Latest Posts by itsriotmotherfuckers - Page 2

They're the sillies

Remus “he’s too beautiful for me and way out of my league”

And

Sirius “NO I SWEAR IM NOT CRAZY HE IS THE MOST GORGEOUS GUY EVER”

Dad bod James Potter in this or something adjacent please???

I’ve already proposed to you like 7 times what more do you want from me

but what if i read one of your fanfics and then went to your ao3 account and read all of your fanfics and left a comment on every single chapter of every single one and you got spam emails from all of my kudos and comments and it made you smile, what then? what if i brighten your day with my words like you did mine, what then???

That is when I propose

but what if i read one of your fanfics and then went to your ao3 account and read all of your fanfics and left a comment on every single chapter of every single one and you got spam emails from all of my kudos and comments and it made you smile, what then? what if i brighten your day with my words like you did mine, what then???

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64044454

~~~~~

Pairing: Sirius Black/James Potter/Remus Lupin (romantic Sirius Black/Remus Lupin)

Top/dom Sirius, switch/sub James, bottom/sub Remus

~~~~~

“You like quidditch, right, Jamie?” Sirius asks lightly, tugging James back so he’s leaning against the older boy’s chest, his weight being supported in its entirety. It’s… attractive. Hot. Sexy, even.

“Uh, yeah,” James laughs anxiously, confused and trying hard to hide the hear building in his belly. “I love it, you should know that by now,” he tries to joke, but he just feels dizzy.

“Do you prefer watching or playing?” Sirius questions, fingers tracing little infinity loops on James’ stomach. Somehow, it doesn’t feel like he’s talking about quidditch, but what else could it be?

“Playing,” he answers. Of course he prefers playing. As much as James loves going to games, watching his favourite players, he absolutely adores the wind in his hair, a broom handle under his palms… it’s his passion, his life.

“Do you feel the same way about sex?” Sirius asks like he’s talking about the weather. James’ heart starts pounding like he’s on a broom again, seconds away from winning a game.

I love…

Bodybuilder James + strongman Sirius. I propose this mostly to talk about Sirius with a strongman build. Like. An insane amount of muscle, can literally deadlift over twice his own body weight, but also a belly and fat and AHHH? Like please? I want that so bad. Also, post-Harry, James gets a dad bod? Please??? They would be so handsome that way I’m dying. Bonus points for Lily who, despite not working out much, is absurdly strong and carries James around bridal style sometimes. And then there’s Peter who doesn’t work out but is also like. Pretty strong? Not jacked, Lily is stronger than him, but he’s still got a decent bit of muscle. Also Remus is there (more than 3 books and he taps out).

Oh no 😰 (if anyone does they’re objectively wrong)

Sirius: “No I’m normal everyone thinks Remus is the hottest person alive”

Remus: excuses himself from a party after 10 minutes bc he wants to go knit. Wearing the most heinous jumper even your grandfather would shy away from. Blacks out after one (1) beer. Dies if someone makes eye contact with him. Sits awkwardly in the corner trying not to cry when he has to stay in a party for too long (fails every time). Bones pop 87 times every time he stands up. Cannot sit on the floor or he will need to be picked up bc his back is so bad. Asks Sirius + James + Peter to kiss his booboos bc his mummy used to do it and it made it feel better. Always has at least 3 books on him but needs Sirius to carry them bc he’s too weak. Hates smoking bc he’s worried about cancer. Very awkward. Loser.

Modern Remus owns a kindle, it was a birthday gift from Sirius (you’re so real for that btw paper is superior)

Sirius: “No I’m normal everyone thinks Remus is the hottest person alive”

Remus: excuses himself from a party after 10 minutes bc he wants to go knit. Wearing the most heinous jumper even your grandfather would shy away from. Blacks out after one (1) beer. Dies if someone makes eye contact with him. Sits awkwardly in the corner trying not to cry when he has to stay in a party for too long (fails every time). Bones pop 87 times every time he stands up. Cannot sit on the floor or he will need to be picked up bc his back is so bad. Asks Sirius + James + Peter to kiss his booboos bc his mummy used to do it and it made it feel better. Always has at least 3 books on him but needs Sirius to carry them bc he’s too weak. Hates smoking bc he’s worried about cancer. Very awkward. Loser.

Jokes on you, he crochets as well

Sirius: “No I’m normal everyone thinks Remus is the hottest person alive”

Remus: excuses himself from a party after 10 minutes bc he wants to go knit. Wearing the most heinous jumper even your grandfather would shy away from. Blacks out after one (1) beer. Dies if someone makes eye contact with him. Sits awkwardly in the corner trying not to cry when he has to stay in a party for too long (fails every time). Bones pop 87 times every time he stands up. Cannot sit on the floor or he will need to be picked up bc his back is so bad. Asks Sirius + James + Peter to kiss his booboos bc his mummy used to do it and it made it feel better. Always has at least 3 books on him but needs Sirius to carry them bc he’s too weak. Hates smoking bc he’s worried about cancer. Very awkward. Loser.

LMAOO I’m just better like that (she also sucks so it’s a low bar lol)

Me when I love somebody so much I write them porn for their birthday (targeted)

Bestie that is close enough that we are kind of siblings but not quite because we talk about sex stuff for that too much (I am not dating them you freak shhhh)

Me when I love somebody so much I write them porn for their birthday (targeted)

LMAO YOU HEATHEN don’t spoil my future plans for oneshots >:/

Sirius has never actually called Lily her name, btw. He calls her Lilian and Lilibet and Lilith and Lillete and Lilah and Lizabeth and Liliana and Lydia and Liana and Lilette. Never just Lily.

She tries to do it to him in return, but there’s not much that Sirius can be short for. She compensates by calling him names and teasing him constantly.

When you’re besties and don’t know how to not sound like you’re dating

Me when I love somebody so much I write them porn for their birthday (targeted)

Me when I love somebody so much I write them porn for their birthday (targeted)

He’s called her every single variation of Lily from all over the world!!

Sirius has never actually called Lily her name, btw. He calls her Lilian and Lilibet and Lilith and Lillete and Lilah and Lizabeth and Liliana and Lydia and Liana and Lilette. Never just Lily.

She tries to do it to him in return, but there’s not much that Sirius can be short for. She compensates by calling him names and teasing him constantly.

That would probably involve me not scrolling Tumblr at 2am. Which. I am not willing to stop doing.

They should invent a not being exhausted

That wasn’t me who said that omg who would call you that………..

Music stuff occasionally because you are. A. Loser. LOL (bullying you)

You sound like the “*straight*” guys at our school projecting by calling me a fag…. You wish you were as slay as me (love you too bestie <3)

Sirius: “No I’m normal everyone thinks Remus is the hottest person alive”

Remus: excuses himself from a party after 10 minutes bc he wants to go knit. Wearing the most heinous jumper even your grandfather would shy away from. Blacks out after one (1) beer. Dies if someone makes eye contact with him. Sits awkwardly in the corner trying not to cry when he has to stay in a party for too long (fails every time). Bones pop 87 times every time he stands up. Cannot sit on the floor or he will need to be picked up bc his back is so bad. Asks Sirius + James + Peter to kiss his booboos bc his mummy used to do it and it made it feel better. Always has at least 3 books on him but needs Sirius to carry them bc he’s too weak. Hates smoking bc he’s worried about cancer. Very awkward. Loser.

Hi hello it’s me wow!

@aubacus ummmm open tags other than that because too scared to tag any other moots :’)

Tag game: make yourself as a little guy

Tagged by: @thanatos-zagreus-shagreus

Tagging: @thiamsxbitch @rhyslahey @myinnerguineapig and whoever else is up for doing it 💙

Please

like to charge reblog to cast

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

🕯️🕯️ may all 🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️corrupt politicians🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ meet their fate 🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ ‧͙☆༓happy ides༓☆‧͙🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ to all 🕯️🕯️

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

🦔

This is Charles. He wants to go on a journey around tumblr. could you show him around?

Oh no

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

The moon! Oh, how I love the moon. What a lovely fate.

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

And then Sirius is still better 😭

regulus joined the slytherin quidditch team just to spite sirius. like "oh you think you're so good? well i'm gonna join and ruin all the fun for you so i can be better at this thing you enjoy". hilarious and sad at the same time

REAL.

reblog this if you believe in loser remus who loves his boyfriend and isn’t a dick towards him supremacy so i can follow you and curate the content i engage with

I need more sapphic WolfStar with trans Sirius.

I want transfemme Sirius with a buzzcut and a tight little tank top and cargo pants and massive boots and piercings and tattoos. She first grew her hair as long as possible to prove her gender to the Blacks, then, when she ran away, buzzed it and has cycled through every haircut imaginable since, just to stick it to her family that she can be a woman with short hair. She cuts her own hair, too. She pierced her own ears and septum and did stick-and-poke tattoos on her ankles in her bedroom at 12 Grimmauld Place (everything else is done professionally). She’s taller than most men and absolutely uses it to her advantage.

I want fem!Remus who wears ankle-length skirts and 70-year-old-man jumpers and blouses only grandmothers wear. She has curly hair that she doesn’t know how to take care of and usually just wears it in a messy ponytail. She always has her mom cut her hair. She tries to cut her own bangs a few times. She tries to do her makeup on special occasions, but, somehow, it never ends up looking as nice as it does on other people. She spends all day in bed when her monthly cycles match up too closely. She bites her lip and chews her nails.

I need Sirius teaching Remus how to do her makeup. I need Remus teaching Sirius about periods and what it was like growing up a girl and all the little things that she missed out on. I need Sirius seeing an “I <3 girldick” shirt and buys it for Remus (who refuses to wear it in public, but it’s comfy and oversized, so she ends up wearing it at home). I need Sirius who knows about periods, but is fucking appalled to learn how bad they can get, and spends all of Remus’ worshipping her. I need Remus who keeps getting whiplash every time Sirius changes her haircut but cannot get over how nice she looks constantly.

I just need sapphic WolfStar with trans Sirius.

No

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

Very proud of my box and also your drawings are very cutie pie

Me and bestie had an art night!! I made drawings and bestie painted and designed the art supplies box!! What do y’all think? :D

@itsriotmotherfuckers is bestie btw I love them my sibling forever <3

Harry Potter is a muscle twink and Draco Malfoy is a tall noodle man thank you for coming to my TED talk