"frank Zappa" Is What I Call My Electric Hotdog Cooker

What do they put in diet sodas for birds?

Artificial tweeteners!

You would think that Disco Elysium is a sequel to Rhythm Heaven. But it's not that

Eevee's toy time

Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"

if there was a Nickelodeon sitcom about a teenager who made a web show about making pastries, it could be called...

eClaire

did you guys ever read the geronimo stilton series

Olive green and mustard yellow and burnt orange are a beautiful, inseparable polycule and they are all making out with each other in my closet.

one thing I really like about my relationship with my boyfriend is that we can express negative feelings about each other's actions without assigning blame or requiring apology. I mean like for morally neutral things like "it drives me crazy when you leave a wet towel on the floor instead of hanging it up"

cause now like instead of "oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to drive you crazy, I'm terrible and unsocialized" or "um well that's dumb, who cares" it's like

"it does? I didn't know that. how come?"

"because it will mildew and I keep tripping over it and I don't know whether you intend to reuse that towel or whether it needs to go in the wash"

"okay so usually if I intend to reuse it I hang it up, and if it needs to go in the wash I drop it on the floor. I guess because I thought I shouldn't put it in the hamper because it would get all the other dirty clothes wet and then THEY might mildew before we do the laundry."

"that's valid. what if we have a specific place to hang wet towels that need to be washed? how about this one hook here"

"perfect!"

no hurt feelings, nobody being made to feel shitty and sloppy on one hand or uptight and bitchy in the other hand. just, we're partners right? let's workshop this

how do i clean my room if i dont own a maid dress?

its over. you're fucked