you, avoiding eye contact only to observe you from behind.

your day starts out seeing thoma when you open your front door, both of you telling each other good morning. you pass by kazuha having breakfast at a fast food joint. then you run into itto first thing in the morning, where he gladly helps in carrying a 3d model of your project into class. kaeya swings by to bring you coffee since you didn't get a chance to visit diluc's cafe, not having the extra hand to carry among the pile you already have. you make your daily greetings, saying hi to your friends and annoying xiao, as you always do. you nod towards scaramouche, and you even had enough courage to say hi first to childe too. when walking to another lecture hall, you happen to meet albedo, gorou and zhongli in separate times.

then at lunch time, when you briefly leave your belongings alone for a moment, someone leaves a packet of candies stuffed into your bag.

a sticky note is stuck on the surface, “please meet me at the physics classroom at 6 p.m.” scrawled in black ink.

the penmanship is good. it twists in elegant curls at the edges, brush strokes light and even.

you're able to recognize it at first glance, just as kaeya has told you.

you've seen it enough times to burn it in your brain. you've rigorously studied notes with that same handwriting, after all.

at 5:56, you stand in front of the classroom doors. in different circumstances, you'd have second thoughts before blindly following somebody's orders but you know who it's from, and it is decidedly not a murderer out to get you.

you collect an intake of breath, and twist the doorknob.

the last traces of sunlight bathe the room in a heavenly glow, a haze of aureate like shimmering flecks of gold. the billowing curtains hide the figure standing by the windowsill, the gentle breeze caressing your cheeks as you squint in its direction.

the figure moves of their accord, the sound of a book snapping shut following their actions.

albedo walks out, a serene smile displaying on his sun-kissed face.

“...hey.”

your heartbeat pounds in your ears. though you expected his appearance, it does nothing to dull your surprise.

“it's you.”

albedo had always admired you in quiet adoration.

he can't provide a clear explanation why his gaze is naturally drawn to you, turquoise eyes sweeping by your countenance before he realizes it. but it started out simple, as everything does: a curiosity piqued, when he heard of a person tagging along the supposedly unapproachable girls in school.

gossip comes and goes every season, and albedo knew it will pass soon. it's only a matter of time before they cling to another topic to babble about. most likely something kaeya did again, because he chases after trouble like a dog with a bone.

rumors are nasty. they paint you in malicious light, a person seeking attention among the most eye-catching lot. you wished you were on the same league as them, they said. you were only after the benefits of acquainting with those girls, they said.

but you were special on your own.

the way you carried yourself with confidence, against the judgmental stares and muddled opinions. the way you hadn't cared about what other people said, because you knew best about the situation and you were different from what they made you out to be. the way you genuinely loved your friends, sincerely wishing them happiness and doing everything you can to put a smile on their faces.

you were dazzling.

your laughter rang like bells in his ears, your grin a delight to see. your voice was melodious as you prattled on about the latest film you watched, or as you hummed a song with headphones covering your ears. your colorful expressions were amusing, a reflection of the feelings in your heart.

as the professor drones out during lessons, albedo finds himself distracted by his daydreams. what if he stood beside you? what if he could partake in conversations, not only able to hear your voice but you'd also hear his? what if he was the one faced with your smile, the reason of your smile, the one who made you feel such joy?

what if you permitted him to go further? to brush hands with you, to intertwine your fingers in simple intimacy, to curl his arms around your waist in a loose embrace, to press a kiss on the corner of your lips-

his ears burned in humiliation. what on earth was he thinking?

but forget “seeking attention from others,” it didn't even seem like you were interested in dating.

you showed indifference towards the idea, avoiding mixers and drinking parties. you also turned down quite a few dates. not to mention albedo wasn't even friends with you. he wasn't even sure if you knew of his name.

then you showed up at the library, and for the first time, albedo was thankful for the privilege nobody bothered his table, so you could sit alone together.

you became friends after his (despairingly embarrassing) insistent attempts to acquaint himself with you.

and he files away the little details, storing the small things about you in the corner of his mind. what you like, what you dislike. what days were you free, what things you prefer over the other.

it's a happiness he relishes in, the comfort of your friendship. but his greedy little heart yearns for more, for what you cannot give.

he tries anyway.

he's running out of time. you're always surrounded by people, whether you realize it or not. but he considers himself a selfish person. he doesn't want you to be taken away.

he may lose you entirely if he does it wrong.

but you're already here, eyes gleaming, lips pressed in a nervous tight line. the red dusting your cheeks leaves some hope for him, so he musters up his courage and simplifies the storm of feelings that eats away his heart each day:

“i like you, [name].”

---