Healingange - N'oublier Pas

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

“Brother, I’m not depressed and haven’t lost spirit. Life everywhere is life, life is in ourselves and not in the external. There will be people near me, and to be a human being among human beings, and remain one forever, no matter what misfortunes befall, not to become depressed, and not to falter—this is what life is, herein lies its task. I have come to recognize this. This idea has entered into my flesh and blood.”

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, in a letter to his brother detailing his experience of nearly getting executed

One of the hardest parts about trauma is overcoming hyper-independence and understanding that you don’t have to do everything by your own strength. That there’s no virtue in suffering and doing everything entirely on your own. That it’s okay to have expectations for how you want others to show up in your life, and those expectations don’t make you a burden. That having faith means letting go of the belief that everything is in your hands and instead trusting your future to someone greater than you.

Overcoming hyper-independence is a journey in itself.

“I learned that just beneath the surface there’s another world, and still different worlds as you dig deeper. I knew it as a kid, but I couldn’t find the proof. It was just a feeling. There is goodness in blue skies and flowers, but another force - a wild pain and decay - also accompanies everything.”

— David Lynch

You know when you’re on self destruction day 8 and it gets so fucking boring it’s almost unreal how boring it becomes honestly…. It used to feel so naughty and clandestine and now it’s like….. 👍🏽 Cool tomorrow let’s go on a nice two hour walk get our mind right deep clean house grocery shop listen to sweet affirmations read exfoliate play instrumentals in the kitchen while we cook. And it’s not like a desperate plan it’s just like it’s actually more exciting to live the Other Way. Even if it doesn’t answer every existential qualm I have at once it makes it all nicer. I want to swim and suntan. I want to restock my mango kefir