DPXDC Community Service Mentor

GET HIS ASS! Literally bleeding from the sword held to her throat and she will not miss a chance to talk shit. Valentine's biggest hater forever <3

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

I do think the fandom has the unfortunate habit of babifying Shang Qinghua, due to both shipping and crocodile tears. I personally like the fact he’s a stone cold shark.

This guy set up an event so deadly it killed a significant number of teenagers— some from his own peak that he trained personally— without any visible trace of remorse. SQQ spent years wallowing in the guilt of throwing his little sheep into the abyss, which he knew he would survive. Meanwhile SQH did that and an unknown amount of other shit without batting an eyelid. That man would sell you out for pocket change.

No wonder Mobei Jun thinks he’s hot. Murdering someone in cold blood must be the demonic equivalent of a sexy hair flip.

Lorelei is literally that bitch.

She Knew SHE fucking KNEW that Lisbon and Jane were in love but couldn't acknowledge it and she absolutely knew what buttons to push and she tap danced all over them just to piss Jane off when she was caught.

Lisbon was the perfect bait. You can say things about Jane, but he won't care. Needle Lisbon or make fun of her? Jane's got it out for you.

i love watching namra in the back of scenes. shes literally always just standing there like a goddamn horror movie character perfectly still, and then suhyeok walks up and is like "hi wifey❤, are you doing okay? do you need some water? i love you." and she keeps standing there but she's happier.

you wouldnt think it when meeting him for the first time but the lord of an ding is quite the smoker

(Shot opens in Magicians Meeting Hall)

Captain Marvel: *strolls inside toward his seat and unpacks from his little satchel. Stops and greets other magic-users before pulling out notebooks and pencils*

(Cut to Billy on the couch)

Billy: So, over the weekend, I might’ve made a slightly impulsive decision

(Cut back to CM unpacking a mug that reads *#1 DAD!*)

Billy: I mean, I don’t regret it. I just wish I didn’t have to keep my identity a secret, ya know?

(Cuts to Cap smiling at the mug)

(Cuts back to Billy on the couch)

Billy: *holding a photo of Conner/Kon-El(Superboy)This is my son. Isn’t he great? He can already leap tall buildings in a single bound!

(Cuts back to Meeting Hall. Camera pans to New God Metron, swiping away at unreadable documents)

(Cuts to Metron on the couch)

Metron: It’s real. It’s all real. I don’t even…I don’t understand what is going on inside that head of his

(Cut to Satanus in the Meeting Hall, doing his damn best to not laugh)

(Cut to Satanus on the couch)

Satanus: He’s—Pfft—He’s grown up so much! I actually—Shit, I can’t wait to tell Blaze about this.

(Cuts to Blaze on the couch)

Lady Blaze: 😦

Lady Blaze: You’re kidding

(Everyone watches Marvel sip water from the mug. He stares back)

Captain Marvel: What?

Fate: Nothing. Nothing at all

Captain Marvel: You sure?

(Camera pans to Metron, still swiping)

Captain Marvel: He doesn’t look so good.

(Cuts to Billy on the couch)

Billy: he actually reminds me of my uncle after he has too much beer, but I don’t want to seem rude. I’m a dad now.

(Cuts to Satanus on the couch)

Satanus: He actually said that? No, he actually said that?

(Cuts to Billy on the couch)

Billy: I’m gonna be. The best. Dad. Ever. No other dad will dad like I dad.

(Cuts to Satanus on the couch)

Satanus: *laughing too much to be human* Please—Please don’t—Make it stop! I can’t!

AU where Billy Batson is investigating some random magic issue because his powers have been depleted as a consequence, meaning he temporarily can’t be Captain Marvel, but he somehow accidentally tips off Zatanna who’s working in the watchtower that day. She senses the sudden lack of magic in Fawcett City and tries to contact Marvel to warn him, but he can’t be reached so she calls up a few members of the JL to check it out because they want to make sure he’s okay.

Batman, Zatanna, The Flash, and Wonder Woman start wandering through Fawcett with no plan, just looking for some kind of sign that Cap is nearby, when they see this kid in a tattered red hoodie open a PORTAL, and they’re like what the fuck?! So they slip through the portal right before it closes and suddenly they’re in this infinite magical cave, and the boy is pissed. And he’s really not open to questions.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“None of your business.”

“Where are we?”

“Also none of your business.”

The heroes aren’t idiots, though. They know this kid has something to do with Cap’s disappearance, so they ask him questions until he finally gets tired of them and says, “I’m his…protégé.”

“Cap has a protégé?”

“Yes. That’s me.”

“Prove it.”

“Superman works as a news reporter at the Daily Planet.”

“…Oh shit.”

Batman tries to talk to him about how he shouldn’t know this kind of stuff but the kid hits him back with, “You have like ten kids who know everyone’s identities too. Why are Captain Marvel and I suddenly breaking protocol?” Point taken.

So now there’s this magical kid who’s apparently in line to become the next Champion of Magic who knows all of the JL’s secrets through Captain Marvel, and they still don’t know WHERE Cap is so they take him back to the watchtower and try to get as much info from him as possible. It only makes them more confused.

“Where is Captain Marvel?”

“He’s stuck in eternity.”

“What does that mean?”

“He doesn’t have a corporeal form right now.”

“He- what the fuck? How did that happen?”

“His powers were depleted after a big fight last week.”

“But is that reversible?”

“That’s what I was working on.”

“And what were you doing, exactly?”

“I was…trying to help him get his strength back.”

“Okay? How can we help?”

“Umm, you can’t.”

“Is he okay? In eternity?”

“Yeah yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“How do you know he’s okay?”

“We…have a…shared consciousness?”

“Excuse me??”

“I take it back.”

“You can’t just take that back?!“

“It’s Champion of Magic stuff, okay?! You wouldn’t understand!”

The kid’s story just keeps getting weirder and weirder until he refuses to answer questions, leaving them more in the dark than they were before.

Marvel not Caring

I feel like the few times Billy needs to get something over with, he just doesn’t care. Like honestly, I’m going to connect this to my Marvel Compilations post. (In that post I just talked about how Marvel could be a clip farm and the potential vids he would have) Let’s say these are all from the 8 minutes and 47 seconds of the Big Red Cheese tweaking out vid. Cause why not?

One day, Marvel’s doing patrol. See, he wants to get it done with, hopefully with no major villain attacks happening, because Darla has a school play, and he wants to see her, even if she got cast as a tree. But of course, things didn’t go his way, especially just when he needs to start heading out for the play.

*vid opens up to Marvel floating in the sky looking down at a Female Villain*

Female Villain: *attacking people and causing general havoc*

Marvel: *looks around for any cameras and doesn’t see the one recording the vid*

Female Villain: *sees him and his about to do something*

Marvel: *winds hand back (as if he needed to) and backhands her like an abusive husband*

Any Nearby Civilians: *cover their mouths as they look away. A good chunk of them sped walked away*

Female Villain: *knocked the fuck out*

I’m telling you right now, a good chunk of the comments on that video were something along the lines of ““that’s not right,” I whisper to myself as I speed walk away” or ““You don’t hit a woman,” I think to myself as I step into the safety of my car and drive away.” All stuff like that.

The day after that…

Marvel: “I just ended the problem as soon as I could, guys! I don’t beat women!” Superman: “We know! We know, but did you have to it so… so ferociously?”

Marvel: “Ferociously?”

Flash: “Dude, you looked like you’ve been waiting to do that.”

Marvel: “I haven’t! It was just effective, and I was on a time crunch.”

Flash: “Time crunch?”

Marvel: “Yeah, I had to see this person I know go be in a play.”

Batman: “Hn. You could’ve just said you wanted to see your child’s play. I’ll admit I’ve done something similar when Robin was in a play of his own.”

Superman: “Yeah. If the play thing is true, that’s a valid reason for any father to do that.”

Marvel: *a little confused as to why they assumed Darla was his kid* “Uh, yeah. I didn’t want to miss it.”

Flash: “Who was it for by the way? Junior or Mary?”

Marvel: “Neither.”

*silence*

Marvel: “You guys don’t know her. She isn’t a hero.”

Flash: “Dude… you have another kid? Why do you never tell us these things about yourself??”

Then, there’s another clip of Junior and Marvel. Beast Boy recorded the audio for shiggles and hid behind a wall but was surprisingly met with:

Marvel: “Okay, you know what, Junior? I don’t care that you’re disabled. Put your hands up.”

Junior: “Dude, I am not fighting you. You’re stronger than me.”

Marvel: “So? You’re only a little bit weaker. If you paid Mary like five dollars, I’m sure she’d fight with you. Now anyways put your hands up.”

Junior: “She’s not even here! And, hey- hey- Stop that!”

A lot of crashes and bangs could be heard for about 30 seconds. The video then ended.

Then, there’s another clip of him and Mary sibling arguing, but of course, most people think that Cap’s her and Juniors dad. So, when they say certain things, people tend to view it more extremely.

Marvel and Mary: *arguing*

Marvel: *says something completely outlandish that you should absolutely not say to a child*

Mary: *barely blinks and says something right back*

Marvel: “Oh so help me Gods, if we weren’t related, I would scrape your face across the pavement.”

Mary: “Oh yeah? Well if we weren’t related, I would skin you with a butter knife!”

The two proceeded to continue arguing before they somehow make up mid insult and go get ice cream like nothing happened.

Bonus:

Black Adam and Marvel: *floating up in the sky*

Black Adam: “You know, you’ve never said anything remotely similar to that to me.”

Marvel: “What’re you talking about?”

Black Adam: “I would scrape your face across the pavement.”

Marvel: *nearly has a heart attack when he says that*

Black Adam: “You said that to the girl. You’ve shown more disdain for that girl than you have for I.”

Marvel: “Uhhhh…” *panicking cause he doesn’t know about the video*

Black Adam: “Do you… not take me seriously?”

Marvel: “No, no, no, of course I do!”

In this AU, Marvel doesn’t really throw much shade at his villains aside from the occasional comment and that’s it.

Can we just talk for a second about how Disney fully could have leaned into the crazy Latina women and husbands who roll their eyes at it, but Felix is always so fuckin quick to validate her. Not one crazy joke, not even a single comment, just fully encourages her to feel her emotions.

when she’s crying at Antonio’s ceremony, he could fully have been like yo chill stop being dramatic, but all he says is love, you’re gonna get him wet. Not a, don’t cry, not an omg stop, just a gentle reminder to move the cloud over a little.

And with the whole hurricane wedding, he’s not, oh she ruined the weather or ugh it was a disaster. Just a, what a joyous day. Like she’s warning mirabel and he’s like fuck yeah I get to talk about one of the best days of my life

Look how fucking happy he is, getting pelted by hail by his fucking goddess of a wife