Latest Posts by lankyhorologist - Page 2

drew over something i wrote for a class and liked :] sorry the cars are lowkey ugly, its because I fucking hate cars and cant be bothered to learn what they look like beyond ominous hunks of metal

edit: transcript of the poem by itself under the cut

6 Tips for Crossing the Road

Look both ways

The road is for cars. 

Make sure to look for them before crossing. Even when you have the right of way, cars have a lot of safety features and you have none. 

Use designated crosswalks 

The road is for cars. 

So is the crosswalk but, under brief and temporary conditions, you can use it too! Never jaywalk, never walk in the road, just hope there is a clear and functional sidewalk. 

Cross at the light

The road is for cars. 

There are rules and signs for them, but that can only go so far. Walk quickly and hold your breath and hope that the light doesn't turn. Make eye contact with drivers as their cars teem with potential energy, rumbling with disdain at the inconvenience of your crossing. Try to ignore the cloud of exhaust that you are in and they are above. 

Leash your pets

The road is for cars. 

Obviously. 

To you, it may be natural to sacrifice so much space to them but to your dog, it is not. His instinct is to explore freely. You must curb it. Modern US car models have such high hoods that the average child, let alone dog, is obscured. Even on the sidewalk, hold the leash tight because the sidewalk (if you are so blessed) is next to the street and the threat still looms.

Look out for road kill

The road is for cars. 

And no one was there to leash the deer. 

Or the raccoon. 

Or the cat. 

Did you know that the most reliable sample method for wildlife in an area is looking at the roadkill? 

Remember these tips

The road is for cars. 

Cars are everywhere. In the city. In the suburbs. In the country. In the woods (the US Forest Service manages more roads than the entire Ministry of Transit in China.) Cars are everywhere because there are roads to bring them there, which is great if you are a car and want to get from place to place fast without worrying about the in-between. 

Unfortunately, you are not a car. 

You are an animal. 

You are in-between. 

So remember to look both ways. 

*deposits a creature into your hands*

What does it look like? What will you all do together?

OH IM SO GLAD U ASKED

I have this lil baby in the barrel just in case God wants to give me a freebie

It’s called a Plom and you can pet it in any direction

When the debate comes up of whether or not our entire existence is a Matrix-style simulation, I often hear the argument that we can’t possibly be living in a simulation because the laws of physics we experience are too complex and the computational power necessary to reproduce them would be astronomical.

But like… that is such a flawed argument! If our entire universe is simulated, who is to say that the meta-universe, in which the simulations are being run, is bounded by the same constraints on compute power as our fake world?

That’s like a Minecraft villager arguing that it can’t possibly be living in a simulation because the redstone necessary to simulate its world would be too complicated. And that may be true but… spoiler alert the villagers *is* living in a simulation. It’s called Minecraft, and we humans don’t use redstone to run it

so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge

“And Elesh Norn, of course”

“Of course”

started to type “ppl will call themselves monsterfuckers just bc they’re into pyramidhead 🙄” and i think maybe i should logout and use facebook for a few days to recalibrate my perspective on society at large

Started playing subnautica

please watch this raw, unedited 2 minute clip from Bill Nye the Science Guy (1995) it is on some next level shit that is so far ahead of its time 

HE’S ONLY GETTING PAID 13 GOLD TO MURDER SOMEONE??? EXCUSE ME😭 PAY THIS MAN HIS WORTH!!

The transition from “Why do *I* need to survive” in the original post to “YOUR tragic and graphic demise” in the follow-up is some kind of ominous threat

"if you got isekai'd into [story] would you survive?"

why do i need to survive? is it not enough to have one charming conversation with geralt of rivia before dying tragically and preventably two days later thus changing the trajectory of his life forever ?? ?

(Source)

i would do anything to be styled by whoever does benoit blanc's costumes

how do magnets work. do you think they just like each other

The passing process once again!

✨🌟✨Happy new year!!✨🌟✨

Best wishes and all the success possible for all of you for 2025!!

You got this!

(and yes 5 look at them so .... backward style haha)

All I have are grunts and underlings :/

As new regulations coming into effect December 31st stipulate that a boss must have at least two (2) goons, minions, and/or henchpersons at their beck and call in order to retain certification, we regret to inform you that your girlboss has been reclassified as girlselfemployed.

Damn

just remembered this old clickhole video i used to be obsessed with

have you ever pet a dog and then immediately felt better? like it makes you feel happy? That's what we in the gaming community call "gaining elo". you are "on your way to plat" as they say. keep petting more dogs

“Oh boy, I love exploring the underdark! I hope I don’t find anything scary down here”

The terrible beholder:

You are sitting on a bench at the park. Someone approaches you. You turn to look at them, but you don’t recognize them. A stranger. They sit down next to you. Something isn’t quite right about them. Their hair is matted, their skin is rubbery, their eyes are vacant, their movements are unnatural. When you look at them, they just sit there. But when you look away, they- it- touches your arm. Its hand is CERTAINLY not human. Three fingers- long and slimy and bony- massage your arm and shoulders, feeling out the structure of your joints. You whip your head to face it again, and out of the corner of your eye you see a foreign appendage slink under the folds of its skin and clothes, which, you are now quite sure, form one costume together. You stand up and back away in horror. It doesn’t quite watch you go.

But then the for-profit, privately operated prisons would lose the free labor that they rent out! Even worse, the prisoners would be more likely to successfully integrate into society upon release rather than reoffending, and THEN how are the prison corporations supposed to get their paycheck from Uncle Sam? I suppose that next, you’ll tell me that we shouldn’t even be imprisoning nonviolent marijuana users, or overpolicing urban areas inhabited by socioeconomically disadvantaged demographics. It’s like you don’t even respect how hard the prison lobbyists work to EARN the current system. Grow up

I'm not actually inherently against the idea of prison labour in the sense that I am not against fairly compensated, voluntary jobs for prisoners. If there was a well-regulated program in place to give prisoners jobs with the same paycheque anyone else in that field gets, with training, work experience, job skills, etc when they got out I'd be all for it. That way they'd have a proper resume and demonstrated skills to fall back on and could find work and rejoin society again on their own independence, like how rehabilitation is supposed to work. Actually, add some financial literacy and life skills education on top of that while they're serving their sentence, and you're setting them up for success rather than re-incarceration when they get out again. What I'm against is slave labour forced upon prisoners for pennies on the dollar, if they get anything at all.

At this point, if donald trump announced that he was appointing jk rowling to the newly-invented position of Federal Investigator of Biological Fairness in Sports, I wouldn’t bat an eye

reviews on famous novel "don't create the torment nexus" are in!

one reviewer gives a one star review, saying, "i can't believe the writer would let the torment nexus exist in this world. doesn't he realize how awful the torment nexus would be in real life?"

another reviewer, with a two star review, says "yeah, the book was okay, the characters were all great, but i just can't get over the torment nexus. why is there such a terrible thing? don't they realize they'd be better off without the torment nexus?"

a third reviewer gave five stars, saying "i'm glad this book was written. they really need to create the torment nexus, that would really improve civilization by a lot." in the comment replies to this review, the reviewer indicated that this review was not sarcasm.

overall, "don't create the torment nexus" has a rating of two stars. find it in these stores......

This post should’ve been on the voyager golden record. Easily in mankind’s top 5 funniest creations

people always talk about evil clones like oooh a dark mirror oohh what if you saw what are cruel person you were/are capable of becoming. and well yes but what if you were the evil clone. what if you looked in the mirror and what you saw was so bright it blinded you. what if you had to know exactly how good you could have been.

Starting a collection

If you have more I'd love to see them this is my favorite meme format ever