I'm Sorry If I'm Difficult To Deal With. I Don't Know How To Deal With Myself Either.

Me this Wee..

I cant get up without getting spliting headache and vertigo :///

HAVE STUFF TO DO.I want to like be physical and active and keep myself healthy but I took a 30 minute walk 2 days ago right I try to take daily walks and 1 had to lay in bed all day after becuse I was so freaking exhausted. A 30 minute walk. I literally just wondered aroundddd guyyss

I so badly want to absolutely cvt all over my arms but I had to go and tell one person and now they check my arms. You wanna help me? Let me freaking cvt

forced to say “it’s okay!” Instead of throwing a fucking chair at their head

Shut up, I know others have it worse.

I know I’m a horrible person.

I know that I deserve my poisoned mind.

I know that I’m not worth anything.

I know that I deserve everything that’s coming for my life and my throat.

I know that no one will ever want me.

I know that I’m ugly.

I know that I’ll never be loved by a stranger.

I know that I don’t deserve to complain.

I know that I’m privileged.

Goddamnit, I fucking know that I deserve these thoughts, that I deserve to die and, god, I know that I should’ve never been born to begin with.

So shut the fuck up.

every year i reach new lows and wish i killed myself earlier

Yeah why im in so much pain i feel like im dying why not just be dying

Why isnt the suffocation from depression enough to kill me?

When did showers become a space to cry

And not a space where we sung

When did our bed become a refuge and tomb

And not the place where we slept

When did school become a thing of dread and misery

And not a space of joy

When did our parents become our enemy

And not the people we looked up to the most

When did pencil sharpeners become refuge

And not a simple tool

When did it all start to hurt

When did I stop loving you

They say go to therapy

It'll help

Then why dose every therapy session end in me wanting to kill myself more

I didn’t plan to be here so I don’t know how to be here