Why Can’t I Reverse Time Why Did I Turn Out This Way

It’s so fucking hard being in love with two people at the same time

I just want you back I know I can’t have it and in reality I know it would be terrible to have you back. In reality I don’t even fucking want you back. But im spiraling and im so lost without you. I dont know what to do. I feel I still love you. I dont know what to fucking do. I just dont want to live anymore. I just want to fucking die. I hate you but god I would do anything for you in my life again. I just wish we could reverse time. I wish this didn’t happen. I wish j wasn’t alive

Makes me so fucking frustrated and upset “oh it could be worse it could be this it could be that” dude shut the actual fuck up you don’t know shit about anything and if you think it’s cuz I can’t take a joke you’re fucking wrong I will literally fucking trauma dump and make this WHOLE conversation uncomfortable

I am so embarrassed that I made a scene and it’s honestly making all of this so much worse. I feel awful and I never want to show my face again

It genuinely hurts to live

I can’t stop relapsing I just want to fucking die man

I am going to kill myself

I miss you so much im sorry that j was the way I was I’d change for you I promise I would please just let me back into your life I love you I miss you I’m sorry

Despite it all, I still find you beautiful.

I have acceptance and love for you. I don’t want you in my life again, but I cannot erase the memories we shared. There were plenty of pleasant ones, and plenty of terrible ones. I appreciate both, because I was taught a lesson to respect myself more.

I don’t know why I fell so hard for you, but im not complaining. Despite everything, the pain you put me through, every single awful thing I’ve experienced, I still hold you dear in my heart.

I’m not trying to be delusional and wish for you back, or want you to come back and we can be together again. I am not saying I miss your romantically or sexually or anything else. I am saying that our time together was special to me, and I don’t think that’ll be something that ever goes away, and that’s okay. I am lucky to have been the one to go through all of that instead of someone else who couldn’t have handled it.

I’m glad that I have helped you. I am glad that we had time together. I’m sorry it ended the way it did, but im glad it’s over. Thank you, and im sorry

I need help so bad I need fucking help I don’t have anybody I’m freaking the fuck o ur I can’t take it anymore I literally cannot fucking take it anymore I need to kill myself I need to fucking end my life I needto kill myself I need to fucking kill myself nobody or nothing will ever help me I am stuck here I am so tormented god please fucking help me please fucking help me please god help me fucking help me please fod I can’t take it please kill me oh my god fucking help me fucking help me please