I Love That Zhu Is Like, "Let's Go! Let's Do This!" About Getting Into The Caves With An Underwater Entrance

capybara #130: pov he saw you holding a slice of watermelon

we’re up to 4.

If Trump goes to prison during pride month I will literally never stop laughing like to charge reblog to cast give me all of your evil thoughts and prayers for this freak to get his first ever consequence.

LIKEEEE

(spoilers under the cut)

to explain the context of this song (would've could've should've from midnights) taylor is talking about how if she never met the man who groomed her at a young age, she never would've experienced many things that resulted in her losing her innocence so quickly.

obvi this situation isn't super specific to donald, but i think you get how it speaks to how if his whole...childhood situation didn't happen he'd never have sold his soul with the union. he'd have grown into a sweet and kind boy who loves chocolate and is the top of his class and is en route to becoming a future nasa engineer, but now he's the boss of a criminal empire and is committing real estate fraud. he runs from his memories now that he's older, from the feeling of being weak and pitiful, being bullied in school and beat up by his stepdad at home with his new persona.

he's too terrified to confront the past and hides from it under the illusion of strength, but simultaneously he holds it close as a reminder of what might become of him if he doesn't keep striving, keep working till he dominates anything and everything.

the way taylor sings the bridge is so full of ??desperation?? the chorus is fast-paced, with a tone of regret and anguish that creates anticipation for the bridge. which taylor delivers, by the way, bc if the tone of the chorus is one of despair and haunting memories, the bridge practically blares it in your face!!

'God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be' carries resignation and hopelessness, and it reminds me of how donald transformed himself completely into someone he hated. he covered himself head to toe in tattoos even though they disgusted him, pierced every available inch of skin on his ears and his face (thank Razen he didnt get a nose piercing though🙏🙏THAT WAS NEVER THE MOVE) and bought those expensive but scary ass clothes just so he could pull off his 'intimidating' image. he invested so much time and so much money...for what?

i read on Genius.com that 'the tomb won't close' means taylor can't find peace with her situation despite trying. similarly, donald has never stopped hurting because of his past, yet he doesn't confront it. he runs from the pain in an attempt to escape without realising he's just running in circles.

verse three has GOT to be my favourite part in the song. you can really feel the frustration delivered by the last two lines of the song as the pitch and speed increases (soz hope im not wrong in saying this). it reminds me of how donald initially felt ashamed of the helplessness displayed in his childhood and adamant that he never experience it again, versus donald right before his death, finally looking back on his younger self with love and protectiveness.

it also holds the feeling that you get when you feel as if something has been taken from you. donald feels the unfairness of his childhood and innocence being robbed from him at such an early age. he mourns the injustice that his younger self was treated with, and my personal interpretation is that he wishes he could change it. it's normal when you feel like something was stolen from you...which in his case, it most definitely was.

donald is also SUCH a mirrorball girly. yes, he's always been a natural at everything (he's strong, he's smart, and he's sexy. what CAN'T he do?) but he's done nothing but try all his life. he had to work so hard from such an early age, and he could never stop to take a break, because if he stops, he dies. his mom is dead. his stepdad has left him. he's a newly orphaned 13 year old with no money and no school. if he doesn't look after himself, he passes away on the streets.

he never wanted to do crime. even in the union, he wanted to gravitate more towards the business parts of his job. he never got to experience a life where he got to do what he wanted rather than have to fight for survival all the time. he never got the option to learn that he doesnt have to live the rest of his life punished for his poverty and broken home.

because yk, there wasn't a 'rest of his life'.

the archer is another song. don't think i have to explain how the first couple of lyrics express the loneliness he felt in his journey to the top, but ARGHHHH!! the lines 'i cut off my nose just to spite my face, then hate my reflection for years and years...' it's so him, covering his whole body with tatts knowing he'll feel repulsed everytime he looks in the mirror.

the rest of the verse imo, embody the panic and trauma he must've felt with his circumstances that he probably subdued while he was alive.

i bet on losing dogs and class of 2013 by mitski are also honorable mentions

so kudos to taylor for being able to write music that panders not just to academically burnt out eldest daughters but also seventeen year old mafia bosses created by (assumably) generational poverty and a screwed up system

@weakhero-diaries

do you guys get it if i say donald na is taylor swift coded

what a nerd😯😯

Chain of Command Chapter 4

Having a full time job working for a criminal empire had unexpected cons, and missing meals on the regular was one of them.

It was 9.40pm in Seoul, and Bambi was on the bus home from work with an empty stomach. After her talk with Forrest Lee at Hyeongshin, she had a bunch of tasks that took a couple more hours to complete before she could finally clock out and head home. 

She regretted her choice of not eating before she left for home; she wanted to reach her house quickly so she could start on her boatload of school work, and now she was paying for it with absolutely crippling gastric pains. Just because she had a high rank in the Union didn’t mean she had the physical endurance of her subordinates.  

The bus she was on hadn’t been doing a very good job of delivering her to her destination quickly either, driving so slowly the entire ride that Bambi was surprised it hadn’t been pulled over as a safety hazard, and suddenly coming to a halt at the red light, just metres from her stop. She let out a heavy sigh, unconcerned with the sharp look that the lady sitting next to her gave her. 

It seemed like the universe was determined to kill her from starvation. Forget getting home to do work, she was gonna die in this bus. If she waited any longer, a flock of vultures would probably start circling around her head.

As if it had heard her internal complaints, the light turned green, and the bus started to move again, making its way to her stop. Fucking finally. Maybe God does exist.

The doors of the bus slid open, and fresh air gushed in, tickling Bambi’s face as she stepped off the vehicle and into the outside world. Though the bus wasn’t carrying many people, the streets of Yeongdeungpo were still full, and the bright lights and heavy traffic made it feel like it was still day.

Her apartment was only a quick walk from the bus stop, so it wouldn’t take too long for her to reach home and get dinner from the convenience store underneath, but the short trip didn’t stop her from brisk walking as swiftly as possible in order to arrive as soon as she possibly could. Perhaps running would’ve allowed her to reach faster, but that made her sweaty, and depleted the little energy in her famished body that she had left after her long day of work. Screw this job, seriously. 

At least her boss and her coworkers (which was. Just Kingsley) suffered the same fate. And honestly, she thought she had it better than they did. Maybe keeping the delinquents in check was tiring, but it was the lesser of two evils. Kingsley’s job of following Donald around the whole day sounded fucking boring- she’d sat in on some of Donald’s meetings herself and she nearly fell asleep every time. And she couldn’t even imagine being Donald Na himself. 

Speaking of Donald and Kingsley, she wondered what the two of them were doing at the moment. They usually wrapped up around nine, but sometimes their business matters leached into their free time, and they wouldn’t get off work until ten or so-

Her phone rang, snapping her out of her own thoughts.

She rolled her eyes as she checked the caller ID. Speak of the devil.

“What?” 

“We’re having dinner.” Kingsley Kwan’s monotonic voice was muffled by the sounds of traffic, and she pressed her ear closer to her phone in order to hear what he was saying. “I’ve sent you the location. Do you want to join us?” 

No need to guess what ‘we’ meant. Unless Kingsley had very suddenly (and very uncharacteristically) added a new person to his social circle, which Bambi thought was as likely as him growing an extra head, or perhaps changing his hairstyle to something more fashionable, it meant he was having dinner with Donald Na.

Which also meant, they were probably at some nice, expensive restaurant, while she was brisk walking home deluding herself into believing that she wasn’t actually that hungry anyways. 

She sighed exaggeratedly as she considered her options, loud enough for Kingsley to hear. By the time she reached the restaurant, they’d probably already be done with their meal. What a shame; Donald always paid too.

“So nice of you to think of me, Kingsley.” She said into the phone, a sneer apparent in her voice. She knew he wouldn’t take it seriously anyways. “But I’m nearly home. Sorry.”

She and Kingsley were sort of friends, where they both understood and cared for one another, except with the care part left out.

Due to the isolating nature of their jobs, Kingsley was the only person she hung around on an everyday basis who also worked directly for Donald. The large amount of time that they both spent around each other led to a mutual understanding between the two; they could empathise with each other’s problems, hold a conversation without it being awkward, and banter with one another without coming off as overly familiar.

But also because of the nature of their jobs, every interaction with one another was always laced with the underlying awareness that at the end of the day, they’d both choose the wellbeing of the Union over the other. Or in Kingsley’s case, he’d choose Donald over her. 

Like she’d said, the Union benefited from disloyalty.

She paused for a moment, before adding on. “Thank Donald for me.”

“Hold on.” Kingsley’s side of the call was silent for a moment, though she heard hushed talking in the background, and then shuffling like the phone was being passed over. 

“Bambi. How is Hyeongshin doing?” Unlike his second in command, Donald spoke at a slow pace with a lowered voice; a voice that commandeered attention and respect. Even from behind a phone screen, it still put her a little on edge.

“I informed them about the dip in sales. Forrest Lee assured me that he’d take care of it. Other than that, I think they’re handling everything well. Tomorrow they’re heading over to Ganghak to make a pick up for KHG, I told Forrest to inform me once it’s done.”

“Good.”

Donald paused, and Bambi held her breath for whatever might come next. Though it had been ages since she’d last been reprimanded (and she intended to keep it that way) you never really knew with Donald Na. He liked to take his time while speaking to collect his thoughts, unbothered by the nerves of those around him.

“From now on, make sure you keep as close an eye as possible on the executives. Make sure to make use of the observers that I’ve planted around Yeongdeungpo.”

The observers were Union members whose jobs were to bring any suspicious activity to Bambi’s attention so that she could investigate it and take care of the matter. To pluck out any weed before it had the chance to grow. 

“After all that’s happened with Eunjang and Myles’s excommunication, we need some time to restabilise. While that’s happening, we can’t let anyone take advantage of the weakened state of the Union, especially with the new businesses that require our attention. Report anything out of the ordinary to me.”

“...Okay.” Bambi heard silence in response, before the robotic beep of Donald hanging up. 

Donald was right to be concerned. The boys in the Union were the type to cause trouble regardless of how many times Donald Na had demonstrated his power. In order to keep them in line, he’d have to maintain a tight grip on their leashes at all times.

She sighed as she approached the convenience store under her apartment flat. What sounded better, microwave heated pasta or pizza? 

Her mind wandered to the pick up that was due to happen the next day. 

It was just a simple exchange- Ganghak was just transporting the money to Hyeongshin so that they could drop it off again somewhere else. The Union executives did it all time, so there had never been a real need for Bambi to keep an eye on them while doing it. 

Even now, after Donald’s instructions, she doubted that he needed her to watch over every single transaction done in the Union. However, he did order her to observe them as carefully as possible, and she was in the area tomorrow…

She scrolled through Kakaotalk, clicking the call icon on a certain contact as she pushed the door to the store open. 

“Hey Forrest, there’s been a change of plans…”

~

okay so i'm a lot happier with this chapter than my other ones. for one, i gave myself more time to write this. i know i just posted chapter 3 so it might look like i rushed this chapter in two days, but it was actually supposed to be posted on tumblr two weeks ago. i just forgot about it after posting on ao3.

Hi! Could you maybe write a love triangle between Jake and Samuel when they were together in Big Deal. Like the s/o is really kind and catches Sam off guard but also has a fiery side which really intrigues Jake? (And maybe Sinu in the background cheering for Jake bc he's biased??) Thank you, sorry if it's too much❤💜

“Hey, are you going to sleep all day?!”

The calf of your foot became a blur of (s/c) when you kicked the kid before you’s chair, placing your hands on your hips. A screeching noise resounded as the legs of his chair jerked to the side a little, and you saw him stir.

At this school, you saw yourself as at the top of the hierarchy. Wether or not everyone else saw you as the same was… questionable, but your gait expressed your feeling of superiority.

So when you saw the new kid, you veiled your curiosity of himself behind a tough exterior, and approached him when you first saw him - which was sleeping at his desk in a classroom - alone. He grunted out a sigh before lifting his head from his folded elbows, and blinked at you from a lowered angle of his head.

Your face went blank. Shoulders rolling back and stiffening pensively, he could see the gears in your head turning while you just stared.

“... What?” He asked after an eternity of silence, watching your expression gradually grow more surprised the longer you ogled at him. He cocked a brow at you. “Well? Did you just wake me up for the fun of it?” He wasn’t offensive, just curious.

You turned on your heel, and shook your hand dismissively, shoulders still rigid. You waved him off as if saying he was off the hook. “Whatever, I’m not leaving you alone because I think you’re cute, or anything, I’m just feeling especially nice today. Consider yourself lucky.” You said, a dead giveaway of your real intentions.

He blinked slowly at your retreating self, lingering on you for an extended amount of time amusedly before he put his head back in his hands, and resumed his sleep. From the other side of the classroom, he could feel your stare fixate on him up until he drifted asleep again; and from behind black eyelashes, (e/c) optics observed the rise and fall of his shoulders before your eyes fluttered to a close as well, and you lost consciousness.

That was technically the first time you met Jake Kim. But the time he finally noticed you, was only moments after.

When you woke up again, rather than seeing a classroom devoid of people aside from the two of you, your eyes flitted open to see a sea of knocked out students surrounding your seat. Your mouth fell agape, and the shock of it all cleared away the sleepiness in your system.

‘What happened while I was asleep…?!’

You lifted yourself up on your elbows with wide eyes scanning the room around you, when the kid you’d disturbed from sleep earlier turned the corner to enter the classroom. He seemed taken aback at the fact that you were finally awake, and leaned against the doorway, observing the room.

“Did you do all this?” He asked. He knew you didn’t - in fact, he had done it, and he wasn’t sure what had become of him when he asked that. He just felt inclined too. Upon seeing him, you seemed flustered, and defensively leaned back, striking a pose with your arm.

“Y-yeah… yeah! This was all me.” You jabbed a finger to your chest in pride, “I’m a pretty tough person, you see. The guys in this school kind of suck, but don’t worry, ‘cus I can take ‘em if they try and mess with you! They basically cower when they see me.”

Why you answered that way - why you lied, neither of you could really say exactly. As soon as the words had left your mouth, you saw him narrow his eyes, before he smiled almost exasperatedly - like you were a hassle in and of yourself.

None could tell why you’d fibbed, but the way you’d ended the sentence was undeniably your bashful declaration of friendship, and “protection” - as though you were an important part of this school, and he took it.

“Okay, I’ll take you up on that. You’ll need to know my name if you’re gonna be helping me out, right?”

You nodded vigorously, and he pulled himself off the frame of the door. “I’m Jake Kim. You?”

“Uhh…” for whatever reason you seemed starstruck, and had to collect your thoughts before finally responding, “(y/n).”

That was how you had officially met Jake Kim, and how he officially met you.

From then on, you were glued to his side. You swore it was the other way around, but it was clear to see you were the follower here. But regardless of who played what role, it was clear as day that you and him were attached by the hip.

It was only natural that, when he joined Big Deal, you followed suit. You followed him everywhere he went - and it was expected you’d go there, too.

And that was the first time you met Samuel Seo.

Technically, the very first time you and him met was when you and your friendship group as well as him and Alexander Hwang had lied about being Big Deal to an opposing gang. You’d furiously insisted that you guys weren’t a part of Big Deal, in an attempt to save your asses, and had a huge ‘X’ over your chest as the other gang approached you all - and when you all had ran from the scene, you were the first to bolt - the others following. It wasn’t much of cowardice, more like knowing how you could take on. You talked big, and seemed airheaded - but truth was you weren’t too dull in your senses. But neither of you noticed each other.

You and Samuel knew of each other, but the first time you really met was after you’d all become a real part of Big Deal, and you were pulled your weight by joining the ladies who worked in the shops lining the street. He was always complaining about how you and the ladies were slackers, and skeptic on whether or not you all actually did anything.

You tended to a clothes shop, and he entered with the air of a boss or CEO coming to inspect how well you were working. He had clearly came in ready to accuse you of doing nothing, and with somewhat good reason, as when he entered the clothes were unkempt and you were idly hanging around.

A dress had fallen from a hanger on a rack, and he eyed it, before turning to you. “Do you do anything in here?”

You crossed your arms across your chest with a ‘hmph’. “Uhm, yes!” You said matter-of-factly.

Clearly not satisfied with your answer, he gestured to the dress on the floor.

“Then why is this here?”

“What is this, an interrogation?!” You guffawed, “you know, this job is harder than you think! It isn’t that easy.”

He raised a brow as if saying, ‘oh, really?’, before he bent down and picked up the dress in one motion, saying, “you’re right - it isn’t that easy.” Hanging it on the rack, he then turned to you. “It’s this easy.”

He seemed arrogant, knowing he’d proved you wrong. You felt like a shriveled up sponge underneath his stare, and froze. A squeak of embarrassment left you, and the two of you engaged in eye contact for a prolonged amount of time. It had lasted for so long, he began to view his reflection in the black of your pupils, and the silence was only interrupted by your sudden and stifled, “pfft!”

You covered your mouth with your hand, but that couldn’t hide your chuckles, or the way your shoulders hopped up and down humorously. He blanched.

“What in the world is so funny?”

“I don’t know,” you smiled, “something about you is just funny.” His demeanor was still cold, but you had began to warm up, like melted butter. The edges of your lips turned upwards naturally, taut into a smile by strings of glee, and your smile ran all the way to your eyes. Samuel’s shoulders slumped, and he seemed somehow offended.

Taking a step closer to you, he glared at you. “I’m not funny - I’m the new leader of Big Deal, and your superior.”

You kept your giddy expression. “No - you’re funny, and inviting, aaaaaaand my friend?”

Samuel Seo was always conviniently good at separating beauty from the person. When he saw a pretty girl, or a handsome guy, and liked them - they were beautiful, but he separated their looks from the person. But the source of your beauty came from your person - and you weren’t beautiful, but beauty became you. His eyes widened a fraction at what seemed to be a proposal of friendship, and he blew air out of his nose frustratedly, not sparing you another glance as he left your little shop. You watched his leaving form with a delighted countenance. And that was how you and Samuel Seo truly met each other.

When it came to the receiver of love, it could be hard to tell if someone was expressing camaraderie or wanting of something more. However, from an outsiders’ perspective, it was rather easy to pick up on - and in this case, that outsider was Sinu Han.

There was a look of adoration like no other in your eyes when you’re in love, and that twinkle of endearment was in Jake’s eyes every time he turned to you. The smile on his lips formed itself when you were near, chatting away at him endlessly, and he would merely nod and listen - absorbing your words with a contented look. Like being with you was living a long, fulfilling life in every conversation.

You were crouched on the floor and spooning at the Chinese food from one of the shops in the neighborhood when Sinu’s line of vision spied Jake approaching you, and he grinned, recalling what he was like young and in love - and deciding to give Jake a push, quite literally.

Sinu’s hand pressed against his back, his foot shifting in front of Jake’s to force him to fall. His expression grew panicked as he fell, and a shocked cry left him - causing you to turn around just in time to readjust yourself further back - albeit not back enough. He tumbled down atop of you, one hand breaking his fall and keeping him levitating over you by your head, the other by your lower body.

“Ah - sorry,” he apologized flatly, like his voice and the need to talk was forgotten, the two of you staring at eachother intently. You nodded, mumbling an “it’s okay” plainly, eyes darting back and forth to match his. His face blanched, and then grew red, and the stammer of words lost as soon as they met your lips was your tell of flustered ness. You’d get up - had his hands not caged you on the floor, and you just engaged in eye contact until Sinu slapped him on the back encouragingly.

“Atta boy, Jake!” He said teasingly, simpering. “I didn’t know you were so interested in (y/n). But get a room!”

This seemed to break your shared trance, and he pulled himself up off of you cleanly. “Sorry, (y/n),” he apologized, sending a glare to Sinu behind him, who gave him a non-discreet thumbs up. He could say Sinu tripped him and let you know he didn’t fall on top of you, but that could risk revealing his feelings if you inquired why he’d tripped him over you, so he resorted to a little white lie.

“I didn’t mean to fall on top of you. My bad.”

You shook your hand dismissively, “it’s fine, it’s fine. No harm done.” You said, immediately moving onto another topic - inviting him to eat with you, though it was more like you telling him he would, and he nodded an ‘okay’.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be right back, (y/n).” He excused himself briefly, unaware of the two narrowed eyes following the two of you, who’d seen the whole thing.

Samuel didn’t like the way your name rolled off Jake’s tongue.

He didn’t want to hear it coming from him again.

Samuel had come into your shop indignantly after noticing you and Jake, and sat on the couch by the window without saying a thing to you. When you’d noticed him, you’d greeted him casually, and sat besides him on the couch - noticing two golden knuckle-bracelets caching the light of the sun filtering through.

Absentmindedly, you grabbed his hand and played with the golden accessories, namely the one on his left hand. He hadn’t noticed you pull out a marker with a head full of air when he opened his mouth and began to talk, enjoying the way you fiddled with his fingers.

“Your relationship with Jake. What is it?”

You didn’t pause whatever you were doing with his hand, “we’re best friends. Why?”

He soaked in that information, brooding, pensive. “...” He was hesitant to say what he was going to say next, and whilst the first half of the sentence fell out of his mouth his eyes drifted to your hands and his, “and what are w- are you coloring my ring with marker?”

You snapped up at the furious tone in his voice which he kept controlled, filtering it through hard and impactful words forced out through gritted teeth. Immediately your hands stopped, and you recoiled a bit. “Is that- bad…? I thought it was just a little accessory…”

His brows furrowed downwards angrily, “of course it’s bad, this is a knuckle ring! It’s for fighting! What opponent is gonna be intimidated by someone with a knuckle ring which says-“ he paused to read whatever you’d wrote on his knuckle ring with squinted eyes, “-which says (y/n)!”

You shrunk back into yourself. “Does it wash o-“

You didn’t get to finish your sentence as he began to rub against the marker, the ink not budging. “No! It doesn’t!”

You seemed to be consumed by guilt, “I’m so-“

“Being sorry doesn’t do you a thing.” He cut you off coldly, slumping back against the couch in furious thought. You could see he was absorbing the situation, and he was breathing heavily in anger - so you just sat silently, lips forming an uncertain line.

After a few breaths, he seemed to cool down - and spying the expression on your face which was ridden with regret, he sighed. “... it’s fine.”

Your eyes widened. “Really? But you were so mad.” You frowned.

“I can always buy new ones if need be. Plus, if I have someone’s name on my ring… it makes my opponent think I have a significant other, or something and it-“ he coughed awkwardly, “well, it makes it seem like I have someone to fight for. And that makes me seem all the more dangerous, right?”

You chuckled, the sun pouring in highlighting the side of your face and bedecking your smile, your hands clenched into fists at your knees, still shaken from his small outburst. “... You know how you’re always going don’t interrupt me to people, and hate being talked over?” You asked, standing up to look over his sitting person, “well, you interrupted me, you know. Twice. While you were yelling.” You had a cheeky, playful grin, “what a hypocrite.” You were clearly joking, the sun setting you alight.

He blinked slowly at you, before chuckling. “... You’re right. I did.”

Specks of dust became stagnant under the sun’s glare, making the scene between the two of you dreamy, and time felt like it had come to a standstill. The clock stopping for you two.

He grabbed your hand which rested at your side, and lifted it to the side of his face. “You get two free hits, then,” his eyes never left yours despite his movement, “you can hit me twice.”

You leaned in closer to him, crouching slightly. “No, I don’t want to do that,” you said, trance-like.

“I don’t hit people when I’m mad.”

That was a direct critique to his ways and habits, and he seemed hypnotized, both of you luring the other closer. “Oh? Then what do you do when you’re angry?” He asked, leaning in. You mirrored the action.

“You wouldn’t get to know right now, because I’m not angry at you.” You said.

“Then what are you at me?”

Your noses nearly brushed against each other, and your eyes nearly blinked close in unison before you pulled away abruptly, tapping his nose. “You’ll never know.” Like the teetering push and pull of waves on an ocean against a boat, you and him got closer and farther with each interaction, and it felt like the next time, the boat would rock forwards, and be submerged by the waters entirely.

—

“We’re both in love, so I should be the leader of Big Deal. I’ll follow more closely in your footsteps.” Samuel’s words were unconvincing, and Sinu Han blinked languidly, amused.

“You’re in love?” He said, as if hadnt been able to tell already. Samuel felt superior to Jake in this, it felt like him and Sinu had something Jake didn’t - but unbeknownst to him, this feeling was just as close to Jake as it was to him.

“Well, watch out - because you’re not the only one.” He chirped, and Samuel paused.

“... What?”

The incentive to hate Jake had never burnt so passionately, and Sameul let his words process in his mind before he formed a response. “Jake may be in love with whoever, but as for me, I’m in love with someone who’s in love with me as well.” He felt there was a sense of kinship between him and Sinu thanks to this, but the man wasn’t moved.

“Being in love has nothing to do with being a leader. If anything, it makes it harder, wouldn’t you think?”

Samuel’s hands balled into fists at his sides. “I have something Jake doesn't - isn’t that enough?! I’ve bested him in this. I’m one step closer to you!”

Sinu shook his head with a dry laugh. “Don’t get too cocky about that - what you’re prideful about is gonna end up being your downfall.” Sinu has no idea how right he was.

Samuel’s lips formed a frown as Sinu began to walk away, cutting off the conversation abruptly, but he still felt a sense of superiority to Jake.

Jake had everything. Sinu’s favoritism, Samuel’s rightful dad, but what Jake actually wanted Sameul was sure was his - and he wanted it, too.

Jake Kim had everything Samuel Seo wanted - besides you. (At least, that’s what HE thought).

Upon the arrival of Goo and Gun, and the rush to gain money fast, time with you wasn’t as often as before. The rest of Big Deal, unaware of the relationship growing between you and Samuel, weren’t giving you any leniency when it came to the need for money - and pressed for you to do whatever it took to gain come cash, ethical or not.

This pressure for you to pull your own weight was carried on behind your back, too. Since it was unbeknownst to them of your budding relationship with Sameul, there was the illusion of free speech when it came to anyone not immediately present. Two nameless faces talked of you whilst you were absent, facing eachother.

“Does (y/n) do anytning? I get the ladies don’t do much, but they’re barely pulling a few cents in weekly. They’re either a horrible salesman, or just slacking off twenty four-seven.”

“They really need to start earning their keep…”

One of the two gossiping of you chortled, “the only way they could finally catch up to how much they need to make is if they whor-“

A face suddenly planted itself between the two, obstructing their view of eachother. Both swallowed dryly at the familiar intervener. “Samuel-“

He smiled uncharacteristically sweetly, a saccharine tug on his lips that was sickeningly artificial. “Who are you two talking about?”

“Uhh,” they struggled to find the words, but one of the two gossipers gulped down and grew the courage. Surely he felt the same - they saw the way he talked about the ladies behind their back, and what they should start doing to earn money, and surely you were no exception. “(Y/n). They run the clothes shop that barely makes anything.”

The lines on the edges of his lips twitched. “What were you saying just no-“

“Oh, we were just talking about how they need to start earning more. Maybe selling into pro-“

THUD

With a pained cry, one of the two bad-mouthers hit the floor; looking up with a wince to see Samuel’s fist clenched where his face one was. A brass knuckle coated his fingers, another one on his resting hand displaying a name engraved.

Your name.

“One. Don’t interrupt me.” Samuel sent them a glower. “Two. Never say (y/n)’s name again.”

It was that day he realized he truly hated your name falling off anyone’s lips but his. His smile was long gone, an indifferent look now across his facial features.

From that day on, Samuel Seo gained two quirks - of sorts; he hated people interrupting him.

And he hated people saying your name.

In his frustration, the next time he was offered a break, he chose to utilize it to the fullest - and visit you.

The small walk to your shop wasn’t time consuming in the slightest, and he was there in an instant. But he wasn’t greeted by the sight of you, alone, tending slowly to the clothes and hanging an assortment of shirts and tops on hangers. Instead, he came across you. And Jake.

Laughing.

He should’ve known - for whatever reason, he’s thought differently. Maybe it was the sunrise always entering through your large glass display which made his thoughts blurry and incoherent, or the way he didn’t dwell on unpleasant things when around you that he wasn’t able to realize you didn’t only ever smile like that to him. He’d convinced himself it was reserved for him, but you playfully judged Jake’s shoulder and batted your eyes, and he drew a conclusion which was far from correct. He thought the two of you were in love. But now, it was glaring at him in the face.

You were in love with Jake.

How he came to this decision for you, who knows - but the first thing that came into his mind when he saw how you and him looked at eachother in this sunset was love, and he told himself that was the case - the truth. Like a drug, love drives you crazy; and when divided into three, it’s a natural-born killer.

He felt betrayed, for whatever reason. You hadn’t promised Samuel Seo a thing, and yet it’d felt like that day in the pretty sunlight you and him had given eachother your lives. It felt like it was staring him in the face the whole time - of course you loved Jake; you guys were friends for longer. Sinu Han cheered him on in his pursuits of you, and it seemed blatant now that Samuel reflected on it. He wondered if Sinu cheered Jake on because he knew you liked him, or if he just liked Jake better.

Whatever it was, he realized one thing.

Jake Kim had everything Samuel Seo wanted.

In a fit of anger, and confusion, Samuel scouted the nearest girl in the vicinity - the one wearing a leopard print over a pair of overalls, with a short hair cut. His hands gripped her shoulders, and only one thought ran through his mind as he did what he did next - he wanted to make you feel as bad as you’d made him.

He wanted you to feel just as betrayed.

And then, his lips met hers; with a struggling gasp from her. The action was dramatic enough to draw the attention of you and Jake, and you froze in place, shoulders rising in shock. A million emotions swirled in your eyes at once, and your brows arched upwards sadly, like you’d come to a horrible yet uncertain realization. Your mouth still formed a small frown as it fell open.

“Samuel-“ your hands reached out to him despite being afar, like you wanted to wrap him into your palm and close your fist on him. “-what are you doing…?”

From the tone of shock and utter confusion in your tone, it was clear that you both had believed you had something going on between the two of you - to Jake’s chagrin. He narrowed his eyes at Samuel and angry lines formed between his eyes.

Your voice was like a hand which pulled him off from her, and Samuel stood to full height - the girl he’d kissed stumbling aback in surprise, and huffing angrily; turning tail the other way. You were too focused on Samuel to notice how the kiss wasn’t even consensual, and when he locked eyes with you, he leaned back tauntingly.

“What?” He asked, tone as cold as ice.

“I thought we were…?” Your expression was indecipherable. He laughed humorlessly.

“What are you talking about?” His eyes squinted at you, jeeringly. “You think I’m just tied down to you-? It’s just like my dad said. A real man loves his ladies.”

By your side, you could feel Jake go rigid; and his lips formed a scowl briefly. The words he hated, which were directed to his mom, someone he loved - were now directed towards you; and he swallowed a sense of dread, which dropped in his stomach like a weight. He wouldn’t let it happen again. Especially not to you - never to you. He wouldn’t let you be told those words ever again.

You wouldn’t be told the words he told her.

Wasting no time, Jake leapt onto Samuel, tackling him to the ground. He grabbed him by the cuff of his collar.

“What the fuck is your problem?!”

A loud smack resounded, and Jake fell to the side when Samuel’s fist collided with his face - his right hand lifted in the after motion. A sick grin crawled onto his face, “you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that, Jake!” He exclaimed.

“You’re no man,” Jake wiped the specks of dust which collected at the side of his mouth from impact with the floor with his wrist. Without any hast, Samuel climbed on top of him and a series of thuds revertabrated from below him as he sent punch after punch rolling to his face.

Jake’s arms crept up along the sides of Samuel until they landed on his torso, and he flipped the two so that he was on top of him. From behind, you could see drops of blood fall from Jake’s face, and felt a fear instilled in you.

“What?! You’re fighting me to defend that whore?” Samuel asked with a laugh. “Well, whatever! Enjoy my sloppy seconds!”

You were flabbergasted. “But we never-“

“Shut up!” Jake’s fist raised high and came descdending down to Samuel’s face, and you decided you couldn’t stand to watch any longer - wishing you’d had the resolve to do this the moment the two began to brawl.

“I hope the two of you live a happy li-,” Samuel said condescendingly, as if he were looking down on the two of you, and you ripped Jake off of him, him stumbling aback while you bent over Samuel, turning furious eyes to him.

“What’s going on?! What is going on with you?”

Samuel stood to his feet, lifting himself up with a propped elbow, and his hand raised above his head. “Don’t-“

You knew what was coming next, reciting the phrase in your head. Don’t interrupt me. Was he really going to hit you-?

Jake watched with horrified eyes as his hand was brought down to you, and moved to intervene as you braced for impact; yelling a “don’t touch them,” but rather than a punch, he just landed his hand on the side of your face gently. You blinked your eyes open confusedly, seeing the sunset paint his sorrowful smile a despairing orange.

“- interrupt me.” His left hand stayed on the side of your head, and you stammered.

“Wha... what even- what’s with that look?! You just-!”

“I…” he started, a sad glimmer in his eyes, “don’t hit people I like when I’m angry.”

“Wha-“ you were getting whiplash from the sudden change in temper, when a hand wrapped around your shoulder from behind - and you looked back at Jake. He nodded at you, gesturing for the two of you to go - and you spared one last look at Samuel before following Jake, who spared him one last glare before leaving with you.

It was an odd thing to notice, but Samuel’s left fist was unscathed - as was the brass knuckle around it.

You didn’t see much of Samuel Seo after that - and until the end, Jake Kim got everything Samuel Seo ever wanted.

Not soon afterwards, things began to get confusing for you, and in a sudden turn of events, Jake was appointed to be the leader of Big Deal. And despite being up in the hierarchy now and meant to keep his lips shut under lock and key, that didn’t stop him from confiding in you.

“Sinu Han lied about selling Big Deal… and sold himself?” You recited what he’d just told you as a question, and he nodded, watching your eyes straiten in disbelief.

“That freaking bastard! Why not just tell us what happened?” You voiced your frustration, blowing out a steam of air through your mouth. He simply nodded again.

“...Yeah.”

You looked down at your feet, thoughts clearly racing; and he took a chance. The pads of his fingertips lifted to yours, as if testing the waters, and you looked back at him from beneath lidded eyelids. He pushed his hand further, until your fingers intertwined.

You blinked as if asking what he wants to say, and he leaned in a little bit. “... You know, I’d never sell Big Deal.”

You puffed air into your cheeks, ignorant to his serious air. “You better not.”

He leaned in closer, fiddling with his and your fingers. “And you know, I’d never sell myself.”

You were somewhat taken aback by how much closer he was getting, and just hummed in response this time. Taking a leap of faith, he leant in one last inch closer to you.

“And you know… I’d never leave you.”

Then, he closed the only distance between the two of you.

That was how you and Jake Kim finally got together.

—

Years later, rumors floated around that you began to attend J High. Your boyfriend was apparently in Juvie for the time being, and you seemed to be carrying on alright without him.

These rumors weren’t exempt from reaching even Samuel Seo - who was now a part of the workers.

Before him, a student sat. Daniel Park. The interview he was conducting with him was certainly interesting to say the least, and after asking if he’d somehow insulted the bespectacled boy before him, he noticed Daniel’s eyes linger on his name tag.

“Your name is… Samuel Seo?” He asked, and Samuel nodded as a response, hands folded together professionally.

“Yes. Wh-“

He shook his head, as if trying to brush off a memory arising. “Oh, nothing, there’s just this student at my school who’s mentioned you before… (y/n). I thought you were their boyfriend in Juvie from how much they mentioned you.” He smiled bashfully, but Samuel’s eyes went bloodshot. A dark shadow swept across his expression, and Daniel leaned back when Samuel rocked forward intimidatingly.

“Don’t interrupt me. And don’t say (y/n)‘s name.”

The rest of that day, after that mention of your name, Samuel was unusually distressed.

And it felt almost nostalgic to his Big Deal days when a handful of days and nights later, Daniel was before him - the large, taller Daniel, and the two were both in ready positions to fight.

Samuel slid his brass knuckle onto his right hand, his hair falling back into place like how it was styled during his Big Deal days. “Why do you think I’m not getting their approval?” He asked Daniel, “what’s the reason they won’t approve of me? That they both chose Jake?”

Immediately, a punch was sent to Daniel’s face with the hand wrapped in gold, but Daniel got back up. “So, it was a brass knuckle… that thing I saw in that place was a knuckle. I wondered why it had (y/n)’s name on it, but that also let me know it was undeniably yours. I knew it… I’m smart… it’s a good thing… that I…” Samuel watched as Daniel lifted his left brass knuckle, and slid it onto his fingers, your name displayed across the indents in the brass with permanent marker from al” those years ago. “...kept it.”

Daniel continued, “So then, let’s-“

Samuel cut him off. “What the heck. I was wondering where the other one went! Hey, my only other rule around here-“ he grinned maniacally. It seemed like Samuel Seo only had two rules, but it was actually three - three things which you don’t do around or to him.

You don’t interrupt him.

You don’t say (y/n)‘s name.

And-

“-you don’t touch my left knuckle!”

(Unedited)

This ended up so long, I rlly hope it was what you wanted LMAO if it wasn’t go ahead and shoot me another rq saying how u actually wanted it. Thank u sm for requesting!!!! 💘 also sorry of the format is weird, I copy and pasted to tumblr and that oddly enough made the indents in paragraphs wonky...

i love him so much but everytime i think about him i am in pain

Ouyang is such an interesting character istg. I need a spin off series detailing his entire life just so I can study him.

he’s literally pure rage. he’s fuming all the time. he’s miserable and angry and pissed off and would rather die than even attempt to change or be happy in any way. he kills the one person he loves after destroying Esen’s life and kingdom. he violently denies himself any pleasure out of self loathing yet keeps spec sheet of everyone who was ever mean to him. he desperately wants to be seen and understood as much as he wants to rid the world of anyone who even comes close. don’t even get me started on his deeply complex and incredibly simple misogyny    

I’ve never seen such a fucked up, hateful main character. Ouyang is a pathetic, horrible little man in every objective and subjective sense and I love him so much

I LITERALLY THOUGHT OF THAT SONG WHILE WRITING THIS ANALYSIS!!! I wanted to put it in because I thought, "wow this is na baekjin fr" but i got a little sick of writing😓😓😓

do you guys get it if i say donald na is taylor swift coded