Lewis And Charles At Fan Event At Monaco GP

if the great british bake off had lewis, ollie, lando, george and alex in their celebrity season (all the brits and yes im counting alex):

Lewis: Tries his best, but ultimately underestimates how difficult baking vegan goods is and adds like 5x more xantham gum than needed - somehow, it's still passable as a baked good and it looks quite nice so he gets some points for that, but god, who knew cake could bounce?

Ollie: Acts like he knows what he's doing, tries to copy what he's seen on the show, but somehow uses only forks, breaks a stand-mixer, and winds up with a burnt crisp of a lump that might have gained sentience that the judges can't even stand to be around - they have a hard time telling him he's made poison bc he just looks SO proud of himself

Lando: Starts off pretty well, trying to make something simple but (hopefully) fool-proof, but doesn't know how to work any kitchen appliances and sets the oven to like 200 degrees celsius and forgets to set a timer - almost the same outcome as Ollie but the judges do recognise the baked good as a cake so!!

George: Aggressively over-plans his idea, coming up with a complicated mix of flavours and design, which would be awesome if he were good at baking - unfortunately, he winds up making a beautiful, but shockingly disturbing-tasting cake - george admits that he probably isn't a good enough baker to be able to add ginger, spinach and chia seeds into a sweet cake and make it work. The judges appreciate his effort but ask him to never bake again

Alex: Somehow does the best out of the group, not by skill but by pure vibes - understands he's not a great baker and like Lando, goes with something simple. Unfortunately, his downfall comes when he makes one crucial mistake like mixing up sugar and salt which brings the whole jenga tower of cake crashing down - he tries to make some bullshit up about how it's a "savoury cake" but it doesn't land with the judges

Mercedes PR team watching Kimi admit to committing credit card fraud on a podcast

and their adopted son kimi in the back too

jannik's kit

How I be looking at 3am on tumblr and Ao3 when I gotta be up at 6am for lectures

Ollie: We have three projects, nine essays and five presentations due tomorrow. It's time to suffer, right Kimi?

Kimi, chugging 3 cans of energy drink simultaneously: Mama didn't raise no bitch, it's time to gain this grain

f1 grid | juno positions

୨ৎ : featuring : all drivers on the grid ୨ৎ : synopsis (requested by anon) : every driver and which juno position from sabrina carpenter's tour suits them >.>

୨ৎ : genre : suggestive... kinda smutty idk (i don't really write smut anymore so this is a rare one...) obv some are the same positions.. i couldn't sit through an 8 minute video of all the juno positions LMFAO ୨ৎ : tws : suggestive ୨ৎ : word count : 597

୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ

ᡣ𐭩 a/n : i couldn't help but post this so soon LMFAO it was such a fun request i couldn't leave it sitting there waiting to be queued ... too good ty anon <3

ʚ・red bull

max verstappen - standing doggy no time for nonsense, just efficient execution. aggressive, locked-in, and somehow still makes you feel completely taken care of. terrifyingly good at everything, including this.

yuki tsunoda - cowgirl tiny menace. gives full chaos and control. jokes around, then ruins you. he’s in charge, not you. don’t be fooled by the baby face.

ʚ・mercedes

george russell - legs up missionary textbook performance, but with precision and tenderness. prepped for this moment like it was a championship strategy. probably asks if you’re comfortable mid-way through.

kimi antonelli - bridge young but scarily talented. pulls it off like it’s nothing and casually shrugs after. doesn’t even realize how hot he looks doing it.

ʚ・ferrari

charles leclerc - reverse cowgirl quiet in interviews, dramatic on the radio. gives you “hopeless romantic who pretends not to care” energy. lets you take the lead but still makes it cinematic somehow.

lewis hamilton - spooning luxury. candles. playlist curated to the vibe. everything is intentional, soft, and meaningful. says “i got you” and means it.

ʚ・mclaren

lando norris - ballet dancer starts off laughing, then surprises you with full performance energy. twirls you around like it’s a rom-com, then bites your neck for fun.

oscar piastri - tucked missionary he’s calm, quiet, and absolutely calculated. very into the technical details. doesn’t make a fuss but has you clutching the sheets like ??? how???

ʚ・aston martin

fernando alonso - squatting cowgirl age is just a number. balances like a yoga master, keeps eye contact, and somehow turns it into a motivational speech halfway through.

lance stroll - one-leg-up missionary chill, not flashy, but shockingly good at this exact position. leans into it casually. acts like it’s nothing but has you seeing stars.

ʚ・williams

alex albon - kneeling oral sweetest boy alive. loves making you happy more than anything. says “tell me what you like” with the softest voice. gold star giver.

carlos sainz - doggy classic. passionate. in control. the man thrives under pressure and it shows. focused, intense, and somehow turns this into a performance worthy of applause. probably whispers something in spanish that short-circuits your brain. makes you feel like it was your idea the whole time.

ʚ・haas

ollie bearman - one-leg spoon baby boy energy. tries his best. a little shy but committed. accidentally makes it romantic. 10/10 would comfort you with snacks after.

esteban ocon - missionary starts off shy, but the moment kicks in and suddenly it’s like he’s been rehearsing this in the mirror. soft-spoken, maybe even a little awkward beforehand, but he’s determined to prove himself. will absolutely debrief the whole experience afterward like it's a post-race interview.

ʚ・racing bulls

liam lawson - splits unsuspecting menace. looks like he’d hesitate, then surprises you with flexibility and full commitment. asks afterward if he did good. he did.

isack hadjar - the arch absolutely shows off. confident, slightly cocky, but backs it up. makes eye contact while doing it and smirks when you blush.

ʚ・alpine

pierre gasly - reverse cowgirl he’s not doing the work — you are. but he’s there for the view, hands behind his head, sunglasses still on indoors. makes smug comments the entire time like, “yeah, just like that.” fully vibing while somehow still running the show. would wink at you mid-movement and say something unhinged in french.

jack doohan - cowgirl confident in theory, flustered in practice. lets you take the lead but lowkey panics when you actually do. tries to act chill but you can literally feel his heart pounding through his chest. afterward, he’s all pink-cheeked and smiley, like “that was great… did I do okay?” you reassure him. he did amazing.

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Paolini out. Lewis only scoring 6th and being overtaking by a Kick Sauber. Max crashing into George. What a Sunday🙃

But you always gotta look on the bright side of life. Isack Hadjar did great and is happy, and if he’s happy I‘m happy. Alcaraz did the kindest thing and is (once again) my hero and won!! And so did Iga!!