They Hate Her For Being The Funniest Bitch Alive

NEW DAY LETS TROT

i’m sick and tired of everyone beating around the bush as to why ships like melfrank or sydcarmy or even fucking. garcia and morgan from goddamn criminal minds and the like get the ‘why can’t two people just be friends/i think it’s important to highlight platonic male/female friendships/asexual representation!’ treatment. like ok sure yeah let’s get some asexuals in here lets let ppl be friends lets show a platonic friendship between a man and a woman. why this one though. what is it about this man. what is it about this woman. stop beating around the bush. say it out loud!

bus drivers are never neutral they are either heaven sent or deeply evil to their core

I just noticed that in this clip Steve picks up the receiver with his right hand, tosses it to his left… and then passes it back to his right to clock the guy

I just know that if Steve had a sword or something he would be doing so much extra fancy twirly shit

That’s what friends do. They come back.

got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes

i’m eating up every single fic where mel doesn’t have an emergency contact and frank ends up becoming hers. now i raise you this:

mel at a solo medical conference trip like 3 or 4 hours away? far but not too far

everything is going well she’s learned a ton and made connections and she even did a bit of sightseeing too?

mel & frank has been texting back and forth the whole weekend. abby has the kids so it’s just him & the goldendoodle

on mel’s last day there she ends up going out for dinner by herself, encouraged by frank alongside trinity, samira, victoria, and dennis. it’s nice. she’s not totally alone, she’s facetiming becca and then facetiming frank (so she can see his dog obviously) and it’s so so nice

but on the ride back to her hotel the weather is shit and she ends up in a wreck with her uber driver

she’s okay!!! nothing major beside a head injury and bruises/scrapes and the driver is fine but when she gets to the hospital they end up trying to persuade mel to. All someone because there was no one on her emergency contact list

mel drags her feet and tries to insist she’s okay but they are even more insistent. mel ends up breaking down and calling frank even though it’s the middle of the night and she knows he’s sleeping

he picks up pretty quickly and mel sort of blurts out she was an accident but she’s okay truly (and she is physically but she’s exhausted and overwhelmed and alone in a new place and her brain just keeps on spinning and spinning and spinning)

he promises to come asap and sure enough, by the time mel wakes up a few hours later still in the ER, frank is there. he drove…all the way over…in the middle of the night…and he’s there in pj bottoms and hoodie and beat up sneakers like he really did just wake up, roll out of bed, and leave

when mel sees him—when she sees how his dark strands are sticking up everywhere and his eyes are panicked, she lets him fuss. let’s him look her over and cradle her cheek and sit on the bed and hug her with the exact right pressure

she doesn’t say anything when the nurse assumes he’s her boyfriend and tells mel (very kindly) to add him to her contacts since he proved he would drop everything to be here

she lets frank drive her back to her hotel and settle her in bed

she lets him—no. no, she pulls back the cover and asks him to lay down with her, that he doesn’t have to force himself to sleep on the fold out couch

and then as they lay there next to each other side by side, mel and frank naturally gravitate toward each other, and then mel is curled up against frank’s side and their legs are tangled and he’s bumping his nose against her own and then—and then mel falls asleep to the feeling of hands gentling through her hair and hot lips whispering sweet words in her ear that mel wishes she could understand but she does have a migraine and she’s so sleepy~

Every morning in my bed I experience 100 lifetimes, become enlightened several times over, climb peaks and descend into valleys, lose all hope and regain it, and devise a breakfast

Just found out I was thirsty not by receiving a signal from my body about it but by dozing off and dreaming about cold water from different alluring angles. This is great. I think all my wants and needs should be revealed to me this way

Having a body is the true horror, no?