Was Asked To Make A Transmasc Version Of The Meme

I don't know how to describe it, but genderfluidity gives me probably the weirdest type of gender envy and dysphoria. I have been feeling my AGAB for a while now, but watching Juno Birch and hearing her voice, kinda just flipped the switch and brought on gender dysphoria. I don't know how to explain my thoughts, but something about transfeminine presentations and being just give me gender envy when I feel dysphoric femininely. I don't know why, they don't do anything different, they're just women being women, but the way they present themselves, their style and mannerisms just feels....different to me. It just feels right, and it feels unattainable to me, but I don't see why. I don't know why.

I want to forgive you mom, for everything you’ve done, and everything you’ve put me through. Neglect, the emotional abuse you’d give me when you did feel emotional. How you’d use me, like I was no more than those girls in school who everybody use for something, because its all I’ve ever known. Love for me is giving all, and receiving is doing what is wanted of me and never expecting anything in return because I know its not coming, unless I find you in a good mood months down the line, to feel okay with asking, which I’ll feel bad about because your life has always been worse than mine, even though everything that’s happened to me has stemmed from you.

I know you were too young to be my mother, but I’m too young to be yours. I’m too young to be as old as I am now. Too experienced with grief and longing for somebody who’s supposed to be able to bounce back, because I’m simply in the prime of my life. Too sad and callous for somebody who people only ever want around because I’m happy to see you, no matter how long its been and how little you’ve always given me. Because I know, you’re thinking of somebody else when you’re with me. Everybody always has, its the way I was bred.

You think of me when I was little, doll like, who was just full of love, who gave up everything to do what you wanted because I just wanted to be around you. You think of me, good ol’ reliable, the one who was always there to keep you company whenever you decided you wanted me, because you had nowhere else to go on a Friday night and surely because I had just reached double digits, I could watch those romcoms with you because I was starting puberty, I was gonna learn about it soon enough. You thought less of me when I became depressed and had a hard time taking care of myself, and how embarrassing I was to you in our small town because I was open about who I was, and when you forced me into your clothes and made me wear makeup my sensitive skin couldn’t handle because I needed to think about your reputation in town because me being myself was embarrassing to you because I didn’t grow out of being a tomboy, even though you were a tomboy, because we both know it wasn’t me being a tomboy. You didn’t think of me at all when I didn’t give into dressing how you wanted and was gaining weight because of my depression, and you gave up because you had a new family growing with the love of your life, and I was just a byproduct to call and do stuff for you that you needed when you did remember I exist. You only remembered me when you had nobody to call, and since I was fat and ugly, you knew I was free to be there for you, because I loved you. You tortured me, for years. I gave you everything. I lost everything that’s ever mattered to me.

You want us to be better now, yet you still only talk about yourself, or call me when you need me or want to use me, because I’m still fat and ugly, and have no idea how to function in the real world, and I’m scared of being used because people always sniff it out in me. I’m scared that because of how little faith I have in people wanting to be around me just to be around me, that I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life, because people are only around me when I don’t set boundaries, I’m so nonchalant and don’t argue because I’m tired of that being my main social interaction, so I’m always down to do whatever because I’m included, even though I never feel like I’m wanted by the time I’m there because I’m falling short of who it is you’re missing.

I’m just a mother. There to help. To love. To give advice and make you feel better. To take care, even though you don’t listen and know better than me. To be there with you because you’re lonely, and not fighting to do whatever I want to because you don’t like it, but doing what you like because you like it. I don’t cry to people with my emotions because it rarely matters, or I don’t want it to matter because when I tried to make my emotions matter, nobody cared. Wanted to brush past it quickly or just ruining the vibes. Oh well. Who better to mother me than myself? Eve didn’t have a mother, neither do I, I guess.

AND SHES DONE!

i was able to find a little bit of the leftover fabric from my raggedy ann doll so they match :)

i think she came out appropriately cute and i plan to make a matching andy once i find some good plaid fabric

Happy hearts and hooves day <3

I love being alone most of the time. It's the only state of being I know of how to be. Like a concrete flower. There, but not noticed, or acknowledged. Crying alone when nobody else is awake or around. Never having space to myself. Everybody wants to be involved now for themselves. I'm just tired, really. Tired of never feeling like I can achieve a deep emotional connection to anybody, or being completely myself because of things I can not help. It's just something too far out of my reach. I have to just accept my role of being the called upon one, who nurtures and cares for somebody, and being ditched when the person they really want comes back, but still being there. It's my birthright. My curse of life.

Amazing art keep up the amazing work. Also if it's ok for me to request some nightmare/derpy being in love I would appreciate it.

Been thinking about them for a while

I should've killed myself when I had thr chance at 12.

A reminder to the "the American government wouldn't..." crowd. They have. They have made their own internment camps before. They have rounded up innocent citizens and immigrants before. The victims of which are still alive to this day and trying to share their stories with the world, they have been trying to warn us for a long time. George Takei (as seen above) is a famous example of this. He has written about his experiences time and time again, even publishing a book talking about his time in these camps. He may be famous now, but at the time he was just another kid forced from his home. To this day he still firmly dedicates himself to trying to educate and inform people, trying to spread awareness with his platform. The American Government can and will do terrible things. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise.