TIMEBOMB Again

TIMEBOMB again

i sleep so i can see you (i hate to wait so long)

ੈ✩‧₊ chapter 1: sam likes josh

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image credit: @bratjosh one of my FAV accounts for screencaps!! <3

pairing: josh washington x sam giddings

synopsis: The first time Sam has a proper interaction with the twins' older brother, she's on the ground. When Sam is in the tenth grade, he's the reason she gets called to the principal's office. She's got her phone beside her pillow at full volume at all times and he's why. She realises that she'll be making excuses for him all her life. Josh and Sam in the years leading up to the prank. Or, all the boys people Samantha Giddings has ever had a crush on.

a/n: hi.... this is my first post on here officially - i am LONG retired from writing, but i have loved these two since FOREVER and wanted to give it a shot. expect many chapters!

word count: 4.6k

The first time Sam has a proper interaction with the twins’ older brother, she’s on the ground. It’s the scrape of wet gravel dragging across her back and stinging pain that makes her eyes water that embeds the event into her memory forever. She recalls looking up from the schoolyard floor and seeing a flannel with a white t-shirt under it, the fabric flapping wildly in the cool wind like a superhero’s cape. Even now, when she thinks back to that moment, it isn’t the fight that she remembers first - it’s the bright red on his white shirt from the other boy’s nose. He’s got the boy’s arm pinned behind his back.

She knew that middle schoolers got into fights, but it had never happened so close to her. And over her childish badge, too? Embarrassment bubbled in her stomach.

Sam is in the fifth grade, but she still wears a pink glittery badge with gold stars on her pencil case. It says Save the Manatees in big white bubble letters and she’s ashamed to admit that her dad bought it for her when they went to the conservation centre in Florida. That was last summer, before she was old enough to realise that the trip was the last time she would see her parents within the same vicinity of each other. Now she will spend her second Christmas alone with her mother, making do with Christmas movies on the TV and dinner alone because her mother’s on the night shift.

It was the last day before winter break and Hannah and Beth wanted to spend time at Sam’s before they went back to their lodge for Christmas.

“It’s nothing special, just so you know,” Sam said quickly.

The twins didn’t care, but Sam’s ears reddened at the thought of the twins stepping into her mom’s little 80s style apartment. Despite going to school in the Hills, the twins were rich - a whole different plane of existence than the other students. Their dad was the Bob Washington, but if you met them you wouldn’t even be able to tell, by the way that Hannah has kept the same pencil case since the third grade (she’s emotionally attached to it) or the way that despite receiving designer earrings from her father every Christmas and birthday, Beth still wears spiky rubber earrings from Claire’s (“but they’re cute!” she protests, whenever someone points it out).

So she had let them start to walk her home, before she had felt for her little pink pencil case and noticed that it didn’t occupy its usual spot linked around her bag strap.

“Just because your daddy’s famous doesn’t make you the boss of me.” The other boy chucks the badge to the floor. Sam couldn’t tell the boys apart through her blurred vision - through her dusty eyelashes their arms were linked like two bulls at the horns. The older boy chuckles like this isn’t even his maximum capacity, and twists the other’s arm further with effortless ease.

When Sam finally is able to blink away her tears, only mortification ensues. It was Hannah and Beth’s brother who had come to her rescue; the infamous Josh Washington, who had won the affection of all the girls in the fifth grade.

Before she was friends with the twins, she had heard all sorts of stories about Josh Washington. Sam had never spoken to Josh, only seen him around school with his cocky half-smile and bag on one shoulder decorated with patches of obscure rock bands.

“He’s really cute,” a girl in her class once told her. “But he’s scary."

“My brother’s in his class and he said a special anger management teacher takes him out of class for one period every day,” another girl mused. “It’s because he’s insane, I bet.”

Sometimes she had tried to sneak a peek at him when she was over at the Washingtons’ - she wanted to know how the oldest Washington actually lived - if he really lived up to his infamy. He occupied her imagination sometimes - she would always imagine what he did beyond that great oak door he hid behind. He danced, maybe - she imagined big, scary Josh Washington whose knuckles were always bruised - he would sway along in his room with his headphones on like she would sometimes with his hands clasped over the sides. Sam already decided in her head -yes, Josh Washington wasn’t scary one bit.

Hannah and Beth always spoke highly of their older brother, despite the whispers from kids at school. Nothing anybody said about him was true - well, only half true - Josh had a wild temper, but the baseball incident only occurred because the offending party called Hannah a baby; and he actually didn’t attend anger management classes - it was a visiting therapist prescribed by his (private, and very expensive) psychologist.

The twins had mentioned he had struggled with mental health issues, but assured her it rarely affected his day-to-day life and if he hadn’t had to go to the therapist every day, you wouldn’t even be able to tell. This didn’t bother Sam - she had realised that there was something deeply wrong with her parents since she was maybe eight, and was well-equipped with dealing with people of questionable levels of emotional stability.

The younger boy tries to spit on him, but Josh kicks in his calf so that he drops to one knee. “Pick it up and say you’re sorry.”

The boy mutters a sort of apology in the direction of Sam and kicks the pin towards her. He’s trying to break out of Josh’s reach like a wild dog, but her hero is stronger and he presses harder onto the boy’s arm. A tornado of dust is getting kicked up around her by the boy’s legs, flailing ferociously and she has to use a hand to shield her eyes. Through the smut she can see Josh like he’s suburban Jesus, light from the classrooms peeking out from behind his silhouette.

“Nicely." Josh says it like it’s a threat.

A choke escapes his mouth as Josh lets him sink to the ground like water.

“I’m sorry,” he coughs out. The boy and Sam are on even footing now - she reddens as he extends an arm to return the pin. He doesn’t want to look at her, eyes trained to the floor behind him but Josh nudges his head with his knee so they are face to face. It seems stupid now, and she raises a shaky arm to take it back. The badge is mangled, a great crack extending through the diameter of the plastic right through the stars.

“You’re a fucking psycho,” the boy spits, and he makes himself scarce, red rubies of blood trailing him.

Sam looks to his savior and his expression softens. She must’ve looked visibly shaken, because when he pulls her to her feet he’s taking care to act with gentle motions.

“Are you alright?” He dusts off the gravel from her back with a touch so light she can hardly believe that his fists were the cause of the blood dripping down his shirt. Josh double taps the middle of her back to signal Sam to lift her shirt. Her bare back is grazed with blood and dirt - she hadn’t realised how hard she had been pushed to the ground until now.

Years of having two younger sisters have taught him well, because he uses his drink bottle to clear out the dirt from her graze with a careful hand, then wipes it clean with his shirt. When the cool water makes contact with her skin she tries not to shiver - LA is rarely cold but it’s the middle of winter and the breeze makes it bite. With a careful finger he brushes the dirt out of the plastic badge and fixes it back to her pencil case.

“My badge,” she says dumbly. It’s all she can muster at the moment.

Ten minutes later, Josh is walking her back to her sisters, a gentle hand on the small of her back, so soft that she’d almost forgotten she had grazed her back on the gravel. When they walk together, the heat of his touch warms her so the winter breeze doesn’t hurt her as much as it should. He’s not at all like what the kids in her class say - he’s actually quite normal, because they’re talking about their favourite music and what movies they like to watch, and Josh promises her that he’ll show her some real horror movies next time she’s over at the Washingtons’. He has his schoolbag around one shoulder, and Sam’s on the other, her pencil case looped around the strap of her bag. Josh has a steady arm around her throughout the whole walk back and it doesn’t relent, even when she thinks kids are making fun of him because he’s hanging out with an elementary school kid.

“Oh my god, Josh, what happened to you?!” Hannah gasped at the red swelling skin around his eye.

“Oh, Sam, your poor badge,” Beth touches her hand to the fissure on the pin and then the gravel lines lining Sam’s back. “Was it that asshole from Ms Johnston’s class? I’ll show him next time I see him.”

“No need,” Josh says, proudly brandishing his bruise. “He won’t touch Sam ever again.”

From then he’s been her knight in shining armour - Josh makes it his duty to be her personal bodyguard, assuring her that he’ll walk her home from school every day, even when it rains. He holds her bag too, and proudly, even though it’s pink, which makes her flush out of embarrassment, but also secretly pride. She imagines they will get married when they’re older and get a house with two kids and a dog. When they’re back from Christmas break, Josh dons a Save the Manatees badge on his bag as well, to which Sam responds by ironing a The Cure patch onto her own. He gets them matching star pins for their bags, just like the stars on her badge, and Sam keeps it on the left strap of her bag, next to her heart.

This only makes them subject to the twins’ relentless teasing, and they sing “Josh loves Sam!” as the three of them walk home from school.

Hannah mostly likes middle school - when she has classes with Sam and Beth. She's jealous of the way that most of the other girls wanted to be friends with them, and wondered why it was that she ended up so weird. She has fourth period art class alone, which usually she would like if she actually knew anybody in her class. Everyone else has already packed up their kits, but she's sitting in her stained white t-shirt with her glasses folded in her lap. Sam rushes to her side and wraps her into her arms, dabbing her face with her sweater sleeve. Something that she's sure of is that middle school girls are evil - she's certain, by the way the girls in her class call her 'Hannibal,' because her dad makes horror movies, and the way they splatter blotches of paint on the back of her shirt.

"Oh, Han," she sighs, rubbing her shoulder. "Don't listen to them."

"Be honest," Hannah hiccups through tear-strained eyes. "Do you think my brother is insane?"

Sam brushes her fingers through Hannah's hair and smooths it back, tucking it behind her ears. She finds it endearing, that out of all the things that the girls have teased her about, Hannah's the most worried about her brother. That's the quality that she loved the most about the youngest Washington daughter - she loved her family as hard as she could, with every fiber of her being and with her whole heart.

"Everyone's insane. They were all over him like, a month ago," she rolls her eyes. "They're being ridiculous."

Hannah sobs softly into her hands, hot tears burning through Sam's sleeves.

"Hey, hey, don't cry." Sam picks up the fattest paintbrush on the table and draws a thick line running through her stomach, the red dripping down her shirt like blood. She pulls a face and makes a spluttering noise, like she's a horror movie victim, and the blood splatters on the table and onto Hannah's arm. "Look. I'm insane too."

She smiles, but Hannah's voice still cracks when she speaks. "You're going to ruin your hoodie."

"So? We'll be matching, at least." Sam dips her finger in the thick paint and traces out H + B = BFF :) on her chest, and then onto Hannah's back. "Don't be sad, Han. Who cares about those girls? It's me and you forever."

When they enter the ninth grade, Josh is happy to make them a part of his world, a world where he possesses the ability to spin everyone around his little finger. He always calls out to her in the cafeteria, surrounded by a throng of admirers, his smile always the widest and brightest. Sam rolls her eyes but there’s a part of her that thinks it’s endearing that so many people are enamoured with him.

Beth doesn’t need his help at all, because on the first day of high school all the girls in their homeroom are asking her opinion on their clothes and inviting her to the movies over the weekend.

“They don’t like me," Beth huffs. “They only wanna be friends to get close to Josh.”

She didn’t know when she started paying attention to the way Josh’s shirt stuck to his body, or when she first realised her heart quickened whenever he had texted her first. In a way, she understood why so many girls at school liked him - he was naturally charming; he had a way of leaning close and listening with his whole body whenever someone spoke to him, making them feel like they’re the most important thing in the world.

While having an objectively hot brother definitely added to the appeal, Sam understood why everyone wanted to be friends with Beth, too. She could find a way to make anybody laugh - she and Josh shared the quality of being able to mess around through life like it was all one big game - a trait that Sam never quite got the hang of.

Sam’s first high school party is a pool party at the held by Josh at the Washington estate. The oldest Washington had been entrusted the house by Bob and Melinda for the weekend, freshly out of the hospital, who responded by promptly buying a keg. It's September but it's still hot outside, and she hasn't spoken to Josh properly all summer break. Sam doesn’t think she’ll ever be one for partying, but she can’t help but to admit that she loves the rush of epicureanism that comes with holding a red cup in her hand for the first time. It’s 100 degrees, and Sam matches navy low-cut swimsuits with the twins. They’re racy - not something she’s ever worn in her life before, but she’s excited to get a taste of the high school life. Hannah refuses at first, but Sam and Beth convince her, and they sparkle in their silver beach cover-up skirts.

Sam helps Josh and the twins set up, unfolding the ping pong table for beer pong in the garage while Beth blows balloons. When she’s done, she gets up to look for Hannah, who said she was setting up snacks. Despite coming over every other week, she loves the intrigue of the Washington house - its tall ceilings and dark oak floors. Every time she’s here, she stops to take in the sheer size of it, and admire the gorgeous antique furniture Melinda’s decorated the estate with. She stops at the doorway of the living room to see Josh, dancing alone to the newly set up speaker system.

It’s an old 80s funk song, and he’s shaking his shoulders, singing along to the catchy chorus, until he catches her eye and sways his arms along to her, snapping in time to the beat. Something about the fact that he isn’t even embarrassed - and instead starts whipping out more elaborate dance moves - makes her feel proud to know him. The worst part is, he’s actually good at it.

“You know how to dance, Sammy?” he asks.

She breaks into a silly shoulder roll. “Baby, I know how to dance.”

He pulls her into a salsa and she can’t help but giggle. His hands are gentle and strong, clasping her hands firmly and it makes her blush. Josh claps in time to the beat, pulling her hands towards, then away from him and raising his hand to twirl her. The Washington living room is huge, and the newly set-up speakers make the music feel like it’s radiating below their feet. He drops a hand lightly to her hips and shimmies her along to the song. She has to admit, it’s fun - and she rolls her hips and claps as their laughter rings out through the room.

She accidentally locks eyes with him, but he only smiles and gives her a squeeze on the hip. Sam turns her body to him and he stops for a second, looking down at her lips and then back up at her eyes again.

“Hey, uh, Sam.” He pauses like he’s hesitating. “Thanks for, y'know ... looking out for my sisters while I’ve been gone.”

“They hardly need looking out for.” She puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes gently. “We’re all here for you, Josh.”

Josh reaches for her and her heart starts to quicken. She wants to know what it feels like to close the gap between them, to experience what she’s only seen in movies. They’re standing so close - all she would need to do is take a step. Her mind starts racing at the idea and she quickly waves it away - no - it can’t be Josh.

A beat of silence.

He brushes her shoulder with his fingertips.

“Sorry. Dust on you.”

Her gaze is abruptly interrupted by mock gagging noises at the door. They break apart from each other immediately, Sam sheepishly smiling and making herself busy with her hair.

“Um, gross.”

Hannah is at the door, crossing her arms. She’s peering at the two with an intense look of amusement and surprise.

“Get a room, lovebirds.”

“You’re no fun, Han,” Josh smirks, but another song starts playing and Sam takes Hannah’s hand and leads her into a rumba box step. Dancing with Hannah is easier, she thinks - she doesn’t feel the pressure of being perceived, unlike when she’s dancing with Josh.

When it gets dark later that night, Sam has to put a t-shirt on to keep the goosebumps from pimpling her skin. The alcohol seems to make everyone around her immune to the breeze though, because everyone’s still in their swimwear. She’s on the karaoke machine between Beth, Emily and Jess, who’s definitely had too much to drink, because the latter is holding on to her with a death grip and yelling expletives at any man who comes close to her. They’re singing a girly pop song, complete with some silly choreography from Beth and Sam memorised from years of playing Just Dance together.

She doesn’t notice, but Josh surveys her from beside the pool, smiling at her childish moves. When the song is about to end, she sees him watching and winks, pointing a disco finger at him.

“Sammy!” Josh calls out, and she excuses herself to make his way towards him. He’s following her with his eyes, until she reaches his side, which makes him look away as if he’s been caught. He's lighter now, maybe the effect of a few beers, because his shoulders are back and relaxed and he's moving in slow motion.

“Yes, Josh?”

“I just wanted to let you know that…” he leans down to get closer to her. There’s a split second where he pauses, and she can’t tell if she imagined it, or if he gazes down at her lips. They’re locking eyes now, for a beat too long, and Sam holds her breath waiting for the impact of his words.

“You got something on your shirt.”

He reaches down as if to brush something off her. Her heart jolts when instead, he loops an arm around her waist and tries swinging her into the pool.

But her reflexes are faster. She latches onto his wrist and pulls him in with her, giggling as they plunge into the cool water. They’re panting a combination of laughs and shivers now and Josh bobs to break the surface of the water, flicking his wet hair out of his eyes.

“You’re gonna have to do a whole lot better than that to get me, sweetheart.” He lunges for her waist and she feels him circle it with his hands, hoisting her above his head. His movements are strong and steady, and despite being in the water, it feels safe.

“Don’t you dare drop me Josh-” she starts, but she’s too late, and he chucks her in the water with a deafening splash. Sam tries to get him in a headlock, but he wrestles her off, hands clasping around her wrists, sending shivers down her spine. Josh moves both of her wrists to one hand and pokes her side with the other and it makes her squirm into him.

They’re wrestling now, hands intertwined as she tries to splash him in the face. She’s surprised at how strong he is - she realises he’s never seen him shirtless before, only hoodies and pyjamas - and he’s much more muscular than he expected, chiseled like a statue.

“Wait, wait, wait, shhh.” Josh pulls her close into him and pivots her body so their bodies are pressed together. His hands are closed over hers so that they’re steady, stopping her from splashing any further. He leans down to her ear, and she can feel the electricity flickering from his wet chest pressed against her back. Sam suddenly feels hot, and she inhales to get her bearings again.

“Do you see that?” he whispers. His alcohol breath tickles her ear and she tries her best not to flinch. He nods towards Chris and Ashley sitting by the side of the pool, almost social distancing from how far apart they’re trying to hold a conversation. Their bodies are turned in towards each other, and it’s endearing how obviously in love they are - despite neither of them knowing. Ashley giggles at a joke Chris says and shifts closer to him, to which he turns away and runs a hand through his hair.

“Aww, so cute,” she muses. Her back is still pressed against him and she’s aware of how warm his skin feels against her’s.

“I know you think I’m cute, Sammy, you don’t need to remind me.” A cocky smirk lights his face, and she splashes his face with water. He breaks away from her, shielding his face from the chlorine with his hands.

“You’re so annoying. I meant them.”

“Don’t you think that all they need to finally hook up-” he bumps her with his hip, “is a little push?”

That’s how by the end of the night, Josh has convinced Chris and Ashley to have a chicken fight with them, and Sam feels like her face should not be flushing this much thinking about her legs wrapped around her best friend’s brother’s shoulders.

Ashley lunges for her and Sam steadies herself, tensing her legs around Josh’s arms. He responds by tightening his grip around her shins.

“Watch out, cochise. My girl can fight.” Josh taunts. My girl. The phrase shouldn’t make her cheeks flush as much as it does - Josh would flirt with anything that walked. She swerves from Ashley’s grip, reaching for the other girl’s arms. Ashley swipes at her but she dodges, reaching down to splash her with water. The two interlock fingers, trying to twist the other into the water, but Sam’s stronger and she almost topples Ashley forward into the water.

Ashley steadies herself, obviously flushing from accidentally brushing Chris with her chest. If he’s also embarrassed, Chris is doing a really good job at hiding it, because he jerks forward, giving her the momentum to push into Sam. Josh is able to weave out of the way, positioning Sam at Ashley’s side. The girls hold onto each other’s arms, and finally, with a quick but heavy push, Sam is able to get the other girl into the water with a splash.

Ashley grabs onto Chris’ hand as she falls and the both are submerged, laughing and clinging to each other. They’re gazing into each other’s eyes as they both break the surface of the water, still smiling to each other. Sam places her arms on Josh’s head and drops her chin so she’s resting on them. “Aww. We won, but they really won.”

Josh laughs. “Mission accomplished, huh, Sammy?”

She reaches down and splashes him with water. “When’s it your turn to get a girlfriend?”

“When you get some better dance moves.”

Sam rolls her eyes.

She’s in the upstairs bathroom drying herself off, when she overhears Josh’s voice through the open window. It’s early in the morning - maybe 8am - and the party has well cleared out, so that now the only occupants of the house are Sam, Josh and the twins. The girls are heavy sleepers, especially after the excitement of last night, but Sam’s always been a morning person and she wakes at 6:30 to go for a run.

“So you’re not able to make it.” He says it like it’s a statement. His voice is gravelly - she doubts she’d ever heard it without its jovial tone before.

A pause.

“It’s important to me.”

“I know, Dad.” A sigh. “Forget about it. I’ll see you next weekend, okay?”

A click to signal the end of the phone call, and a loud crash. Sam tries her best to make haste before she catches Josh. The door of the bathroom bursts open and Sam’s hand darts to her shirt, legs still bare.

“Fuck!” Josh covers his eyes with his hands. His eyes are red rimmed, like he didn’t get enough sleep, and he smells lightly of beer. Josh clears his throat and his voice is almost back to normal. “Sorry, Sammy.”

She tries to pull on her leggings and t-shirt as fast as she can, cheeks reddening. “No, no, I’m sorry.”

He peeks through his fingers and smiles weakly. “You decent?”

Sam bats at him with her t-shirt. “Josh!”

“Hey, I just need the medicine cabinet and I’ll be on my way,” he smirks. “Unless you need some help here.”

“You’re incorrigible.” She steps out of the way so that he can reach the bathroom mirror, and she’s suddenly aware of his presence right behind him. He pops open a couple of bottles and swallows the pills dry, not even stopping to read the labels.

After Sam has been with the Washingtons for more than half of her life, she realises that being friends with Josh is like having an alarm clock and not remembering what time you set it for. Sometimes he would be genial and warm, and other times he would freeze over. Sometimes he would pass her notes in the hallway. Sometimes, he wouldn't look at her at all. When she makes the swim team, he draws her three little manatees on a sticky note with speech bubbles above them saying, "You did it!" and "You're amazing!". She keeps them on the inside of her binder. Despite knowing him for so long, she still can't figure him out.

When the fall turns to winter, Hannah calls her in tears from the hospital. Josh won't be home for three months.

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