Metgala Had Passed Once Again, And I Can't Stop Thinking About How Badly The Batsiblings Would Judge

Today, Dean feels an ache and pressure in his right knee. Cas offers to help heal it, but Dean brushes him off, saying that it's fine. An hour later it begins to rain and Jack is calling him an old man.

After Bruce took Dick under his care, he actually stopped wasting time on any casual relationships - it seemed inconceivable when a little traumatized boy with unrestrained aggression and a desire to commit a capital murder was waiting for him at home. But after a few years, he thought, to hell with it, he deserved one night of good old fun. So he went to this gala concert in his best outfit, having previously arranged with Alfred to take Dick out for a short hike so that the mansion would be free during the night. And when he started looking for his "victim", he came across this charming reporter, all screaming Mr. Awkward with the broadest shoulders known to a man, and hands as warm as his smile, and Bruce, of course, takes him home. And everything goes great, only Dick returns earlier than Bruce expected, and enters his bedroom as usual without knocking.

Dick: hey B look i collected a whole basket of mushro— SUPERMAN??

Bruce, still half asleep, barely covering himself with a blanket: what

Dick: WHY IS THERE SUPERMAN IN YOUR BED.

Clark, without his glasses, his hair is combed back from the position of his head on the pillow: um

Bruce, already embarrassed and feeling like he'd failed as a guardian by letting Dick catch him the morning after: Dick what are you talking about, it's just some—

Bruce, turning to face Clark:

Bruce, paling:

Dick: THIS IS THE SUPERMAN YOU DICKHEAD WHAT IS HE DOING IN YOUR BED WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM—

Bruce: i... i don't know how to answer that

Dick, almost crying: DID YOU MAKE LOVE TO HIM WITHOUT TELLING ME—

Reblog if you’d be okay if your friend came out as transgender

let’s see how many transphobics we can weed out

Jason should kill the Joker and just not tell anyone. like, lets be real here, if he were to silently slip in and kill the Joker in his sleep, are any of the workers at Arkham really going to give enough of a shit to say anything??? with the paperwork they’d have to do, and the attention they’d get once the media caught wind of the break in/murder, i bet all Jason would have to do is leave like, a basket of muffins next to the dead body as a thank you and the staff would just dispose of the body and shut the fuck up about it.

i bet you he could get through a solid six to eight month period of being weirdly happy and interactive with the rest of the family before Dick finally asks why he’s been in such a good mood lately over family dinner

Jason, casually: i dunno, i guess i’ve just had a weight lifted from my shoulders; there’s less to drive me away now.

Bruce, thinking he’s finally done something right: aw Jaylad, i’m so happy you’re feeling more comfortable!

Dick, the only batkid around when Jason was Robin, remembering all the times Jason would transform into the happiest kid on the planet only for them to find out a week later it was because he’d pushed a bully down the stairs at school and fractured his wrist: hold on B.

Dick: Jay, what weight has been lifted?

Jason, still nonplussed: well i finally got my GED, and the Joker thing really calmed the lazarus rage. also Steph got me into puppy yoga, we go once a week.

Bruce:

Bruce: what Joker thing.

Jason, glancing up from his food: ? d’i not mention that? he’s dead, man.

Bruce:

Dick:

Dick: sorry, what?

Tim: why the fuck am i never invited to puppy yoga?

Bruce, having a panic attack: y- what are you talking about Jay-

Tim: i would LOVE to go to puppy yoga. what the FUCK?

Jason, shrugging: you can come to puppy yoga, replacement, it’s all good

Bruce: the Joker’s dead?

Tim: FUCK YEAH, PUPPY YOGA

Jason: i think they do it with goats too.

Damian: i would be interested in this activity.

Jason: hell yeah family yoga session

Bruce: JASON PLEASE EXPAND ON THE JOKER THING

Jason: no i don’t like your tone. anyway, dick, puppy yoga?

Dick:

Dick, glancing at Bruce’s glare nervously: …i would be down for puppy yoga

AU where instead of being pissed at Tim for replacing him, Jason is actually over the moon that there’s another kid in the Wayne household vying for the spot of Batman’s sidekick. this is specifically because he knows that after spending all his time at the League of Assassins trying to keep this little fucking demon brat away from him so he can train in peace, now Tim will attract Damian’s anger and Jason can be left the fuck alone.

-at the league-

Jason, meditating: *sighs peacefully*

Jason:

Jason, eyes still closed: don’t you fucking dare, Damian.

Damian, standing three feet away poised to throw a rock at his head: oh sure, you can sense this but not keep yourself alive. pathetic. i will be a better Robin than you, mark my words.

Jason, has been through six months of this: give it a rest you infant

Damian: *throws the rock*

Jason: DAMIAN-

~

Ra’s: Jason, i have need for you on an international mission-

Ra’s:

Ra’s: why.

Jason, holding Damian away from him with one hand while Damian swipes at him with a katana: ASK HIM

Damian: I WILL BEAT MY PREDECESSOR IN COMBAT TO PROVE TO MY FATHER I AM WORTHY OF A PLACE AT HIS SIDE.

Jason: I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT’S NOT HOW ROBIN WORKS-!

Damian: STOP DODGING MY BLADE

Ra’s:

Ra’s, walking out the room: i should never have let Talia adopt another heir.

~

Talia: was your latest mission hard on you, beloved? you are injured.

Jason, face scratched to hell: mission was fine, Damian just got the jump on me in my sleep last night.

Talia:

Jason: i was overtired and it took me longer than usual to kick him into the wall.

Talia, sighing: did you at least take him to the med room after defeating him?

Jason: by the scruff of his neck, yeah.

Talia: at least he is resilient.

Jason, bite marks on his arm: that’s one fucking word for him.

-once Jason gets to Gotham-

Tim: JASON?!

Jason, breaking into Titans Tower: you’re Robin now?

Tim: I- YES BUT I NEVER MEANT TO REPLACE-

Jason, leaning in: good. tag, you’re it.

Tim: ??!?

Damian shows up in Gotham and Jason turns to point him at Tim before going ‘MUSH’ and sprinting in the opposite direction.

Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—

me impatiently to the little french cat boiling me in a stew: chat am I cooked

In the world of white collar it is important to support Neal Caffrey’s rights but even more important to support Neal Caffrey’s wrongs

let’s lay flat on our ovoidal mama

buck eddie and ravi at a bar (hen and chim went home to their wives like an HOUR ago) and buck is yapping to eddie all night and ravi is like "oh my god buck is in love with eddie when will this nightmare end" and then buck is like "okay one second eddie i'm going to get a refresh on the drinks" with the biggest widest smile on his face and ravi goes "oh thank fuck a break from evan 'pathetic for his man' buckley" but oh ho ho...

as soon as buck is out of earshot eddie goes "oh my god he's so great isn't he he just brightnens every room hes in i think he's so neat i could listen to him for hours" and ravi is just like FUCK THERES ANOTHER ONE (boss music) EDDIE 'HEART EYES FOR MY MAN' DIAZ APPROACHES

i think ravi just puts his head on the table. when he asks hen (the next time their at work) like "hey when are they gonna get their shit together" hen just deadpan goes "do you want to put a bet in the buddie betting pool" and ravi is like "THE FUCKING WHAT" and she goes "it's been going since before you did your probie days" and ravi goes "...... oh my god those loser idots" and chim chimes in from the couch going "OUR loser idots, tho"