You Ever Just Crave Backshots From Abby Fucking Anderson

Ed is not edying like it should be because why don't I feel guilty for eating over my limit. WHY IS MY LIMIT 1000CAL????? Why am I eating chocolate and candy bars all the time. Ugh

This shit is such a scam

The number goes down by a lot, body looks same

The number goes slightly up, AND I LOOK LIKE A ROTTING WHALE WTF

can we skip to the part when I have a wife and a kid and I’m rich and successful and and and

i hate it when people say "your gonna lose your curves" mf my hips are bigger than my rib cage no i won't

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health

is it just me or is evb deactivating? 😭😭 where y’all at?!

Why can hot girls (me) never sleep?

untouchable famous!reader who has a pristine reputation and is known for being “hard to get” (more like hard to earn) x famous character who somehow manages to charm you. except, when he’s trying to take you back to his mansion, he’s kind of drunk and convinces you to play driver and to just take his sports car and he’ll give u the directions. he fails to tell you that his sports car is a stick shift. you’ve never driven a manual car before.

so here you are, in a cute dress and high heels, learning how to drive stick in an expensive car, at night, and your driving instructor is drunk. then he has the nerve to FORGET WHERE HE LIVES, so you end up taking him back to your place. whatever. the night is still somewhat salvageable. not only do you have to haul his large body inside, he still wants to get freaky with you. too bad he’s clumsy and overexcited and his zipper gets caught on the fabric of his boxers. fantastic. mood = officially killed. when you go to the bathroom to freshen up and return to kick him out, he’s already passed out on your bed. as annoyed as you are with him, he’s kind of cute when he’s sleeping so you leave him be. the next morning, he wakes up and is like “did we have sex?”

you roll your eyes, tossing him a disposable toothbrush. he follows you to the bathroom and is presumably gonna start brushing his teeth right next to you, which is oddly domestic.

idk, just something abt reader being the stoic, unreadable one and character being the bumbling lovable idiot who keeps trying to make it up to you and hilariously fails every time but you find him endearing so you continue to let him “bother” you!!!!

I will argue with a butch, why don't you make me shut up handsome?