I Keep Having Dreams About Meeting Magical Beings And Asking Them If I Can Take A Picture So I Can Prove

I heard some schools in the eastern US are closing today.

I guess the kids' education has been...

eclipsed by other concerns! 🥁

A social media site for business dogs would be LinkedInu.

More favourite numerical memes:

Implicit or implicit enumeration of uncountable things (example: taking inventory of the fucks which one gives)

Suggesting the divisibility of things which are not customarily thought of as able to be subdivided (example: "six whole people")

Using words that aren't numbers as numbers (example: "one William dollars")

Technically correct but contextually misleading estimates (example: looking at a group of several thousand things and observing that there are "at least three")

Incongruous qualifiers for apparently simple sums or tallies (example: she was twenty-seven years old, not counting 2014)

My magnum opus!

beastie boys music is funny as hell one of them will say a line and then the other two will say a completely unrelated line

me: lol rihanna costume inspiration is cindy-lou-who meets the grinch ¯⁠\⁠(⁠°⁠_⁠o⁠)⁠/⁠¯

@ferntasie - more like she hunted down the grinch (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

me: so...the costume is cindy-lou-who wearing a genuine grinch pelt??! ヘ⁠（⁠。⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠ヘ

...ngl i was honestly disappointed she didn't appear in the half-time show wearing this outfit (⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can make women’s clothing

Guilt must truly ask itself what it’s purpose is for it to stick around. It must justify itself, it must be useful. “Deserving” and “being correct” is not enough. Those are irrelevant justifications. Guilt must be willing to become growth and culpability or it must bid farewell

she said she was microceleb but when i met her she was fucking normal sized. taller than me even. i brought a cute little bug carrier and everything and now i look like an asshole sitting here with it in my lap in this stupid fucking bar. sick of people lying about who they are online.