JOAQUIN PHOENIX DID THAT!

Then it comes to me: Yes I’ll die, so will everyone, so has everyone. It’s what we have in common. And for a moment, the sorrow ceased, and I saw that it hadn’t been sorrow after all, but loneliness,

Marie Howe, from Magdalene: Poems; “October”

He Just Can’t Stop Himself… Can He?

it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.

bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.

the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.

what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.

i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.

i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.

and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.

i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?

Me trying to figure out how loki has all these powers yet decides to stab Thanos

I just listened to an interview with the Russo brothers and have learned two things:

1. They’re terrible writers. 

They apparently can’t figure how to give a character growth aside from making them lose everything first, which you’ll notice is an overused trope most often utilized by “mary-sue” writers who can’t come up with anything creative and end up resorting to the classic “Look at their ridiculously tragic past!” in order to spur the character’s actions forward. The Russo brothers admitted to liking this about Cap (him having lost everything), and since they were now writing for Thor, thought that they’d do the exact same thing with him. So, they killed Loki to motivate Thor, because apparently they couldn’t think of anything better to do. 

2. They’re hypocrites. 

They also claimed to have killed off Loki because Tom Hiddleston was “aging” and apparently too old to continue playing Loki. So, what about Chris then? Apparently it’s okay to keep one aging “god”, but two is pushing the limit? The logic there makes zero sense whatsoever.

And honestly, that also points toward how very not-creative they are as writers, as well. The assumption that the only good ending is a tragic one, rather than a more emotionally satisfying happy one, is lazy writing at it’s finest.

—

Let’s be real, though. They just hate Loki. That’s it. One of them said “No resurrections this time” when Loki’s multiple deaths were brought up, and you could tell by the smug satisfaction and humor in his voice, that it fucking pleases them to have killed off this character.

This is for you Russo Brothers. 

This is for you Marvel and you Kevin Feige. 

 Not only for killing off one of your most beloved and iconic characters in the stupidest most cruelest way for a cheap shock death because you wrote a shitty villain. 

 But for your disgustingly insensitive comments at your actor who we love Tom Hiddleston who deserves far better than you gave him. 

 This is for even thinking after 2 days of #bringbacklokialive and fans waiting to hear you explain your comments on that dumb as fuck podcast we would want Jane fucking Foster to come back.

 I am so angry right now it’s not even funny.

 Fuck you russo brothers.

Please sign the petition

https://www.change.org/p/marvel-studios-loki-returning-in-avengers-4-alive

me showing up at the theater for infinity war:

me, five minutes into the movie:

"Don't see yourself as a victim"

Oh, I'm sorry, do you think I was a fucking volunteer?