Hero’s Paradox Archive

shoutout to the earth kingdom girl zuko went on one date with. i truly believe she made the choice not to snitch on his firebending

"You know what I hate?" The Champion asked to no one in particular as he watched over the slow boiling pot of stew.

"Uh... Not having enough spices?" The Captain asked from his seat at the table.

Wild gave a nod. "Not what I was going for, but yes."

"Then what do you hate, Champ?" Wars asked while glancing over to the Vet. Legend was currently trying to stack his fork and knife on top of each other to no avail.

"How do I put this?" Wild tapped his chin in thought.

"As bluntly as you can." Hyrule chimed in.

"Fair enough. Why are certain clothes locked to certain people? It's fucking cloth." Wild complained with a laugh.

At first Wars was going to chide Wild for the language, but... He just couldn't. Wild had a point here.

"FINALLY!" Wind's loud voice startled Wars a bit as the Sailor had been awfully quiet in his seat. "Tetra and I both hate that stupid shit. What do you mean I can't wear heels? I'm trying to feel tall, and Tetra hates heels, and so somebody has to wear them."

"Tell me about it." Wild started. "Zelda let me try on one of her old royal dresses, don't ask how they survived a hundred years, and somebody had issues with that."

The Captain just laughed. Damn those social rules indeed. Wild in a dress wasn't something he was expecting to hear about today, but it was something that he could picture.

And the Champion would rock that dress.

"Heh, I've been thinking those rules were stupid since I knew they existed. So, since I was nine." Time joined the conversation. "I didn't even know what the big deal was back then."

"I'd ask how, but I'm afraid the answer would be too confusing." Twilight said.

"Oh, not at all, I was raised by forest spirits and a giant tree." The Old Man nonchalantly explained. "They didn't have concepts like "male" and "female." So imagine my confusion."

A claim that he made often but never elaborated on. Everyone, besides the Captain and Wind, thought it was a lie or a ruse.

Warriors just laughed, he couldn't help it.

"Oh little Mask and his insisting that he's a tree." Wars felt everyone's eyes turn to him.

Time laughed loudly. "You made that corporals life hell."

"I did not have time for that guy's bullshit. We are in the middle of a fucking war, if the kid says he's a tree then he's a fucking tree." Wars started to lose his composure from all of his laughing.

"What do you mean by "he's a tree"?" Sky asked while scratching his head.

"Again, I was raised by forest spirits." Time explain. "You lot, besides two, think this a lie. It's not."

"Time, your life profoundly confuses me." Sky said. "So they assigned you a tree?"

Time nodded.

"Instead of anything else?"

Another nod.

"Not like a boy tree? Just a tree?"

Another nod. "Two trees, to be exact. But yes."

"Two trees?"

"Maple and oak, to be exact."

Wars just watch the conversation with a grin. Oh, poor Sky. He must be feeling the same confusion that he and the Sailor had during the war.

"I feel so understood." Rulie said with the widest smile imaginable. "I'm just a Fae." He shrugged as the others turned to face him. "Not the legend kind of Fae. I was raised by Fairies."

"Well, now you can be a Fae tree. How lovely." Time stated with a laugh.

"What kinda tree?"

"Hmmm, you and the Captain both have the same one. Pine, and you can have maple too. As a treat."

"A Fae pine and maple tree. Nice."

"Are we just gonna brush over the fact that Wars already has a tree identity?" Legend asked.

"I do too!" Wind but in. "Take a guess, it's so obvious."

"Uh...Palm tree?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Correct!"

"What tree am I then?" Wild asked while seasoning a few cuts of meat.

"Willow." Time and Warriors both spoke at the same time.

"Damn, that was fast."

"You had this conversation before, hadn't you?" Sky asked while keeping his gaze locked to Wars. "So tell us our trees."

"Oh, alright, I'll try to remember all the specifics. It's been a while." Time laughed while tapping his fingers on the table.

"It all reminds me of the Minish. They have leaves instead of trees, though." Four, who had been quietly observing this whole time, finally spoke up.

"Oh, the Kokiri had leaves too. That's a whole other thing."

Fandoms are for noticing all the Funny Background Events, because single readers cannot possibly find all of them on their own.

A Boy and his Goldfish

So I think we all remember the goldfish. This guy here: 

That Gil manages to catch

Hold onto during the whole scene

Maneuver around

And even shield from the explosion.

But what I noticed recently while collecting my outfit reference was this little gem right here:

Yeah. That’s a fishbowl in the corner. But it could have been there before you say? Well…

Zoing is afraid of it. So it’s new. Gil kept the goldfish from TPU, the dork.

Bonus:

“Get Bigger Tub.” ….For mutant goldfish, perhaps?

Marinette has her friends over and is ranting that while Luka is great and listens to her and is always good about giving her space, what she really needs when she’s upset is touch and skin contact and hugs and squeezes

And Nino and Alya are nodding along because yeah, Mari has ADHD and she needs pressure stim, that makes sense

And she’s like “no you’re not getting it, in a perfect world when I’m upset I’d have someone to basically lie on top of me like cats do”

And Adrien, not realizing this is a hypothetical, hears the word “cat” and activates and immediately just sort of climbs onto her and drapes himself across her body without thinking

Marinette immediately goes catatonic with bewildered glee

au where everything is the same but agatha is fucking ripped from assisting with the clays mechanic shop

"Dreaming" - A 7-page Zelink comic

(...so I said it'd be a 6 pager, but... then I got distracted, and... then I had another idea...)

After being plagued by nightmares about the Calamity, Zelda has found that she sleeps better when Link is nearby. Link is more than willing to do so for her, but having him simply sit by the bed or sleep on the floor doesn't feel right to the princess, so she gathers the courage to ask if they could simply share the bed until they find a better solution. After all, the hero of Hyrule deserves to get good sleep as much as the princess.

the infamous potlid incident

Ever since I saw Daruk's diary I can't stop thinking about this scene in my head. A literal pot lid got Link appointed to be Zelda's guard.....

Impa probably scampers over to check on Zelda and Link uses that moment to crabwalk away before he can make a bigger fool of himself😂

usually in redeemed!vader fanfic obi-wan crops up at some point, but i'm honestly glad he doesn't in your double agent vader series, mostly because it allows more room for vader/leia interaction, but secondarily because i don't think even obi-wan can come up with a reply to vader's (inevitable) scathing, "i'd risk life and limb for you, but i don't have any," and i'm not ready for obi-wan to be that thoroughly roasted

Oh my God.

I started reading this thinking I was gonna give you a long and thoughtful reply, but then I got to the end and I just.

That’s the sickest burn I’ve ever seen. Like damn. I am in awe of you, anon. I never would have thought of that one myself.