Me, Writing A Very Serious Story About Batman's Family.

Me, literally giving a character my (very minor) disability in a fanfic I am writing.

Some person on Ao3:" don't talk about things you don't know, girls aren't colorblind".

(Just in much less civil therms, thus I cancelled it).

First of all we are in the DC comic universe, people come back to life every other day, and you are telling me girls can't be color blind.

Second of all, girls can be colorblind or have various types of color deficency, you can trust me and my Tritanopia

Signed: a tired fanfic writer who won the genetic lottery and who has to video-call one of her brothers (who actually won in a non-sarcastic way) every time she is alone at home and she has to properly coordinate her own laudry.

Writing the fanfic of my own fanfic with music on shuffle and accidentally hearing the perfect song for the mess Dixie is in that story is a preciously heartbreaking thing.

Anyways The Crane Wives might have a stronger chokehold on me than what I previously tought.

P.s. the song was "Allies or Enemies"

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4163446

https://archiveofourown.org/series/4830169

Letter to my father

I hate the 15th of may.

I had my first cycle on the 15th of may.

It was at your home, not at mom's.

I panicked.

I knew what was happening, and yet I cried anyways.

You didn't say a thing.

Not that it was normal.

Not that it was growing up.

You just rubbed my back and left me some pads while you went heating an hot water bag.

When I came out of the bathroom you were there, ankward, handling me the bag and some painkillers.

You said you didn't know if I would need them.

I felt like a little kid crying in your arms that afternoon.

Like I felt at three years old when you would holst me up your shoulders and the whole world felt so far away (when I KNEW you would be there, and that you would never let me fall).

You were more kid than what I ever managed to be.

It wasn't always a good thing.

It wasn't always a good thing, but you had a levity of living I always lacked.

I never knew how to be a child.

I was always too cerebral, too strange.

But then you would pick me up from school on windy days, a kite in one hand, and I managed to be a kid, too.

Someone once wrote that grief was like walking up the stairs to your bedroom, in the dark, and finding a step missing.

It's not wrong, per se.

Sometimes I find myself wanting to call you, before remembering that your phone sits in one of my drawers, battery dead, and that no-one, least of all you, will ever pick it up again.

I hate the 15th of may.

I hated it at ten and now I hate it still.

But maybe hate too, is just another word for absence.

Maybe hate too, is just another way of saying “I miss you”.

It's strange working on the same series for over a year.

It's strange because the protagonist slips into your bones (she already has my soul, that pours into her with my very breath).

Dixie by now is almost flesh for me.

I guess it's fair.

I made her haunted and she haunts me in return.

I guess it's fair.

When I get a nice AO3 comment or Tumblr reblog I have to force myself not to say "I LOVE YOU PLEASE MARRY ME CAN WE BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER I'M OBSESSED WITH YOU" and instead say "thanks"

Are you frustrated you can't leave second kudos on AO3? or third kudos? or whatever-who's-counting kudos?

Well, have I got the html for you!

Plop any of these in a comment (by copy&pasting the code) to make an author's day and show your appreciation!

Second kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/tHMjbb6/second-kudos.png" alt="second kudos">

Third kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/52bggQH/third-kudos.png" alt="third kudos">

nth kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/6y7qGtC/nth-kudos.png" alt="nth kudos">

yet another kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/wKtcj0s/yet-another-kudos.png" alt="yet another kudos">

It will look something like this (and will be transparent with white outline on dark backgrounds):

Feel free to spread and use these as much as you like! (and if you have ideas for other variations, let me know ✌️)

Im just feeling a certain way rn

One of the things that I will NEVER stop going feral for when reading comics is the general notion that

When Dick is young, Bruce focuses so hard on his work as Batman and his assertion that Batman is the truer and more important of his two identities, that he accidentally creates a Dick Grayson that thinks he is worthless if he is not Robin.

I was reading Robin: Year One and (SPOILERS FROM THIS 2001 COMIC) Dick gets fired as Robin after Two-Face nearly kills him. And once he has recovered, runs away, and he leaves a note for Bruce that contains the line "You don't want a partner. And you don't need a son. I'm sorry I failed you." and I lost my ENTIRE mind.

And to me, this always has to be a MAJOR part of why Dick is so hurt when Robin is stripped away from him permanently. Yes, it is his mantle, and yes, he thinks that his work as Robin is generally important, but ultimately, it stings so much because he is convinced that if he is not Robin, then he isn't ANYTHING to Bruce. Because Bruce doesn't need a son. Because if he's not Robin, then he has failed him.

As I wrote some posts ago, the Bonus instalment of Robin's Blues will have more than one ending, one with Roy (obv) and one with Wally.

What I would like to ask you all, is if you'd like a third ending too?