Ilovebirthdayspartis - Untitled

untouchable famous!reader who has a pristine reputation and is known for being “hard to get” (more like hard to earn) x famous character who somehow manages to charm you. except, when he’s trying to take you back to his mansion, he’s kind of drunk and convinces you to play driver and to just take his sports car and he’ll give u the directions. he fails to tell you that his sports car is a stick shift. you’ve never driven a manual car before.

so here you are, in a cute dress and high heels, learning how to drive stick in an expensive car, at night, and your driving instructor is drunk. then he has the nerve to FORGET WHERE HE LIVES, so you end up taking him back to your place. whatever. the night is still somewhat salvageable. not only do you have to haul his large body inside, he still wants to get freaky with you. too bad he’s clumsy and overexcited and his zipper gets caught on the fabric of his boxers. fantastic. mood = officially killed. when you go to the bathroom to freshen up and return to kick him out, he’s already passed out on your bed. as annoyed as you are with him, he’s kind of cute when he’s sleeping so you leave him be. the next morning, he wakes up and is like “did we have sex?”

you roll your eyes, tossing him a disposable toothbrush. he follows you to the bathroom and is presumably gonna start brushing his teeth right next to you, which is oddly domestic.

idk, just something abt reader being the stoic, unreadable one and character being the bumbling lovable idiot who keeps trying to make it up to you and hilariously fails every time but you find him endearing so you continue to let him “bother” you!!!!

i ran to tumblr to post this because i knew you guys would understand

I will argue with a butch, why don't you make me shut up handsome?

bitches be like "my life's a movie" yeah a documentary on mental ilness

femme lesbians with fucked up makeup!! femme lesbians in sweatpants and messy hair!! femme lesbians that spend most days working a minimum wage job or smoking pot!! femme lesbians wearing jeans and a t shirt!!

femme lesbians are not all coquette pink princesses and i feel like that’s all i see on social media these days.. make some noise for messy femme lesbians with messy lives!!

the time will pass anyway 🕯️

summer is in three months 🕯️

just distract yourself 🕯️

the time will pass anyway 🕯️

food is not a priority 🕯️

୨୧

femmes who are in charge everywhere but the bedroom. (my dream job)