What I Mean When I Say I’m Sex-Positive

YOU! ONCE YOU GET THIS, YOU HAVE TO SAY FIVE NICE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF AND SEND IT TO TEN OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOLLOWERS

So, needlesslycryptic and sunderlorn both dropped this one in my inbox—I’m in the polarizing position of being both unspeakably (DOES THIS MEAN THAT I’M A *FAVORITE*?!) flattered and put out that now I’ve got to run my truant self-regard to ground and put it to work. Thank you both. <3

1. At any paid job, I’m uncommonly diligent. I arrive at the timeclock every day just in time to absently stare through it for two minutes, swipe my card with more force than is strictly necessary, and then I’m in. I work singlemindedly every second of my shift, with efficiency, speed, and focus as my watchwords. When I walk I keep my eyes forward, hands clasped behind my back, and never stop to socialize or chatter. When customers or coworkers come to confer with me or ask a question, I don’t stop working to answer. I do both at once. So, um… I’m not well-liked, but my results are. Hooray?

2. I never gossip, spill secrets, or kiss and tell.

3. If you and I ever eat together, I’ll always eat more—so, your powers of restraint will look greater by comparison.

4. The way I ramble in writing you’d probably never guess this, but I have a talent for silence. Like, I can honestly go weeks without saying a word. Comfortably.

5. I’m… not too shabby a gifter, if I do say so myself. In all seriousness, I tend to devote weeks or months before a holiday to obsessively trawling through my memories for every tiny instance in which my prospective giftee has expressed even the most offhand desire, going years back if necessary, until I light on the thing. And I live my life listening for those moments, mentally tucking them away to be brought out again as needed. It’s worth it to me, too—every time my mother, for example, finally breaks through my very deliberately selected giftwrap and tears up when she sees what’s inside, my skull just echoes with vindicated maniacal mental laughter.

i told my boyfriend i was demisexual so i had to expalin to him that demisexual is the kind of people who feel sexual attraction to someone with an emotional bond, and he said "yeah just like everyone else"... how i am supposed to react to that? i told him that no, because lot of people is alright with one night stands, but he was insisting everyone was like this..

This is a hard one that I’ve struggled with too, because as demisexuals we know that our experience is fundamentally different, but often times harder to pin down than saying we’re strictly asexual. Here’s how I explained it to my mom. I’m not sure how useful this is, especially since it’s about how *I* experience demisexuality, which might be different than how you or others do, but maybe it’ll help.So imagine that sex is coffee right? People love coffee. Coffee is everywhere. There’s a Starbucks on every corner, coffee drinkers in every TV show and movie, and billboards and ad spots about coffee all the time. People who like coffee might be peculiar about how they want their coffee— maybe they like it with sugar or soy milk, or only in the mornings before 10, or only when they’re studying, only from Starbucks or only from their local coffee house, etc. Or they might not care— they might like coffee no matter when or how it’s made. They’ll buy it from anyone and take it in whatever form because they really like coffee. But they all agree that in general they like coffee.

And then there are people who don’t like coffee at all. They can’t stand it. They don’t want coffee at any point of the day, no matter how it’s made or who makes it. Nothing you can do makes coffee in any way appealing to them. Coffee lovers are generally baffled by this, and some might insist that people who don’t like coffee just haven’t had the right cup, but the fact is that people who don’t like coffee simply just don’t like coffee.

And then there are people like us: we don’t generally like coffee, and we wouldn’t choose to have coffee on our own. Like the people who don’t like coffee, we can go years without a cup of coffee and it doesn’t bother us at all.

But we have a friend who loves coffee, and we love that friend. And the longer we’re friends, the more we want to have coffee with them. Not because coffee has suddenly become our favorite drink, but because we love our coffee-drinking friend and THEY make us want coffee. So we go out for coffee with them, and we enjoy having coffee because we’re having coffee with them. If we weren’t with them, we wouldn’t want coffee.

"But everybody feels that way" isn’t true. Coffee lovers still want coffee even when their conditions for having coffee aren’t met. Just because they’re not drinking coffee right now, or because they might have preferences for when & how they drink coffee, doesn’t mean they stop liking coffee. But for people like us, if we’re not having coffee with that specific person, then we don’t care about coffee. It holds absolutely no appeal or value. We have to have that connection before we ever want coffee. Coffee lovers might want that connection when they have coffee too, but they also generally want coffee as a thing in itself.

That’s the difference between being demisexual and being an allosexual who likes to have emotional connections with their partners. An allosexual person still likes and wants sex as a thing itself, even if the conditions for having sex aren’t being met. They think about and desire sex outside of the conditions they set for engaging in the actual act. A demisexual person doesn’t care about sex as a thing in itself, because sex is inherently tied to emotional bonding for them. We don’t think about sex as an act involving us unless it’s under those conditions.

That may or may not be the worst analogy ever, I honestly don’t know, sorry. It seemed to work for my mom, but that might be because she really likes coffee *shrugs*

If anyone following this blog has any resources on how to respond to that type of response they’d like to direct the anon to, please let me know so I can post them!

Hope that helps!

any sort of sex positivity message that refers to its readers as “dearest perverts” is invariably going to alienate ppl who are uncomfortable with sex and sexuality, and they’re the ones who need it most. “embrace how disgusting you are” rhetoric is not going to benefit people who struggle to convince themselves that they aren’t actually disgusting

day 23 - florence, sex education

happy pride month of 2020!

i wonder if theres a grammatical rule out there that explains why “i’m a big sexy bug” sounds better than “i’m a sexy big bug”, yet “im a sexy little bug” sounds better than “i’m a little sexy bug”

Something strange is going on with the way we talk about feelings. Emotional responses are mocked in some but honored in others. The same people deride millennials and their “safe spaces” where feelings are never hurt, and then fall back on the refrain that “I just feel more secure when I have a gun.” Feelings, it seems, are either a laughable distraction or a crucial decision-making element, depending on who’s having them. The need to feel safe, in particular, is often treated as childish and absurd—but only when coming from people who have actual reason to feel vulnerable. Asking to be recognized as your true gender? It’s all in your head. Asking for accommodations for illness and disability? You’re too sensitive. Recounting experiences of dehumanization because of your race or gender? What an overreaction. But those who want to make the country “safer” by securing the borders against people they perceive as outsiders are never painted as whiners or cowards. The police officers killing unarmed folks in a moment of panic are not mocked for failing to keep their feelings in check. When someone wants a deadly weapon, their desire to feel safe becomes a rugged and real and sexy conviction.

Stop Treating Emotions Like Character Flaws Of The Powerless - The Establishment

(via k-ee-t)

"Welcome to Night Vale" style angel #2

Other entries in this series: 1

Selfie Tag

Tagged: @jellydishes​​ ⁌ ⁍ (Thank you~ 🤗 🖤)

Tagging: All other interested parties. @ me in your posts if you try it out! 💄✨ 📸

Time for another giveaway!

There will be ONE prize: One custom quilt made by me for you! I’ll give you the fabric options; you’ll select the one you like, as well as over all design and I’ll make a quilt just for you!  Awesome right?

To enter you are allowed ONE REBLOG and ONE LIKE per day. Each note gets you one entry and I’ll use a random number generator to pick the winner. (I’m not responsible for any tumblr fuckary i.e. lost reblog’s or likes.)

You do not have to follow me to enter- however, when I select your name, if I see that you’re following me, you’ll get several more options in fabric and design of the quilt.

The giveaway will close on Saturday March 1st at 9PM PST. The winner will be tagged in a post and I’ll also send an ask, so be sure yours is open. The winner will have 24 hours to respond to the message. If I don’t receive a response within 24 hours, I will select another recipient.

Good luck!

If you don’t want to wait to get a quilt of your own, check out my shop To Boldly Hold

classic scifi novels by men r always like. page 1 here's a cool scifi idea i had. page 2 i hate women so much it's unreal