“There Is No Real Going Back. Though I May Come To The Shire, It Will Not Seem The Same; For I Shall

the greatest invention that would be is a device that would magically put on your own clothes onto you. and you don’t have to move you just have to stand there in one position and it happens like in those dress up games.

I seem to have fallen out of love with reading and I don't know how to get back into it. I want to support all these new creators coming into the fandom but I just; Don't have the energy to engage in something new, even when it's fanfic so I already know the source material and can hit the ground running. I still write and update my WIPs, but that makes me feel even worse for not reading others story's as I know how important comments are for motivation. How can I fall back in love with reading?

First of all: hugs. Take a deep breath in. Hold it. Let it out. 

You don’t have to do everything. 

Life is busy. Life is stressful. There’s a lot of stuff going on and that’s all a lot to deal with. If you don’t have the energy to read fic right now, then don’t read fic. I’m at a point where I’m dipping back into fandoms I read literally twenty years ago because that’s what my brain can handle right now. I’ve accepted that, and I’m giving myself what I need. 

Reading takes energy, just like writing does. Commenting takes energy too. All of it requires focus and concentration and mental processing power that you might or might not have a lot of. 

It’s not that you’ve fallen out of love with reading. It’s that your brain can’t handle new information right now. It might be a good idea to unplug a bit, if you can. Step back from social media. Ignore the news for a week. Reconnect with yourself and the people around you without thinking about everyone online or out in the world. If you’ve been stretching yourself too thin, take some time to contract again. 

The other day, I redid a stress inventory that I did when I was working full time while in graduate school and buying my first home. I’ve got more stress now than I had then - and that’s saying something! But when you look at that list and you think about the world we live in currently, you can see how much we’re all going through. 

Forgive yourself for not being able to do what you used to be able to do. Rethink what your “normal” is. Your best is going to be different on any given day because some days are better than others. You’ll get back to reading again when you have the energy for it, so do what you can to take care of yourself and get some of your energy back. ❤

When Ed said "your jealous of humans beacause we can change who we are" and when when greed said "you don't need me anymore kid" and Ling replied "but I do" and when Ed said "your hands where made for giving life, not taking it" and when Wrath said "my wife is the only thing I ever got to choose" and when Pride said "I liked playing house with her [mrs. Bradley], it was pleasant." And when Ed said "If I didn't consider you human, how could I consider my brother human?" and when Greed said "you where right, this IS what I wanted." And when Ed said "who needs alchemy when I have them?" and when

A Biracial Reading of BlackBeard

It came to my shock-a lot of white fans of OFMD seem to have not caught up on the fact we’re explicitly shown Edward Teach is a man of color from biracial origins in Our Flag Means Death. And that identity, goes so much into how his character is written and reacts to situations. I would argue Episode 4 and 5 are extremely deliberate in their showcasing of how his identity has informed his choices and the way he behaves around others. I want to highlight just a few moments, that stood out to me as a someone who is also biracial and light skinned-that I don’t think some people have picked up have a deeper meaning.

From the get-go we’re introduced to two sides of Blackbeard. Either as ‘the terror of the seas’ or an extremely clever-but at times irritatingly eccentric man. There’s an element of duality, multiple faces, and most aptly code-switching to him the moment he is introduced. This  post really wonderfully goes into all the elements of performance and multiple identities Ed seems to juggle. Code switching is something many POC learn though-which is learning to behave one way with white people-and another with people of your own race-or other races, and so on.

We see from flashbacks Ed is biracial, with a white Father and Maori mother (the same biracial make up with genders swapped, of Taika himself). The framing of this shot above is so significant. He and his mother cowering from his white Father (patriarchy, colonialism against indigenous peoples like himself and his mother), and Ed is positioned slightly closer to his mother in the middle of them-another demonstration he is closer to his indigenous/POC side than his white side.

It’s wildly significant the first murder he has to commit is his Father, very much showing that attempt to resist colonialism-as an institution and the side of him descended from it. And it leads to those fracturing identities.

Being biracial puts one in a position-you are not as excluded as darker skinned people of color who have very limited access to white spaces in this time period-but nor are you ever seen as belonging in those white spaces either. We know he grew up in proximity to whiteness hence having access to even see things like the red silk in the first place-but he never felt allowed to be part of it. It puts Edward in a place where he is both an outsider with other POC and in white spaces. So how do you cope with that? Do you soften yourself as much as possible to be non-threatening enough to pass in a white space? Or do you lean into white perceptions of your 'otherness’ and play it so you can’t be further mocked or excluded-you are choosing your own isolation and denying them the chance to do it to you. Hence Edward’s need to make himself a larger than life fearful 'monster like’ figure like the Kraken. However it’s the fact he is light skinned-that privilege that has probably lended himself to be able to become as successful he is-capable of earning respect from white pirates (Calico Jack, Izzy) and those of color (Ivan, Fang, and many on his crew). 

Which doesn’t mean he enjoys that image at all. Becoming “The Kraken” began as an attempt to fight off white violence and has continued so long into life. Especially where we meet Edward in the series-he’s grown weary of being so stereotyped as the 'beastly POC’.

When Edwards’ shown this image-he gets especially upset. It’s worth noting he’s referred to as a “Devil” in the image too. And while yes it is a scene of him exhausted of the weight of reputation of “Blackbeard” it’s also an image of a man of color being shown a racial stereotype of himself.

The fact he calls himself a 'vampire clown’ and is frustrated at the amount of guns he’s shown to carry-he’s showing outrage over how he is stereotyped as an othered monstrous and hyper-violent caricature- something men of color are often forced to deal with. The fact he is a man of color-is probably what has allowed his reputation to become so fearsome. White people will automatically assume he is more violent because he is brown. All the more significant his bathtub confession that he personally dislikes the act of murder-and rarely personally ends a person’s life. It’s only because of this racial stereotype that rumor has been able to grow so large that he is killed HUNDREDs like Black Pete says in episode 2.

It makes all the more sense in the next episode he is very anxious for an attempt to join a white upper-class party. Especially after being called a “donkey” when attempting to learn about dinner party etiquette. Another example of white people excluding him due to his mixed race status.

The fact he is mixed is part of the reason he’s even able to get into the room with the rich aristocrats rather than be confined to the servant’s quarters-or immediately othered like Frenchie and Olu are ('you’re so much better than my african servant!’)

However it’s extremely significant he only becomes popular and gains the attention of the white aristocrats (and he is the only person of color in the entire party) when he makes a joke about violence. From the get-go they’re laughing and amused because he is again (Not realizing it this time) playing into their stereotype of him. A violent man of color-but presenting it in playful manner they feel un-threatened, much like white people watching minstrelsy shows in the 1800s-but still being so afraid of black men they had numerous laws to keep them separate.

And immediately, when Edward catches on they’re not amused by him as a person-but by the caricature they see of him he’s humiliated and leaves the party. It’s an example of a lesson he learned long ago. He has to be either extremely non-threatening-a joker-if he wants to be tolerated in a white space, or he can be extremely threatening, play into their stereotype-and use their fear to avoid being further hurt. We see a touch of that in episode 4 when he dodges Izzy’s questions by being especially eccentric and difficult to read-making jokes and random statements than give sincere straightforward answers that can be mocked. It’s very deliberate he takes out his knife when answering Izzy’s threat/demand he needs to make choice-it’s a refusal to be openly intimate-and a reminder not to tread too closely. 

Edward’s not stupid/or socially inept for not realizing he was being mocked from the start-he had really believed Stede’s lessons and clothes had given him practice to blend into a white space. So the first thing he does when realizing he’s being mocked is code switch back into violence-pull out his pistol. Stede talks him down-but it only works because he knows he’s outnumbered in this scene. If he showcases any violence or anger as a man of color he would be jumped upon immediately and thrown in that ships holding cell.

It’s all the more significant Stede is a white man too-when he leaves Edward in the end of episode 9. It’s not just a break up, it’s an example of Ed once again feeling not good enough-and excluded from the society Stede chose to return to. Part of the reason Ed fell in love with Stede is Stede was willing to see Ed as a whole person-he admired his anger AND sensitivity-and as a person who has also been an outsider due to his very overt queerness-Stede can form a kinship with Ed due to their mutual ostracizes from society.

While there’s been multiple good readings about Izzy pining for Ed, and Izzy’s frustration against Stede being driven because he is a rich person invading a working class space-as this post pointed out, Izzy is still a white man asking Ed to behave as that hyper-violent caricature that has been carved out for him. That is where he sees Edward’s worth. The fact Izzy immediately begins mocking him for missing Stede-it reminds Ed so clearly, he can not drop his act around white people. Or he will be harassed, mocked, and threatened. 

Edward has to become the Kraken to survive in his mind. Hence why he uses a caricature image of himself as inspiration. To survive heartbreak, to survive the white people who would rip him apart if he isn’t threatening, to maintain control of his life. There’s a reason he has to kill Lucius-who he revealed too much of his heart to, vulnerability is not an option for him. When you’re biracial-the closer you are to whiteness, the more acutely you will be held up for failing at it. It is much easier for him to be guarded, threatening, and give into the perception of him-rather than have his heart broken over and over-told how he is not good enough-too sensitive, 

Which is why this Kraken image-Blackbeard-it’s all a tragedy. Edward knows-as much as being Blackbeard makes him safe-it makes him painfully lonely. And it’s an identity he has only fallen into because it was assigned to him-and because he feels convinced at the end of this season there is no space for him, as a queer man of color to have life full of love, softness, and emotional availability.

I certainly hope this reading is enlightening for folks who never read Edward or the show this way! I think it may cause people to rethink how they characterize Edward in their own writings or artwork, since the amount of people who seem to love leaning into an element of making him monstrous, well that’s exactly why he is suffering in the show. He doesn’t think a man of his identities has any other choice.  

lesbians will be invented next Thursday im shakign

the most important step in the hero’s journey is the gay sex

oh that’s right divas!! snatch those wigs bc its getting hunty up in here! fierce! work! hunty!