You Want What

Fellas is it gay to pin your rival to a wall?

your freak-of-nature boyfriend that we locked up in a high security lab is loose in the fucking facility send help before he kills us all

When will I have a rival who thinks I'm a dumbass but also dreams of kissing me under the moon light

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

Aizawa: does anybody want to talk about their feelings?

Todoroki: i do

Aizawa: i know

Todoroki: i’m sad

Aizawa: [sighing] i know, Todoroki

I just want y’all to know that one time during lockdown I played a lot of Minecraft because I had nothing better to do and then later I was going to go into my room after a shower so I could go back to being a hermit but it was dark so I just thought “oop, can’t go in there, there’ll be skeletons spawning there and they’ll shoot at me”

And for LIKE FIVE WHOLE SECONDS I didn’t question it and I just turned on the lights and walked out into the living room to wait it out, just thankful I had my pajamas on already so I didn’t have to fight off the shooty skeletons in my dark closet where there might be some creepers too

And then all of a sudden I was like “Wait what the frig skeletons aren’t real” and then just went back into my room

And I think about that a lot. So if ANY OF YOU dare to think that I have any more than three and a half braincells on a really good day, just please remember this and know that you are sorely mistaken

happy stimming

I have tourettes and a good portion of my tics are physical. Reading usually helps me calm them. Unless it's you. Your stuff brings out the tic where I slap myself. I find you enjoyable at the price of mild pain.

Finally, physical proof I only worsen the human condition. I love my life.

Lore-unfriendly companion who forcibly exits the menu screen to complain that they're bored if you spend more than five seconds reading an item description.

the best trope in media is: “characters turn on the lights, see the monster, and immediately turn the lights back off”