Sorry I Have A Bone To Pick With People Who Say That Chishiya Manipulated His Way Into Winning Against

hey

happy valentine’s day !

why does aib3 have to be coming out in SEPTEMBER of all months it better land on a break or something bc why does it have to be during the busiest time of the year for me. no saturdays, marching rehearsal multiple times a week, football games (aka 4 hours of sitting with my snare watching our team lose 0-40 and get 23 injuries AGAIN.) i hope i can still binge bc im not accepting having to not binge watch the show i set back my suicide for.

WHICH ONE WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE MORE ?

please let me know !!! im leaning more towards the second option but i wanna know your guys opinion !

OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY HERE

when im highkey in love w bro but he has the most LETHAL face card ever and im just some dude teaching him piano and having to stare at his hands while i teach him for 30+ min a day is lowkey driving me insane

when you think of smthn for later on in the fic but you cant put it in just yet so you just type it somewhere random in the doc

when the internalized homophobia lowkey hits while im looking at a guy i lowkey am crushing on so the garden shed intro just starts blasting in my head

chishiya, arisu, and niragi - their effects on me as someone who experienced severe depression

chishiya’s little confession to arisu always fucking gets me. call me selfish little shit all you want but i relate to him, niragi, and arisu so much. that realization and my connection to these three led to the alteration of my brain chemistry that literally ended up saving me from committing suicide.

because he was actually so fucking real i don’t care what you guys say. i lived so much of my life depressed wondering what the fuck was wrong with me (being autistic and having emotionally abusive & neglectful parents did NOT help with this), and hearing him talk about being small-minded and jealous and being always afraid just hit home. i was so jealous of everyone around me who just hit every little thing in life like it was a home run because when you become depressed at 8 and it doesn’t go away for a LONG time you start to be so fucking pissed about people who celebrate their every move. i pitied it but in reality i was just jealous because they all had that little life in them, that HUMANITY that i never experienced.

niragis whole character hit home like crazy for me. because of my inability to fit in with others i was bullied a lot by my classmates and picked on for what felt like no reason at all. i was, of course, jealous (which i refused to admit) and it drove me insane. i started to become the person i never wanted to be because the hatred drove me so fucking crazy i started to think i either had something seriously wrong with me or they made something seriously wrong with me and either way i was going to revel in it because there would be no fixing for someone like me. niragi hit extremely hard for me during this time, call me psychopath or whatever the fuck but i seriously related so much. he was just like me and it was comforting because even though he was so terrible it made me feel less alone.

finally, ep 8 of s2 when it was flashing back to his father asking him what his purpose in life was with that DEPRESSING ASS SONG in the background while he sobbed saying he doesn’t deserve to live broke me. that was the last fucking straw. all my selfishness and jealousy and anger and HATRED for everyone else just crumbled down on me and i didn’t want to live anymore because i felt like a selfish waste of space. it hurt and it hurt BAD. it was like somebody just took a knife, stabbed me straight in the heart a twisted a full 360.

these were very relatable characters for me, and i know i seem like an asshole for it, i don’t care. thats what real mental illness and effects of neglect / bullying / discouragement / everything looks like. they genuinely make me sob every time i see them because they’re actually me i see them and suddenly im that same scared little boy again. to this day those fireworks are STILL my favorite thing in the world and they mean everything to me. that was the scene that convinced me not to do it.

tell me ur name and ur fav alice in borderland character and ill assign you an instrument tell me ur name and ur fav alice in borderland game and ill assign you a percussion instrument specifically

fanart for @sharpsuite and their fic :) app ; clip studio paint brush(es) ; textured pen literally spent like 40 min trying to get chishiya's face right omg