We All Lost Him.

I love scam calls that are easily verifiably false. “Your mortgage is about to default.” Cool 👍 I don’t have one of those

I do enjoy Dean getting initially twitchy and weird over fake dating Cas for a case and being super awkward with it BUT I also love the idea(and actually find it to be a bit more canon) of him immediately falling into the role perfectly and Cas being the awkward one. Because Deans a romantic at heart and if he’s gonna play a role he’s gonna play it. He goes full romcom. Pet names just rolling off the tongue and pda becomes instant second nature. He’s slapping his ass and slipping his arm around his waist while Cas is stiff as a statue. He manually puts Cas’ hand into his back pocket while they’re walking like “cmon man we gotta sell it!” He plants a kiss on wide eyed Cas’ cheek and manages to not blush until he’s rounded the corner while Cas bluescreens. Hes got their hands intertwined every chance he gets. Cas eventually catches up and when hes the one to initiate that’s when Dean loses every bit of cool he had. Cas calls him pet names and he instantly chokes on his own tongue. Cas slides his hand into Deans back pocket like he told him to and Dean almost jumps out of his skin. Cas kisses him and you can almost see the smoke pouring out of his ears. He can dish it out but he can’t take it

the way ravi was so starry eyed and throwing himself into eddie’s arms was so funny. like eddie pulled that idea straight from a cartoon basically and its not like all that unheard of for them to use zip lines for rescues anyway and here comes ravi “how did you come up with that?? 🤩🤩🤩” panikkar

i wrote better rpf fic at 14 than whatever the fuck tim minear is doing

summer 2025, the summer of the last great american queerbait

I was so certain about buddie endgame in the finale…

ok but admitting that you hooked up with your ex to avoid thinking about your best friend is crazy work

I love the idea of Jason somehow becoming Damian's designated driving instructor when he turns 16. Nobody remembers how it happened, least of all Jason.

———

"You're going to kill us both," Jason says calmly, one hand braced against the dashboard as Damian takes a corner at approximately twice the recommended speed.

"Tt. I have perfect reflexes, Todd. I was trained by the League of Assassins."

"Yeah, to kill people, not parallel park. Slow DOWN."

The car screeches to a halt at a red light, throwing them both forward. Jason sighs deeply.

"I've literally trained with Formula One drivers," Damian mutters, tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. “I’ve been driving since I could speak.”

"Is that why you're treating Gotham's pothole-ridden streets like Monaco? Light's green."

As Damian accelerates again, Jason gets a text. He glances down to see it's from Dick.

'how's it going?'

'he's either going to be the best driver in the family or we're both going to die. no in-between.'

"Stop texting Grayson about me," Damian says without looking away from the road.

"Stop reading my texts while you're DRIVING."

"I have peripheral vision superior to—"

"I SWEAR TO GOD, DEMON SPAWN—"

Bruce calls Jason later that night. "How did it go?"

"Great. Your son only tried to kill me seven different ways with my beat up old Toyota. New record."

"So... you'll take him again Thursday?"

Jason hangs up, but they both know he'll be there.

The Batfam definitely has a group chat called "Official Mission Communications ONLY" that Bruce created with the strictest instructions about its purpose.

It lasted exactly 12 hours before Dick sent a meme.

Now it's just chaos, but Bruce never leaves because secretly it's how he keeps tabs on everyone.

Every few weeks he'll respond to 74 messages of nonsense with a single "Focus." and everyone behaves for approximately 5 minutes.

The real mission communications happen in individual texts directly to Bruce, who feels a tiny spark of relief each time his phone pings with "OFFICIAL MISSION CHAT (217 unread messages)" because it means they're all still alive enough to be annoying.

Occasionally in the middle of arguments about cereal rankings and who stole whose equipment, Bruce will just type "Status?" and everyone immediately responds with their location and condition. No one ever comments on this ritual, but everyone participates without fail.

Even Jason, who once replied "bleeding out in an alley but the cereal argument is worth it" which resulted in five vigilantes converging on his location in under three minutes.

The most treasured screenshot in Tim's blackmail folder is from the one time Bruce accidentally sent "proud of you all" at 3:42 AM after a particularly rough night. No one has ever mentioned it directly, but Damian has it printed and hidden in his sketchbook.

You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian